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Married and in Love........with someone else. fun on the side

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 04, 2006 at 06:14 PM

    I was wondering what yall think about this. I have a friend who is married but is in love with a married woman. Apparently he cares about his wife but the intimacy is not even there. Before I could shout the Counseling word he wasn't trying to go there. So my question is, can a man or a woman be married and in love with someone else? I think it's very possible but what do yall think?
  • 13Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 02, 2006 at 12:02 PM

    I know that if you fall in love with someone else you are just an abuser to your spouse. I work hard, sometimes two jobs and then get the I love you but, I'm in love with someone else 'cause he cares about me and wants to spend time with me line. After all I had done to keep her housed and fed and clothed. Of course I didn't have as much time to spend with her. But, what do you do about that ladies.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2006 at 10:02 PM

    I've heard at least 3 divorced or separated men claim they went looking for sex because their wife wass "frigid", or "doesn't want sex anymore". Men associate sex as an act of love from their spouse, while women unhappy in a relationship can have difficulty being intimate with their spouse as a consequence of dissatisfactory marriage.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 29, 2006 at 10:15 AM

    Hell oim in the same situation i have a married man who is in love with me and he said if he had it his way hed marry me and have the other girl but he loves me because hes broken the law for me paid for some lesions and sticks up for me if someone gives me hard time.Hes tels me everything.

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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 21, 2006 at 02:07 PM

    Your friend sounds more like he is married and not getting any at home, so he gives in to temptation and is having an affair with a woman who is not happily married herself. Because the hooking up is so good, he has convinced himself that he is in love. And of course your friend does not want to go to counseling, because then he would have to admit that he was cheating and would be told to stop his behaviour.

    We all know what he is experiencing is a chemical reaction to doing something that is not only wrong, but has the potential for danger.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 19, 2006 at 04:36 AM

    Please tell your friend to try to have the courage to talk to his wife. Who knows she could be desperately unhappy too. If there are children involved they may be affected and believe me children pick up on the slightest things. I ve found some people stick their heads in the sand when they have an affair. Its easier to walk out of a relationship into the arms of someone else, than try to resolve their issues and put the romance back.The grass always seems greener on the other side. Your friend must have married his wife for a reason, he should try to give it a go and see if he can put the sparkle back into his marriage.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 14, 2006 at 04:01 PM

    yes i do think and know you can be in love with someone else whilst married.i was one of these people but sometimes lust is mistaken for think at the time you love this person but your judgement gets clouded by the excitement of the affair and lucky for me i found this out.i hope your friend works out his feelings because once you leave your spouse and get to know this person without the 'secret excitement' its not usually what you think it is.good luck
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 07, 2006 at 07:12 PM

    It happens every day. It's a shame he's not willing to consider any type of marriage councelling for him and his wife. It sounds like they both could really use it.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 28, 2006 at 03:02 PM

    Yes it can be possible unfortunately, it starts out more or less a physical relationship but over time feelings develop. Most people like to have their cake and eat too...It is a hurtful situation and at one point and time I was cheated on, then the tables turned then I was cheating, it's just a no win situation and somebody always gets hurt, I hope that situation works out but I feel as long as he can get away with it then he will continue cheating, so sad but so true.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 27, 2006 at 10:01 PM

    Jeanie : I agree with you 100%
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 26, 2006 at 10:09 PM

    It's possible yes, though I think a lot of married men confuse "love" with "she gives me lots of sex" Maybe your friend should try to spice up his love life with his wife first. One of the worst things that kills marriages is "disillusionment" where you get comfortable with each other and then wake up one morning and the couple are miles apart from each other romantically and intimately. When the sex life dies people turn to cheating. It's really sad that happens but it does.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 23, 2006 at 02:46 AM

    Wh-oa Jeanie slow down the man only spoke of the man in the marriage not the woman. I'm not trying to point any fingers at anyone but two people are in a relationship. Is it the woman that dosne't want the intimacy or the man? Maby they have other issues that is making one hold back. I do believe in giving one's wife 100% attention. Obviously the siduation for these people has changed in some way and a something has been lost.
    For my two cents---

    Yes-- Every person deserves the right to be needed and need. Should someone not have that in their lives they should go looking for it. Love for another persone outside of a marriage is ok to act upon it while married is different. Honesty is key in a siduation like this...
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 07, 2006 at 04:04 AM

    Yes it is possible. Sometimes feelings and needs change. No matter how you wish they didn't or that you could control them, you can't. You can't control your heart. Just my thoughts.
    Good luck to your friend, I hope he finds happiness.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 06, 2006 at 08:53 AM

    H*LL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so wrong..... is your friend on CRACK?.....wrong wrong wrong.....he took VOWS....and they do HAVE meaning!!!! your friend needs to get his head out of his butt and start giving his wife 100%.... he needs to try to look at the reasons why he married her in the first place.... you need to tell him to take a GOOD look at his wife..grab her..hold her in his arms look deep deep into her eyes and give her what THEY both deserve a CHANCE....but if he feels NOTHING when he looks into her eyes...the he needs to MOVE on .....if theres no love there then let her go stop being so DAMN SELFISH!!!!!!.... he needs to allow HER to find someone who does LOVE her and KNOWS her 2 cents hope it helps....BB Jeanie