Can married men have women as friends? Friendship

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 15, 2004 at 08:06 AM

    I think that a married man should be able to have and make friends with other women, but I've been told that by making friends with other women that I'm risking my marrage. What do you think?
  • 68Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Feb 18, 2006 at 02:08 PM

    It all depends on how much in love you are with your wife. If you're 100% in love and the sort of person who can be faithful then what threat or harm is it to have female friends?

    However if one or either of you are the jealous type then it probably wouldn't be worth the hassle that it would cause.

    It seems to be differnt all over the world. I used to have a friend in Kansas who has men over who sit on her bed in the dark and talk and then they go home and there's nothing in it. Now when she told me this I just didn't believe it would be possible, but that's because i'm from the UK and if anyone is lying on my bed they'd better watch

    I do have female friends who i'd never consider dating as I just don't fancy them in that way.

    The big question I have is why is a married man on this site anyway? Isn't he punished

    Chris (Sharpe)
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 18, 2006 at 01:29 PM

    Absolutely Yes.

    It's simple...

    When two people are in a mutual relationship, they need to be awareof how their behavior with other people will effect the feelings of their partner. If you don't like wearing that emotional straight jacket, then stay single and play the field.

    What does all this mean?

    So if you want to have platonic friendships, and you don't want a partner that hounds you, nags you, or becomes insanely jealous or doesn't trust you....then find a partner that does trust you, won't nag, won't become jealous.

    If you and your mate are being respectful to each other and considerate, then it shouldn't be a problem....

    Or stay single, and have as many friends, in as many different varieties as you want.

    Members Only

  • View author's info Posted on Feb 16, 2006 at 11:56 PM

    All my life I have been more comfortable with female friends. So most of my friends are women. One of the reasons my marriage fell apart was because I cut off all contact with my friends. Relying on just one person for your emotional support is very difficult for that person. But like most of the views expressed here, I agree that no secrets is a must for it too work. If you hide your friendships from your spouse, then you are just asking for trouble. Either you are going to cross the line or you are going to inspire bad feelings on your spouses part when he or she finds out.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 20, 2006 at 01:49 PM

    Since before my Wife and I met, I've had mostly woman friends. There is no jealousy in our Marriage because she knows that there is nobody else who could possibly take her place. I'm retired during the day I like to go to a resturaunt and have coffee or lunch and there are times when I meet one of my woman friends there to talk about common interests. Or someone will contact me online to ask about somthing (all too often, it's a computer related problem they need help with) or I'll go to the casino with a woman friend. There's no problem with this because we know that we are commited to eachother and we Love eachother. And, or course, we completely trust eachother. From thalking with people that does seem to be the major issue between couples. A certain level of trust has to be reached before anyone should Marry or otherwise commit. Another problem area might be jealousy (the big, green ugly monster). If one partner is spending time and resources apart from the other partner then they have a communication gap. And that must be resolved first before anything is done. Another reason why one partner might feel slighted would possibly be because there is somthing in their consience (spelling?) which is bothering them? There are all sorts of reasons involving the human condition which might cause jealousy. I think that the source must be examined before any action is taken.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 19, 2006 at 08:20 AM

    I couldn't imagine being either in a relationship with someone or married to someone and have them saying to me, see ya later honey I'm going to go meet my good friend Jane for a cup of coffee. Not without me you're not. lol Guess I'm just the insecure, jealous type.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 18, 2006 at 05:49 AM

    I'm new to the site and am only looking for friendship. I don't see why you cant have friends of both sex. Its so nice to find people who think the same, a friendship is special.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 13, 2006 at 01:17 PM

    When I was married, I was not aloud to have female friends without suffering the consequences from my wife. This was one of the reasons for our divorce.Well, that and the fact she loved to have sex,(I just wished it was with ME once in awhile) As some other people have stated, I dont see a problem with it as long as the "Line" is not crossed. I cant see ending a friendship because my partner is jealous of the of the other.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 09, 2006 at 03:44 AM

    Sounds resonable to have women friends doesn't it? But as a woman whose husband has a "FRIEND" that is a woman and who has crossed that boundry, be very careful. My husbands friend was not know to me until almost a year after this friendship started. I have them on video kissing so it is much more than friendship although he insists that is all it is. He just wants to "Talk" to her. Be very truthful with your wife if you decide to go this route. And remenber, it is true that men only have enough blood to run one head at a time. Be truthful with your wife AND yourself and you shoul be ok.
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 08, 2006 at 12:00 PM

    I think he depend on u marriage and if u wife is jalousor not and trust in u marriage
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 08, 2005 at 12:37 PM

    I was told once that this was impossible. I didnt believe it, but now that I have examined it for over a year, they were exactly right. A man and a woman CANT be friends. Somebody wants to ****. I have examined it in my own male/female relationships, and dang if they werent right. Either I was thinking about it (okay, so i have the guts to admit it, or they were...) bout the best you can do is family friends.

