Write down any and all information you have on the person and make arrangements with a family member or friend that, in case something goes wrong, they will know where to get the info and can pass it along to the police. I even save all my conversations with a person and print them out, along with any emails, and leave all that in a folder for my sister. She knew where I kept my folder and I always called her when I was heading out to meet someone that I had met online. You must always always always think of safety first. Yes, most people are decent law abiding citizens... but it is always best to be safe than sorry. Always drive yourself and, if you have a cell phone, make arrangements for someone to call you within 15 minutes after the time you were to meet just to check in and make sure everything is okay. Don't be paranoid.... just be cautious.
When someone contacts me online and we begin to talk by phone, I listen to my gut feeling and pay attention to the red flags. If his life has too much drama, complications, and red flags for me, without getting into specifics and explanations(which will make him defensive), I tell him that we aren't a match and I wish him well. If a man and I do choose to meet, I always text a trusted friend with the identify of my date and our location. I always meet for the first time at a location-usually a morning at a busy fast food place- in my neighborhood. I don't meet anyone at night for the first time. If he works 9-5, then we can meet one morning on one of his day's off. Not only do I text, but I leave the my date's name, verifiable phone number and any his other verifiable info, and where we're going to meet taped on the back of my front door. This is in case, I don't return home at least my family and the police will know where to start looking for me and the last person I was with. When I return home, I always inform my friend that I made it home safely. Fortunately, I haven't had any bad, terrfying experiences but it's better to be cautious than sorry.
All the advice here is well worth the extra effort that you need to put into it. But I do have one question. Yes, investigating someone's background is a good idea before meeting them, but how do you know if they even have given you their real name? It will be difficult to do a background check on someone who isn't even who they say they are. If the name they give you is false, and you check them out, and it returns with nothing as far as a criminal background, is it actually the person you are going out with? Does anyone here know how you can be sure that he/she is actually who they SAY they are?
I met a woman from another site who had some bad experiences. One she was trapped in a moving car and driven out of town , and On a different occasion had a knife held to her throat "as a joke" by an ex con.
Remember your looking for love in a Jungle albeit a concrete one its still a jungle.
Pay attention to your intuition that why you have it. If some thing makes you feel uncomfortable Pay attention to that feeling and break it off or slow things WAY DOWN until you can get a handle on things.
For Woman it's important to sighn up for one of those sites that can check public records to see if someone has any type of record.
Meeting a public place, have a predetermined END time. NEVER under any circumstances leave your original meeting place for another whilst getting into HIS car. If your car suddenly doesn't work call triple AAA He may want to drive you home but call AAA if he is a gentleman he'll wait with you...and he will understand.
You can arrange to have someone go with you to the meeting place and be there when when your date arrives use a camera phone to secretly take their picture and then leave. Off to a diufferent part of the plaace for a drink.
They call 40 to 45 minutes later and now you might need an excuse to "get out" of the date well here it is. work, baby sitter car accident whatever you can get out.
The tough ones to catch are the Ted Bundys, smart, charming and good looking, No One WANTs to believe its guys like that.
Remember files left on desks are great, they'll help recover the body. You need to prevent it from getting to that point in the first place!
Read read read your life might depend on it someday.
For anyone,man or woman,do your homework on them. Investigate their background. Listen to them as they talk for anything that seems wrong. If you can find someone else that's talked to them, email them and see what they thought of them too. Always, always, be careful when meeting. Have a security plan in place, like calling a friend every hour. Meeting in a public place is very important. And like gamblin man said....never go home with him/her on the first date. If it went well, there will be another date.
Safety as you have said is the most important thing. The basic safety tip is tell someone where you are going. That way if something does happen people have an idea where to start. Second have your cell phone with you. If you have the time take some self defense classes. Yes everyone knows a good kick to the jimmies will usually work, but in case it doesn't what then. Also when you first meet someone go to a well lit place where there are a lot of people. No matter what you feel never go home with that person on the first date.
Dazzleme.... on this site, if you want to initiate contact, such as IM's or email, then you will have to become a paid member. I would encourage you to join for at least one month and you will find this is a great site for you. Everyone can reply to emails, even free members, but sometimes free members don't realize that and so they don't reply. Give it some time. Be patient. Happy Hunting!!!
Hey, this is my first time doing this so I really thought what you said was good advice..Do you have any advice on how to really get started with the web-site? I want to chat but I don't know what the right way is....Thanks for your help.Have a great day