To Cut, or not to Cut... thats the question??? Friendship Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Feb 08, 2005 at 07:01 AM

    Okay... here's a question.

    Some of you know that my mother is fighting Cancer and has been very ill. Her hair used to be as long as mine is (able to sit on it), but she is now bald. She's not the type to wear wigs, so she proudly displays her chrome dome. I have however noticed her silent and hidden stares at my hair.
    I'm seriously thinking about cutting 30 inches off of mine, leaving my hair at my shoulder blades. I would donate it to "lock's of love" to be used. My struggle is this... I really like my long hair, but feel like I would be helping in some small way by doing this. I need a few more opinions before I go chop chop chopping it off.
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  • View author's info Posted on Mar 30, 2005 at 10:59 AM

    That is so wonderful i say cut it. i have had alot of faimly members with cancer and it has been very hard. i will keep your mother in my thoughts and prayers. if you don't mind me asking what is her name?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 17, 2005 at 01:43 PM

    Toketee, you have inspired me to do the day!

    I have a lot of hair to grow before I can cut enough off to give it away.

    However, I have started to encourage my sister, who's hair rivals the length of yours, to donate hers!

    What an amazing thign to do! You rock!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 17, 2005 at 06:15 AM

    Well... I sat down and had a long talk with my mother about her hair... who NOW has peach fuzz again, by the way... and she is soooo proud of it !!! I wont go through our whole conversation, so to make a long story short... I did cut my hair.. but I only took 6 inches off the length, leaving my hair at my waist. She's happy, I'm happy, and we decided that when her's gets to a decent length we'd go in together and get our hair cut and styled. Thanks everyone for your input and support. *HUGS*
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 16, 2005 at 04:29 AM

    Hey full of soul, that was perfect and well said.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 13, 2005 at 06:48 AM

    Ooops a little longer and more serious than i wanted - i hope u understand what i mean.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 13, 2005 at 06:38 AM

    My best friends mother died 8mths ago from cancer. While she was having treatment she lost her hair, and having already lost her breast she was struggling with trying to like her body.
    She was a shopaholic but shopping was no longer something she liked to do - clothes didnt look right, or sit correctly over her breast area (so she felt) and she became very self concious. When she began to lose her hair she went through stages of being ok with it and then not. On one particular day she came to our house with clippers and asked us to just shave her head - when she removed her head scarf she had a few lumps of hair left and she said she didnt feel like a woman and wanted to look like a man instead.

    A few days later we went to a hospital appointment with her, and we got her a wig!!!!! The shopaholic was back :o)

    Over the following 3 weeks she got a further 4 more. Her confidence returned. She (Pat) was still very sick, and we were told she had weeks to live, but this was the happiest time for her. Pat was constantly saying how she felt great, and sexy and attractive. Her whole persona changed and was positive.

    For me this was wonderful, its how i remember her, smiling, happy and feeling 'whole' again.

    Many of you say - Do it do it, its just hair - it will grow back.....

    ..... sure ur rite to an extent but i think we feel this way as our hair is safely on our heads! ( i hope!)

    So, toke, go with your heart......
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 12, 2005 at 08:33 PM

    Hey toke girl, all I can do is applaude you for what you are doing. Give my best to your mom. and keep being strong as I know you are.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 10, 2005 at 07:03 PM

    Your hair to you is just hair. To someone battling cancer it is a new outlook on life, A chance to look like each and everyone of us. Your hair will grown back more beautiful then before.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 10, 2005 at 12:21 PM

    this type of decesion comes from within, so sit in a quite room and listen to your heart. The answer is there.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 10, 2005 at 06:02 AM

    *wipes a tear from her eyes*

    You guys are super... I knew you'd make the decision easy for me. I posted pics of my hair in my profile... I'll post another pict as soon as I cut it.

    Thank You !
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 09, 2005 at 09:50 PM

    Toketee, I really understand where you are coming from. I lost my mom to cancer a few years ago after caring for her throughout the ordeal. Losing her hair was tough for her and me.

    I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you this. If you choose to cut your hair and donate it to locks of love, you will at the very least give someone who feels unattractive some of your physical beauty. However, more importantly, you will show your mother in a very concrete way how much you love her and how much you want to walk with her during her journey. My suggestion is that you talk to your mother and see what she thinks about your idea. Then, decide for yourself if this is the right gift of love to give her and the others who would receive your hair. If it is, you will feel absolutely wonderful afterward, and the funny thing is, hair grows back. Just like the real, honest, unconditional love you have for your mother. Perhaps that is why you feel the urge to do this. If you do decide to, you might even choose to get sponsors to donate cash, time, or their own hair as well, with the proceeds going to benefit research, a local hospice or some other good relevant cause. Who knows? Some of us here at LF may be inspired and follow your lead and do the same! Whatever your choice is, I'm sure it will be the right one.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 09, 2005 at 09:22 PM

    Dear T,

    I feel kind of sad about your mom, and I believe it has to be very hard for her and you too. (btw: i prayed for your mom based on a posting you did sometime ago). It is ok if she don't want to wear a wig. Of course that if I was on her shoes I would feel like staring at long hair that I once had.
    The fact that you would donate your hair is a beautiful gesture, it takes a real desire to do that, you know what?.. if you do cut it, it will grow back!.. isn't that great?.. you can not only get your hair back, but anothe chance to donate more.
    I had a friend who worked in a hospital here in Jersey, and he purposelly grew his hair for 6 years just to donate it, i told him he must have been crazy... we need more nuts like you I added.

    8>< (scissors for you)

    ps: you have to make the desicion sweetie. Good Luck!

    pps: dont forget to post a before & after pic (hehehe)
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 09, 2005 at 03:13 PM

    It grows back! It grows back! The real beauty of hair is that it grows back! This sounds like something that you will feel great about doing, and will regret if you don't.

    You're so lucky to have so much gorgeous hair and it's really wonderful for you to think of sharing it. Plus, imagine how great you will feel with a new look!! You might be really surprised how much you like having shorter hair.

    Good luck with you decision!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 09, 2005 at 11:07 AM

    WOW..what an incredibly generous thing to consider doing.

    I know people think Hair is just..well hair...but having grown it as long as yours there is the attachment you get...feels almost like considering cutting off a much loved appendage..

    Consider this however, Cutting it for such a purpose and showing such a generosity of spirit..can only make you feel incredibly great about yourself...+ you get the added bonus of knowing you're helping someone else with their self image who is going through a rough time...

    Where as right now the only one it gives any pleasure to is you...Since you're already thinking about doing it..I don't think you'd feel good not doing it now..this means not cutting it will benefit no one at this point...

    I say GO FOR your flirty new shorter look with pride knowing what you've contributed..and hold your head high...

    Which you'll be able to do cause it will be incredibly lighter...
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