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I thank God for the gift of immeasurable love that my husband and I have found in each other. #Married
My husband and I met on Largefriends.com in 2007. He was 50 years old. I was 45years old. He was not a large man, he was 5'9 and worked out most days - physically
fit. I had always struggled with my weight and had reached a high at that time of
about 250 pounds. He said I was beautiful. He was always attracted to heavier
women, as they were almost always, unusually kind, happy, giving and thoughtful and
considerate women - great personalities. And he liked the curves of a full figured
woman. We soon became good friends, chatting and talking and being a friend to
each other when we needed it the most.
He was a gift to me at that time. He lived very far away - over 3,000 miles away.
And for me - that meant safety.
I was going through a very difficult time in my life - health wise, financially,
emotionally and with my children.
He was an amazing support and encouragement - a wonderful friend. Even though we
did not meet for over two years, we became very good friends. He often would mail
me "care packages" in the mail. Little gifts, books, videos, cards, stuffed animals
- something to help me to believe that there was someone in the world that cared.
He bought me my first lap top computer - and sent it to me for Christmas one year.
Our first meeting was 2 years after having first met at large friends. He was on a
training course, about 8 hours from where I lived, and I drove down to meet him the
first time.
That was before GPS was a common way of finding one's way and I did not have a cell
phone. I got horribly lost. I was 6 hours late for our meeting. I had stopped
along the way to call him from a phone booth, - and he very patiently and happily
said not to worry, he would be there whenever I got there.
To be honest with you, I was in a panic and scared. In my past marriage, when
things were good, they were really and truly wonderful. But when they were bad,
they were really really horrible and painful. And I often felt like I was walking
on egg shells - never knowing if it was going to be a good day or a bad day. And
the bad days could last months. Everything was always my fault, and there was
usually a price to be paid. I lived for the good days - which really were good.
He was a good man - just very wounded himself.
When I arrived, he had already made arrangements for the valet to greet me and take
care of my car. They were all smiles, as they told me he had been waiting all day
for me to arrive.
Walking past the big window of the lobby, I looked in and saw him - there he was,
so quietly and patiently waiting in the lobby, reading a book from his briefcase.
Dark hair, dark eyes, with his glasses sitting half way down his nose, engrossed
in his book, I thought how handsome he looked - so much better than the couple of
pictures I had seen, which I thought had been good - he must have felt me watching
him, he noticed me thru the window and looked up with a big smile and quickly
dropped everything right there, to walk very fast to greet me.
That was our first kiss.
We took a limo into New York City from there. I felt so happy sitting next to him.
We had a wonderful weekend in New York City. It really helped that we had spent
over two years getting to really know, understand, and like each other through
telephone, emails and chats. It was like we had known each other our whole lives.
It felt right. So comfortable.
There is a verse in the bible that says "in quietness and confidence shall be your
strength". This man was exactly what I was looking for. A confident, quiet
strength. Compassionate. Patient. Gentle. Kind. Yet, strong and confident.
He had retired young from the government - both military and police.
After the weekend in New York City, he drove back to my home with me, to meet my
family for the first time and flew from there back to his city.. We often laugh
about that drive back. My old Rabbit diesel barely made it up those steep hills -
chugging to the top of the hills.
That was the first and the last time we saw each other for a few more years.
We continued to stay in touch. And even though he was transferred to a different
location far away, and he met a woman at his work that he started to see on a
regular basis, (long distance relationships are challenging) - we still stayed in
touch as friends. We had always been friends. And we continued to stay friends.
I dated someone else for a while during this time as well. And truly did come to
love him - but reached the point of realizing that we were not looking for the same
things. I believed he loved me, but would never reach the point of desiring to be
married.
I told him that I wasn't happy living apart - that I missed him too much, and if he
wasn't wanting a life with me, a life of commitment and marriage to each other, to
please tell me. He told me that while he loved me, he didn't think he would ever
marry again. While I was devastated, I choose to move on and developed other
talents and strengths in my own life. And I started a new business.
Which led me to a USA city several different trips - and on the last trip to that
city, my friend from Large Friends had just bought a house there. We had always
stayed in touch over the years - a hello and whats up kind of email every few
months. I had written to him to share with him the updates in my own life and told
him I was going to be in that city assisting in teaching a course there. I had
rented a condo, but needed a hotel room for a few days until when the condo opened
up. Did he know of a good hotel in the area of the course I was going to be
working at?
He said he was going to be out of town - he needed to finish up some things at his
last job, and offered me to stay at his home.
His relationship with his girlfriend had been on and off over the past few years.
She had many personal struggles and issues.
What I didn't know is that she had died of a heart attack, and his reason for going
back there was to tidy up things there.
I thankfully accepted the offer to stay at his home for a few days while he was
away.
When I finally arrived, it was about 2:00 a.m. I had to pick up the key he left
with another friend of mine in the city and drive across the city to find his home.
When I got there, and opened the door, he had left a lamp on - so the place was not
in darkness. He had stocked the fridge with all the special things I like to eat.
I had been able to loose a lot of weight, through healthy eating choices, and the
fridge was full of the things I like to eat for breakfast and for meals.
When I walked into the bedroom, the lamp was on the bedside table - he had bought me
a beautiful soft robe, the colour of rich cream, and it was laying across the bed.
There was a tray on the bed, with a flower on it, herbal teas, a few goodies and
treats and a book he thought I would enjoy reading. There were luxury bath items
on the edge of the bathtub. A brand new big fluffy towel and face cloth. All
waiting for me.
I think that was the moment I fell in love.
The thoughtfulness and kindness of this man was extra ordinary. And I felt truly
welcomed and knew that he too cherished our friendship.