    From a former non-believer.... test it yourself.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 07, 2005 at 08:03 AM

    When my wife and I met I had more female friends than male friends. The ones she was not comfortable with are not around physically anymore. She knows we still email every now and then, just no more coffee shops. She knows that she is #1 and always will be. She works at a construction site and deals with nothing but men all day long. She goes out to drinks with them after work, and thats ok. Why? because we trust each other. We both know that sometimes you need to vent or get advice from the opposite gender to help with the relationship. Have you heard a conversation between two guys about love? aah no!!!! The problem with this site is everyone assumes that us men are here to cheat. I have never asked anyone to meet. I am looking for fresh views from people who are unbiased between my wife and I.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 04, 2005 at 08:55 PM

    Should marry men have friendship with other females. I think as long as the wife knows. It's the unknown that get that man in trouble. You need to remember your wife is your best friend and that she come's first. Once you cross those lines it's hard for relationship to get back on course. I know first hand. My ex-husband decided it was best to have friends on the side that I didn't know. It create a big problem. That really hurt. He felt as though he was justified my a**!!!!
    If I had a friendship with another male I had to be sleeping with him. So I say be truthful.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 03, 2005 at 07:33 AM

    One of my best friends is married. I get along good with his wife too, but she is not my close friend. Funny thing... I knew him before they got married. He is 14 years younger than me... never even thought about dating him... he was younger and just a good friend. When he got married, his wife is a year older than me. I must admit... I have been known to wonder what would have happened if I'd flirted with him back then. LOL
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 14, 2005 at 07:50 AM

    Now, this thread I like...It is so honest and not a big joke.
    I too think boundaries must be set for friendships ...but yes I have men "on the side" stuff involved.
    Some are married , some are not...and for me...base rules...mate always needs to know who you are...what you are about and be willing to chat with them as well....the potential for more trusting friends is wonderful...
    Trying not to be so lonely isn't a bad thing, married or single...we all need friends to keep us going in life...thanks all of you for showing me...some people are truly real....Faye
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 09, 2005 at 05:36 AM

    hi im a super size big handsome male from western new york im looking 4 male or female around the world
  • View author's info Posted on May 22, 2005 at 07:57 PM

    Hi, I absolutly believe that married couples can have platonic relationships with the opposite gender. However. if your prone to cheat or are easy attracted to the opposite gender then i dont think its a good idea. It all depends or your motives(intensions) and your maturity level. So yes, Men can be friends with women (just keep mr. pokey in your pants) and women can be friends with men (just dont try to make you bf/husband jealous) Try introducing them to eachother and hopefully sooner or later they will also become friends too
  • View author's info Posted on May 22, 2005 at 11:05 AM

    I think that most consider it an ok thing for a married woman to have male friends. Very few look at such friendships and raise an eyebrow in doubt.
    Men on the other hand live under the stigma that we're unable to maintain a friendship because all we want is extramarital affairs and even if married it is only the truely rare men who are honorable enough to be trusted in a platonic friendship.
  • View author's info Posted on May 22, 2005 at 06:04 AM

    I have alot of married men that are just "friends". If the wife knows about you and nothing is hidden, then there is nothing wrong with it.

    In My opinion and MY opinion only, I feel that a woman can have a "friendship" with a married man and have it be just that........a friendship. Alot of men, not all, find it difficult to have just a "friendship" with a woman without some kind of intimacy.

    I have also come across men who think that just because you do not have a boyfriend, you must be lonely and feel unloved. So he feels that if he plays his cards right he can eventually arrange to be in a comromising situation with you (if you know what I mean)and you will give in because you are alone. Fortunatly, I can see people and read them pretty well, as soon as I get that vibe, it is Buh Bye! Not interested in the married man that way.

    As a matter of fact, a friend of mine just had this conversation the other night and HE said a man cannot be friends with a woman!

    These are just my opinions, not necessarily right, just my opinion.
  • View author's info Posted on May 22, 2005 at 02:48 AM

    My Ex never told me about his "friend". He then left me for her. Oh thankyou God !!
    I think if it's out in the open within the marriage it would be ok, but i still have my reservations because of the way my mind works.....I would want to know why he needs to talk to women instead of me etc. That's just my insecurities though, because of past history.
    Shula x