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Day 1 - What should I write?

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Posted on Oct 03, 2012 at 06:55 PM Total posts: 8

Today is day 1.  My profile has been created and approved.  With a bottle of wine and good music playing, I check my account.  No winks, no emails, no one has even looked at my profile.  I’m a little surprised by how disappointed I am.  So I review my profile and I realize how little it actually says about me.  Is it me, or is it incredibly difficult to paint a picture of who I am in a few “attention grabbing” phrases?  I spent all day thinking about how I could beef it up and came up blank.  I’m me…no catchphrases, no games, just me.  Maybe if I started with why I’m joined the site…

I have just finished reading a series of very spicy books.  There was attraction, romance, conversation, controversy, break-ups and makeups.  I started to wonder if I would ever experience the emotional roller coaster of meeting someone new and a thought hit me.  I may never experience the intense agony of a break up or the euphoric joy of a makeup if I don’t put myself out there to try.  I know that ideally, no one wants to go through the pain of a breakup, but isn’t the ups and downs of a relationship better than the flat line of being alone?  So I joined.  

But it still doesn’t help my pitiful profile.  What words would I use to describe myself?...Well that depends on the day of the week.  Today, I felt powerful and sensual; yesterday, I felt powerful, but alone; tomorrow, is anybody’s guess, maybe shy and flirty.  I asked my friends for good descriptions.  One said “Brutally honest, but without malice.”  I’m still trying to determine if that is a good thing.  One said “inquisitive and astute”  I like that although I’m not sure how relevant it is.  I even heard, “Trustworthy and Dependable”…doesn’t that make me sound like a vacuum cleaner?  Anyone looking for a Hoover?  

Maybe day 2 will be better.

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Posted on Nov 12, 2013 at 10:05 PM Total posts: 1

hey you

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Posted on Dec 01, 2012 at 11:29 PM Total posts: 19

no luck here either. it's okay though. 

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Posted on Oct 11, 2012 at 03:28 AM Total posts: 8

Thanks for the comment.  Oddly enough, I'm not discouraged.  I have felt a little more empowered by joining the site.  So even if I don't find my Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now, at least I'm not sitting around waiting for him to find me, I'm activily looking.  

I hope that you are able to find what you are looking for here or elsewhere.  

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Posted on Oct 10, 2012 at 04:01 PM Total posts: 1

Hey there!  just wanted to reply and let you know you are not alone! I've been on this site for a few months I think and have had no luck at all!  I've reached out to a few and haven't received any replies.  I received 1 wink which was obviously from a scam artist so I didn't bother to reply.  I was thinking it is because I'm in the Northeast and too far away.  I was just getting ready to give up and just delete my profile and try another site when I saw your blog.

I hope things get better for you and you find somebody that can give you what you're looking for!  I also never thought I would be dating or doing any of this in my 40's!


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Posted on Oct 09, 2012 at 08:08 PM Total posts: 8

Day 5

Today was a day for honest reflection.  At work, with my kids, and with my personal life, the one question that I continue to ask myself is, “What do I want to get out of this?”

It’s a good question, what do I hope to get out of this?  So I started analyzing my options:

Marriage:  I’ve been that route and truth be told, I don’t see myself getting married again.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with marriage.  It’s just not for me.  I enjoy controlling my life and my space a little too much to give up that control.  I won’t say I’ll never get married again, never is a very long time, but right now “till death do you part” sounds just as long.

Long term/Serious relationship:  I don’t think this is even an option until the others are thought through.

Casual Intimate:  Okay, I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t looking for an intimate relationship when I joined the site.  The option has possibilities, but it also has pit falls.  No emotional or mental connection, just mindless, heated, passionate…sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. 

Dating:  I never thought I would be in my 40s and dating.  I don’t like the term on general principal alone.  It makes me think of awkward silences at a restaurant.  Silverware clinking on china while we try to come up with “safe” topics of conversation.  Ughhh. 

Hangout Partner:  That would be cool.  If I could find someone who liked the things that I liked, I could see myself spending time with them.  Someone I could call up and say, “There’s a Godfather marathon on.  Let’s get together.”  I could really go for that. 

Friendship:  This is the one that I get stuck on every time.  This is what I seem to miss most.  I miss having someone I can call up and say, “I’ve had a crappy day and I just need to vent.   You don’t need to respond or offer advice…just let me talk and say these things out loud.”  I can’t do that with my female friends without them telling me what they think or giving their two cents. 

Pen Pal:  That would be fantastic if I were a reliable pen pal.  This option for me falls above dating but below hangout partner. 

Analysis completed.  I’m looking for a (in rank order) Friendship, Hangout Partner, Pen Pal, or Casual Intimate relationship.  I’m not interested in Dating or a Long Term/Serious Relationship or Marriage. 

Is there anyone out there that fits that bill?  I wonder if I have to update my profile again.

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Posted on Oct 04, 2012 at 06:46 PM Total posts: 8

Day 2

Today is a Pinot Noir kind of day.  Dark, silky, smooth, subtle.   It was definitely a deep red lipstick feeling.  Etta James is singing “I Just Want to Make Love to You” with enough grit to keep my imagination flowing.   Profound thoughts with absolutely no meaning….Yeah that kind of day.

I updated my profile. Nothing still doesn't reflect who I am, but how much do you expect to learn about someone from a few hastily written sentences?  Am I the only one out there that feels that way?  I’ll have to keep working on it.