Its AbzWayne's Joke Time AGAIN... Funny jokes and anecdotes

  • View author's info Posted on Sep 06, 2011 at 05:15 PM

    I didn't realize my girlfriend could do such a brilliant Darth Vader impression.
    Although, I don't recall Darth Vader ever saying "Please... give me back.... my inhaler."

    My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
    I thought she was joking ......... but then I saw her face, and now I believe her.

    I went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. The locals were all shouting paedo and other names at me just because my girlfriend is only 21 and I'm 40.
    It completely ruined our 10th anniversary !!

    My budgie broke his leg the other day so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta's matches......his little face lit up when he tried to walk.

    and Lastly .....

    Do you reckon when Jesus Christ stubbed his little toe he used to just hop around and go, "Me, me, me, me!"?

    Hugz to all that want em ;)
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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 11, 2011 at 11:54 PM

    A married man emailed in to the local radio stations "Doctor"

    Dear Dr. Phil,

    I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sun bathing topless from my bedroom window.
    As I was wanking I turned to noticed my wife just standing there, arms folded ... Watching me !!.

    Is she a pervert?

    And he got a reply...

    Re: Dear Dr Phil

    Funnilly enough my missus caught me staring at my neighbour wife sunbathing topless too. She shouted at me 'Do you want a bloody picture you pervert' to which I replied, 'no it's ok, I've got heaps already'