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Funny Stories Family

  • View author's info Posted on Nov 12, 2004 at 04:54 PM

    Hey friends, let's share funny stories about our families. Here's mine: My mom (God rest her soul) was never mechanically inclined. One night, we were watching TV when smoke began billowing out of the set. As we ran toward the TV, mom shouted out, "Maybe if we changed the channel!"
    Now, tell us yours.
  • 32Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Dec 15, 2006 at 09:57 AM

    Kudos Cathii sorry if i spelled wrong my daughter to has Autism she is what they call high functioning and I home school her.
  • View author's info Posted on Dec 15, 2006 at 09:45 AM

    Here's one for ya. I have a six-year-old daughter and she was playing ever so quietly I was so enjoying just for a moment the silence. My daughter comes to me with this toy wrapped in band aides and is so proud of her work i am horrified about the band aides but she is so happy and proud that she made me something special and what is a mother to do but to pat her on the back kiss her sweet cheek and say thank you.
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 16, 2006 at 08:32 PM

    I was on the phone with my mom one day and I was telling her that my box fan wasn't working because it had a split in the cord....I told her I was going to cut the cord with a knife and rewire it and she pipes up in such a serious voice "Well you will remember to unplug it first right?"...........y a h...rewire a fan while it was STILL PLUGGED IN...come on I'm not that blonde....this struck me hard and I had a good still cracks me up.....BB Jeanie
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 22, 2006 at 12:05 PM

    When we were younger my dad took my sister and I to fly a kite. Well the kit got stuck up in our neighbors tree so my dad climbed up to get it. I don't know what he was thinking because he kept going higher and higher and the branches kept getting thinner and thinner pretty soon the branch broke. Now any normal person would of just fallen from the tree but not my dad he starts flapping his arms like he is trying to fly. When he finally hits the ground my sister looks at him and says dad you forgot the kite.
  • View author's info Posted on May 20, 2006 at 03:21 PM

    Heres a story about my daughter when she was 5 ( she is 10 now ).

    We were at McDonalds and she wanted to go to the play area. I said she could. In a couple minutes i went in there to check on her and she was there standing next to a cardboard picture of Ronald McDonald. He had a hole in his privet. She was kiking him and puching him there. I picked her up and took her out of the playarea and drove her home. I still cant get the dirty looks people gave me out of my mind.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 26, 2006 at 04:35 PM

    Me and my sister were taking my nephews to a local fair we have here and my younger nephew loves to play a game where you toss little rubber balls into a bowl and you can win a fish. Well the guy who ran the booth set a basket down for my nephew and he forgot to put the balls in it for him, so my sister yells to the guy "hey my son has no balls" I almost fell over with laughter, everyone one around us just chuckled and my sister couldn't wait to get out of there.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 08, 2006 at 08:02 PM

    This past Christmas, my 3 yr.old niece got a guitar from Santa. She was so excited about her blue guitar and she was tellilng everyone that she was going be a rocker when she was older. One day, some friends were visiting and were listening to her sing and play her guitar. One of the visitors then asked her what was she going to be when she was older, of course she replied, "I wanna be a rocker". But then she got a serious look on her face, I asked her what was wrong, she looked at me and said "I can't be a rocker...I need a tattoo." LOL!! My precious baby!
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 13, 2006 at 03:47 AM

    In reply to 1bigteddybear TV Fire....

    My first car was a 3 wheeler Robin. I didn't know much about cars at the time and it had a pinhole leak in the fuel pipe in the engine bay.

    When the engine was hot this ignited into a large flame. If I ever gave anyone a lift and they said it's very warm in here, I would remove the square panel on the dashboard and show them why. They always had a horrified shocked look on their face when they saw the huge flame. I would shut it quick and carry on driving without a care in the world.

    Until I took a corner at 40mph and the car would go onto it's roof and i'd have to climb out and right it again.

    Needless to say I soon learnt to place a heavy toolbox on the passengers side.
  • View author's info Posted on Mar 13, 2006 at 03:37 AM

    It was suggested to me by my family that I become a p/t music tutor.

    I had never enjoyed mentoring men in the past as they would often get frustrated with there own inabilities and would sometimes become aggressive.

    So I opted to be sexist and only teach women and to make life easier for myself I decided to just teach classical guitar and to provide a free lesson 'air on a G string'.

    However I was only allowed to insert so many words in the newspaper ad and the editor had the discretion of condensing the words. This is how it read in print.

    "Female Guitar Students wanted for experienced male tutor who will provide you with a free G String"!

    My Mother pointed it out to me in the newspaper!

    Oh no!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Jan 18, 2006 at 08:27 AM

    On a recent visit to my parents house my dad (who my daughter calls Grumpy - mainly because he is) informed us that his back was aching, my daughter asked why and he said it was because he was which she replied - 'maybe you'll die soon then'.