He is the old fashioned kind of man - in all the right ways. He believes a man
should take care of his woman. And I'm an old fashioned woman who believes that in
this day and age, many women have forgotten how to be women. That mystery and
allure, sweetness, giving and unselfish nurturing nature.
I stayed the few days until my condo opened up. And then moved into the condo. The
course was a six week course.
He came back to the city about two weeks later, and took me to dinner and explained
the struggles his former girlfriend had, and why he continued to be there for her,
through all of her struggles. And he told me, while shedding a few tears, that she
had passed away, and that was where he had been, packing up her apartment after her
death.
We really connected on a whole different level at that time. And we became an "us"
shortly after that. We dated the rest of the time I had in the city.
And we made a commitment to be exclusively seeing each other. And we made the
effort through the long distance relationship to stay connected and in relationship.
He would come to Canada. I would go to the USA. Back and forth. For two and a
half years. And thousands and thousands of minutes of phone bills.
He fit in so well with my family. He has done so much for my children and
grandchildren. My mother too. When I had to be away from home for business, (my
mother lived with me) he discovered my mom loved the series "Touched by an Angel"
and so he bought the entire series of DVDS and mailed them one at a time to her,
each week. So she wouldn't feel too lonely.
He knew and understood my commitment to my mom, and was willing to love her too and
be part of the "family".
One of the things I had admired about him, was his thoughtfulness towards others.
When we first started getting to know each other, there was a little old elderly
lady that lived down the street from him. She lived alone. Her family was all out
of state. He would pick her up every week and take her for lunch and to play an
occasional game of bingo. Every week. That made such an impression on me.
That kind of unselfish caring and giving to others.
Two and a half years ago, for New Years Eve, he suggested that we meet in New York
City - the city it all began in, where we first met years before.
We were at the top of the Empire State building - FREEZING cold, is an
understatement - with the lights of the city below us, when he asked me to marry
him.
He said I had been his best friend, and now he wanted to make me his wife.
Of course, I said yes.
We were married 10 months later. And life truly has been the closest thing to a
fairy tale that I could imagine.
He is amazing - one of a kind.
We still have long periods apart from each other. I'm Canadian, married to an
American and living and working in my business in Nigeria. We go back and forth
between Canada, USA and Nigeria. I thank God that he is not tied down to a 40 hour
a week job - he is retired from the government (but too young to really be retired -
so he works for himself on contracts). He will come to Canada for a month - I'll
go to the USA for a month - and he has come to Nigeria as well.
I remember this one time, I had booked my flight to Nigeria from Canada. There
were three connections before the one to Nigeria. I had already spent most of the
day in airports. I had eaten dinner at the last connection, and was headed to the
gate to catch my last flight to Africa. It was very late at night - midnight. No
one in that part of the airport, except the few people flying to Africa. And I was
so tired walking to the gate.
My feet were dragging, my pillow kept falling out of my arms - (I was loaded down
with "stuff") when, as I was walking I could hear John Denver's DREAMLAND EXPRESS
playing behind me.
I thought to myself - that is so weird. That someone here in this city, this late
at night, in an almost empty airport, would be playing the song we danced to at our
wedding. So I turned around to see who it was playing the song.
There was my handsome husband who looked into my eyes, and who started to sing along
with it.
"...Let me be the end of your rainbow
Let me be the stars up above
Let me be the one that you long for, baby,
Let me be the one that you love, ohh ohh
Let me be the one that you love"
He had been hiding behind the post in the airport, waiting (for over 2 hours while I
ate dinner in a restaurant, where he didn't know where I was)
He saw me coming far away - knowing it was me, dragging my pillow and blanket and
weighted down with extra luggage.
He had booked his own ticket to that airport to connect with me, and had booked the
seat next to me for the flight over to Nigeria.
In the past 2.5 years since we have been married, we have spent half of our days
physically apart from each other. But never apart in our spirits and hearts and
all of our days are like a little piece of heaven on earth.
I am blessed beyond measure.
Every day that we are apart, he writes me the most beautiful love letters. Some I
could post here - some I can't. *smile*
The time difference between him and I is 8 hours. He writes them right before he
goes to bed at night, thinking about me as he drifts off to sleep. And I get them
first thing in the morning, when I wake up, I get to start my day with him. Even
though he is sleeping. And every night, before I go to sleep, he calls me in
Africa, and reads the letters to me over the telephone. And I get to finish my day
with him, and holding him that much closer in my heart than the day before.
When you've had the kind of marriage I had the first time - when you never know if
you are going to be greeted in love or in anger and hatred - and now you have this
kind of marriage - it makes me believe that God truly takes the broken things of
this world, redeems them and gives back beyond what you can ever imagine or hope
for.
In almost 3 years of marriage - he has never been the cause of me shedding a single
tear. He has never raised his voice to me. He gives me his absolute undying
love and affection - he has opened up his heart to me, and I've found a home inside
of that heart.
A home of mutual love, respect, honesty, communication, comfort, passion,
friendship, partnership, affection, kindness, unselfishness, caring, giving - beyond
what I thought was ever humanly possible.
I thank God for the day I registered at largefriends.com
And I thank God for the gift of immeasurable love that my husband and I have found
in each other.
When we are 95 years old, he will likely still be writing me love letters, and I'll
still be making his coffee in the morning, and we'll be holding hands all day long
and snuggling on the couch at night. He will still be opening the car door for me
each time,- giving me a kiss as I get inside the car. He will still make sure that
when we walk down the sidewalk, he is on the street side, holding my hand every step
of the way.
The twinkle in his eyes will be because of me, and the smile on my face, that lights
up every time I see him, will still be his.
And I believe he will still be singing:
"..Let me be the end of your rainbow
Let me be the stars up above
Let me be the one that you long for, baby,
Let me be the one that you love, oh oh
Let me be the one that you love"