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Single Fathers/ Men with kids from previous relationships. Just Chat

  • View author's info Posted on Aug 02, 2005 at 12:43 PM

    You said it best it is her loss. I'm sorry you ran into such an insensitive and confused woman.

    Because I'm pretty sure she would raise hell if her kids were to be disrespected or dismissed.

    So I don't know how she did it to you; knowing how it must feel when she is dismissed. Because I know women w/ children get shunned.

    Good luck. I'm sure that a special lady is out there observing how well you treat those 3 angels of yours and will soon find herself add to that circle of love.

    And good for you being so strong. again good luck.
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  • View author's info Posted on Aug 09, 2005 at 11:55 AM

    Omega_10 write:
    I Absolutely REFUSE to turn my back on my children for anyone!!!!.Also just the other day I was out with my kids enjoying a day at the playground and a few ladies walked by and noticed me spending quality time with my kids and they all nodded aprovingly/smiled/complimented me on "Being such a good father".To this I nodded and thanked them for their kind words.(I don't feel as Im doing anything special.)Im just doing as i was taught/raised to take care of your own.(Thanks Grandma/Mom).

    Omega, I give you big props for your statement that you are not doing anything special, that you are only doing what you were taught by your Grandma and Mom. It is pretty sad that we live in a society where a responsibile father is NOT the norm. It is as if we have lowered our standards and expectations of men.

    Anyway, my main reason for posting is because of your comment about women who are not willing to be in a relationship with a man who has children. I happen to love children and have one of my own. I am one who sees children as people who should be treated with respect. I don't conform to the "children should be seen, and not heard" theory that is so prevalent in society. I have the capacity to love children, even if they are not mine and for the most part, don't see a problem with dating a man with kids. BUT the reason that I am less inclined to date a man with children, especially young children, because I don't want to deal with "baby mama drama". Pure and simple. I don't want to have plans spoiled by an "emergency phone call" from the mother that she needs a sitter NOW because something came up in her life and no one else in the family can watch the kids. I don't want to be disrespected by a child because they were told by their mother that they don't have to listen to me, or because the child has heard unflattering remarks about me, and there are plenty of other "games" that are played. And while I am sure that ALL women don't interrupt their ex's relationships, I have seen too many who have and I have made the decision automatically to keep away.

    Perhaps your daughters' mom is not one who wants to cause conflict between you and your future dates, (and count yourself fortunate if she is not). But unfortunately, the bad ones make it tough for the good ones. The only way that I would date a man with children is if the mother was incarcerated for a long time, or was no longer in the children's lives.

    Maybe that is one reason that some women don't want to date you now. Or maybe they just don't like kids. For the ones that don't like kids, count your blessings that they are gone from your life. That woman would only make you and your kids miserable.

    I wish you luck in your search, but in the meantime, remember that your girls won't be little for long. That time flies by and they need you more than you think you need a woman now.

    God bless.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 08, 2005 at 05:04 PM

    You sound a lot like me in many ways. Children are a gift and truly an inspiration. I've done some pretty unbelievable things, because of the scarifice I make to my children.

    Things I have never imagined myself doing. (Nothing bad, mind you.) But I can understand why some parents are driven to do some bad things in order to sustain their families. I can readily admit that I am a completely different person now that I have children. It's amazing how much your world changes in the few months before you give birth.

    Keep the faith, Omega. True women of beauty and morale respect a man who sacrifices who he is for all he wants to be. If a woman can't accept your children, don't become disheartened. Don't accept the woman. Your children are you. I won't settle for anything less in the man of my chosing. When the time comes for me to make that choice. For the moment, I enjoy my children and discovering myself and I'm finding the odds are not impossible. Just difficult to achieve. Love will find me or I will find love...eventually. For now I just pursue happiness. It's far less elusive...
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 05, 2005 at 10:03 PM

    I admire your heart on this issue so much! God bless you as you put your children first! So many dads these days just leave the kids as well as a relationship that didn't work out. I know your kids are among those few who are blessed to have a dad who loves them!

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  • View author's info Posted on Aug 03, 2005 at 06:47 AM

    I have a child as well and for me it is always a "plus" when a man has kids that he takes care of because it says alot about the person he is.

    You will definitely find someone who appreciates you some day. Goood luck!!!