    I should'nt have - but i laughed.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 28, 2005 at 08:07 PM

    Before my son began kindergarten (he's 26 now) I took him to a children's dentist for his checkup. The nurse offered him a prize afterwards so he chose a plastic ring. He slipped in on his pudgy little finger, and thought it was really cool. By the time we got home he was complaining that his finger hurt. On closer inspection his finger was swollen and turning blue!! The ring was one that wasn't supposed to be solid all around but split in the back, however it had not come apart when manufactured so it couldn't expand to fit his finger. Without thinking, I said for him not to cry, I'd just cut it off. He started screaming and crying and said" NO! Mom you're not going to cut my finger off!!!'to this day, I remind him of this story each time he visits the dentist!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 28, 2005 at 12:22 AM

    Okay, here is a funny story about one of my many younger cousins... I had bought a whole bunch of those Sixlets candies for my cousins one day and we took them with us to go camping. Well, later that day, I was walking with my one cousin in the woods and she kept stopping along the way, picking things up. I thought she was picking up little stones so I didn't really pay any attention when she said, "What's wrong with the brown candies?" I looked at her and she was holding her hand out, which was full of deer droppings. Needless to say, it took awhile to explain to her that those were not brown sixlets.
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 13, 2005 at 04:59 PM

    I have a 9 yr old nephew, named Fudge, who has always been very particular about his appearance. He was careful about getting dirty, you never had to worry about him leaving the house without him brushing his teeth, hair combed, etc. Now Fudge was a picky eater but he loved fruit. One day when he was about six years old, I was eating a mango and he asked to taste it because he had never had it before. Because the mango was juicy I told him to take his dress shirt and t-shirt off before he ate the mango, which left him bare-chested. I told him that if he spilled the juice on his shirt, it would leave a stain. Hearing this, Fudge, decided that he did not want any mango. When I asked him why, he sadly replied, "I don't want the mango juice to stain me."
  • View author's info Posted on Jul 09, 2005 at 09:56 AM

    I remember our first television, it was a big Admiral set, with tubes that you were forever replacing. Dad bought it used at a store, and it took 3 people to carry the darn thing. We were forever buying tubes, only problem, you never seemed to have the right tube or it would keep blowing them. A tube would blow, and you would either have it completely conk out, have no sound, or no picture. Finally ony day it caught fire, and my mom pulled the plug on it, then threw water on it. When it dried out. mom plugged it back in and it went for awhile until it caught fire again. When it dried out, it was replugged, but it short circuited for the last time with a bang and a puff of smoke.
  • View author's info Posted on May 14, 2005 at 05:21 AM

    My brother and his wife got a divorce but she and I are best friends. So after dating a bunch of losers, she found a really wonderful guy. Everything was great and when they started talking about marriage, she had a little get together so that friends and family could get to know him, etc. One of my nephews, who is 10 and just rotten as he can be, walked up to her new boyfriend and said "So you're the new one, huh? Well, I hope you stick around, cause she's had a lot of boyfriends and boy has she had some doozies!!" Ha! Man, I could NOT help but laugh!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 11, 2005 at 08:24 AM

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 07, 2005 at 03:13 AM

    Good one Tam, you hottie!! LOL

    Just today, my 9yo (who just happens to be my baby, so I may be a little guilty of holding on a bit too tight...) was home alone for about 10 minutes after school. I called to check on him, and he says, "Yeah, I'm doing my homework and listening to DR. PHIL." You're what? And he proceeds to tell me about this 7yo who sleeps in bed with the folks and the poor father has to sleep on the couch because there's not enough room in the marital bed"

    OMG - - talk about ROFLMAO!!

    I told him he could turn on the stereo and just finish his homework. "Okay, I'm just gonna watch Dr. Phil."

    My baby.........
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 07:59 PM

    I'm a speech therapist, so I have a ton of cute little stories about things that kids say...but this one is the best.

    One of my clients (who was 4 at the time) and I were picking out his sticker for reward when we finished our therapy session. I have a fan on the corner of my desk. He turned on the fan. Since we were working on answering questions, I said "Jake, why did you turn on the fan?"

    He looked at me and said, "because my Daddy said you're hot".
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 02, 2005 at 05:19 PM

    Having grown up in a large family, there are many such stories for me.

    One that comes right to mind is that one day when my now 35 year old niece was about 5, I had taken her to Target with me. The sales lady that was helping us had terribly bad buck teeth. Very matter-of-factly, my niece said to her "Hey! You have teeth just like Bugs Bunny!" Oh, my God! I reflexively laughed (I mean ... it WAS funny), then we got the Hell outta there! I still chuckle about that one from time to time!