Does anyone actually read and understand profiles? Romance Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 06, 2005 at 09:01 PM

    First and foremost before we start this topic, I want to apologize to the people that have either written to me and I haven't written back or have just personally snubbed. I'm right now, in the middle of finishing up the second issue of the comic book I'm working on. I Love to do this because I finally get to voice my opinion. Does ANYONE read the profiles and requirements? Is it too much to ask? I had someone write to me for a while before realizing that she didn't read the rest of my profile. Granted, it is a bit raunchy and I'm very honest about what I want but it seems lately that NOBODY reads. I am not going to change who I am. I am a very sexual person. I'm also getting annoyed with people who don't have pics in their profiles. I understand that sometimes people are a little gunshy but now its getting a little out of control. What do you think? Do you think that people should read the profiles a bit better and read between the lines? Do you think people should have pics in their profiles? Email me anytime with your comments.
    Hope to hear from you.
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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 10, 2005 at 04:19 PM

    Oh Mary! I wish I was as well spoken as you are.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 08, 2005 at 09:47 AM


    Whether or not you are a sexual person doesn't matter if what you say you are looking for isn't the truth. I'm not suggesting it's how you've presented yourself, but many people join dating sites saying they want to 'date' but are really just looking for a booty call or one time fling.

    And you said it best: 'buyer beware'. I've always believed you need to ask questions, but when the topic seems to drift to purely physical relations almost immmediately I find myself pulling back and questioning the motivation of the person trying to get to 'know' me.

    Most folks have had or will have sexual relations, but when I am looking to specifically DATE someone, I'm less inclined to care what his sexual preferences are, but would rather know if he is family orientated, believes having a job is important, doesn't mind a woman who will split the bill or pay for the whole thing, and shows some sense of character and mental stability.

    I also agree, that it would be nice if folks had photos on their profiles. Considering how easy it is to get pictures downloaded onto a cd, I can't fathom why every member doesn't have a picture. Sometimes I think it means the person is HIDING something, which also goes along with very sketchy profiles by both men and women.

    I'm back to just being a basic member again because I found NO difference paying to see whose winked at me, or whose interested in me, or the fact I've been viewed a few hundred times. None of it helped me find someone to chat with and get to know any better.

    I've CLEARLY stated what I'm looking for and who I'm looking for in order to DATE! I have no objection to making friends, but the biggest reason I joined this site was to hopefully meet a potential dating partner. And though it's flattering to know many users and some of the same users felt compelled to view my profile, of the 20 or so men who've winked me, most didn't have pictures and still more didn't even live remotely close to where I am...
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 07, 2005 at 09:33 PM

    One person has mentioned that I have peppered my profile with sexual overtones. That's true. I have, but I'm also saying that I'm a sexual person. Why is it that when women read the profile, they suddenly feel insulted or they have missed something in the profile and therefore feel misled? C'mon people.... take some precautions... ask questions... it's not going to hurt you. If you don't like what you read, move on to another profile. BUT... ask questions first. How many times I've read on a post or message board to look out for someone because he wasn't what he said he was? All I'm saying is "Buyer Beware". With me, what you see is what you get. If you have any comments, post them here or contact me anytime. Hope to hear from you.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 07, 2005 at 05:33 PM

    Well, I certainly agree that it helps everyone to be on the same page when both parties are informed of eachothers profile. Sometimes it can seem like a waste of time, but I guess it all depends.

    Btw..I'm coming to NY on business in May! :)
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 07, 2005 at 02:01 PM

    I read your profile and I don't think that it is raunchy at all. Anyone who responds to you, knows exactly what you are like and what you are looking for. But I don't understand what you are annoyed about, because you are inviting both men and women to e-mail you just to make friends. And I give you credit for being so open.

    I will agree with you that it is a bit unfair that some people don't have pics, but what I find more irritating is when someone doesn't give much info in their profile.
    When I was looking, I was very disappointed to see so many people--usually men-- have either one sentence about himself, or worse, the words "no preference" in the portion of the profile that allows you to write freely. Those kind of profiles were always a turn off. In my opinion, a profile that lacks a pic, but contains lots of detail about what a man wants and what he is looking for beats a profile that contains the most georgeous male in the world but lacks alot of detail.

    Just my two cents worth!
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 07, 2005 at 10:41 AM

    Hi Marvel - I read through your profile and while I think it's great, the issue just might be that you've peppered the sexual hints throughout your writing which makes the rest of your words feel, I don't know, less sincere somehow.

    I don't mean to upset ya, but since you asked... You've got to remember that a lot of bbw's have encountered men who are users, liars and abusers. Just reading though the postings here I've learned that. So if you say that you're looking for something more serious, but start asking questions about sex right away, it comes off as pervy.

    I totally get that in your profile you're looking for something 'real' and open. And while sex is certainly important, it's tough to trust someone who asks for your cup size and favorite positions after a coupe emails! ;-)

    Anyhow - on to your other questions: Yes, I think that a photo is essential. I have a hard time responding to winks / emails without a photo. If something sparks my interest in a profile without a photo, I'll ask for one. But typically, I do not even bother. And yes, I also read the entire profile - it's important to me. You learn to read into the cues that men give in their words - meaning you can tell (most of the time) if someone is just looking for some "bbw fun" vs. making an honest stab at finding someone to date and get to know.

    So - separately - how far from NYC are you?

    - Curvy
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