Why do big men want casual relationships not LTRs? DATING

  • View author's info Posted on May 18, 2009 at 02:54 PM

    I notice that most men in California want casual relationships ... does this mean big guys are frightened of commitment or having a meaningful connection with one woman that lasts LTR ?

    The only men that wink at me or email me on here seem to be looking for fun in the moment rather than an actual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or LT partnership. I am curious to know why?

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  • View author's info Posted on May 08, 2010 at 06:54 PM

    I don't think it's very fair to pigeonhole every guy under the same umbrella excuse. I think there are a lot of factors.

    Some of us just might be insecure and fear commitment, fear letting someone down, fear screwing up.

    I'm of the opinion that if we're talking about normal, sane men.. not assholes who would cheat or dodge a relationship no matter the circumstances. It's really not as maniacal or evil as some people want to let on.

    I think it boils down to a guy's personal insecurity. By winning over another woman or seeking out another woman, we feel liberated. When we answer to one woman, it's not easy to keep all of our needs satisfied and I don't just mean sexually. Guys are selfish and you really have to go out of your way to make sure he's happy. I don't think that's fair but I think that's part of the problem for some guys.

    I will admit that years ago, I led one particular woman on for a couple months. And for myself, I just didn't click with her. We were friends and I didn't stop her from becoming attached to me. It's hard to tell someone how you really feel sometimes, especially if you know they're more interested and it will hurt them. But again, this is under the assumption the man respects you.

    If you ask me though, if you meet a guy who can't communicate even a little and there's an average amount of chemistry, you should just move on and just stay friends if he's mature enough to have a female friend he doesn't have to sleep with you to stay in touch with.
  • View author's info Posted on May 02, 2010 at 05:07 AM

    I don't thinbk it's just big men and it's the same in England too. I am on a few different dating websites and the majority seem to want fun. Or they say they want a relationship but really are only after one thing!!!

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 25, 2010 at 06:47 PM

    because they want to keep that option open...my experience has been that the 40+ men are the ones who want to play the most...20+ men are the ones who want a relationship...and 30+ men seem to want it all...go figure :)
  • View author's info Posted on Jun 13, 2009 at 05:11 PM

    It may have something to do with age...once men get past their 'sexual prime' they tend to get tired of that game, and want some actual meaning in a relationship.