I have a very good friend who after a dry spell in dating was introduced to a man that a good friend thought would be a good "prospect" (for lack of a better word), for her. My friend said that he seemed very nice, was very good looking, a professional making very good money and seemed to be a gentleman. This man was also someone that a highly regarded friend told her was a good guy and a "nice catch".
Now my friend is a very attractive professional woman,--(the kind of attractive that men stare at and make heads turn when she passes by), who looks at least ten years younger than her age of 38. She is intelligent, never been married, no kids, is very responsible and a very kind and loving person. She is the kind of person who has never met a stranger as she is very friendly and has a very effervescent personality. This friend told me that the night that she met this man, she tossed and turned all night because she could not understand why she was not attracted to the gentleman that she met earlier that day. After pondering on it, she finally realized that she was not attracted to him because he did not "wow" her. "Wow" her means that when she met this man she did not feel a spark.
I did not know what to say to her at the time except that I did not think that she was really attracted to him and that it was ok. He probably is not the man for her. Now that I think about it, I wonder if at the age of 38 anyone can be "wowed" by someone at an initial meeting. The last time that I was instantly "wowed" by someone was when I was in my early 20's. Maybe even earlier.
I guess that what I want to know is if it is realistic to expect someone to "wow" you at a first meeting when you are over the age of 35? What is your opinion on this? Is she asking for too much?
Ok, considering only one guy responded to this, let me be the second. Deaffy is right, you all love the mans perspective...;).
here goes, my answer is yes, at 38 and no kids, responsible, etc..you can most definetly feel that "wow". Anyone can. Is she asking for to much? Absolutely not. I have said this many times, Attraction is not a choice. You cant choose who your attracted to. You either feel it or you dont. Attraction i think is somewhat of mystery only because that it can happen anytime. Its a very unpredictable feeling. But again, its not a choice we have.
As with jjiggl's post, he may have been to nice and not enough bad boy in him. Women are very attracted to the bad boy image but they also want the nice guy image as well. Now if he had the charisma and humor along with all of what i just stated, then the story would have turned out way different. Thats gunpowder for attraction! Why do you think elvis was so popular with women? It wasnt the fame or fortune.
And one more thing and fellas its the gods honest truth, women are extremely smart when it comes to spotting someone being fake, way more than men. So be real and honest but most importantly be yourself! And turn up that volume, i know you guys got it in you.
"[...] wow for me seems to be somewhere out there, more of a female thing?"
I really, truly hate to think that anyone out there can never (or as I believe: will never allow themselves) to feel that "wow" for another person. If you are open to the chemistry, leave that brick wall you hide your emotions behind at home, be open for a new, exciting experience and are with the right person at the right time of your life, I very sincerely believe that everyone can feel that "wow" factor.
I felt a "WOW" a couple of months ago. Met a guy from another BBW site and he swept me off my feet. We spent a couple of weekends together and I hadn't felt so good and young and vibrant and beautiful. It was a magical experience to say the least (for me anyway). We are not seeing eachother now, but it was wonderful while it lasted!
Oh goody, I'll be the only male to chime in thus far. And of course, you ladies really wanted the guy's perspective, right? :)
My take: I think one can be "wowed" at a first meeting, but the tendency is more towards deciding that the other person isn't for you, either relationship-wise or in any capacity. That might come in part from someone being different from their online or phone persona, there wasn't total honesty upfront by some party, or that you+they lack that indefinable chemistry. If it isn't there, it isn't there. (great observation, I know)
In other words, don't count on being wowed. But trust your instincts if this person doesn't seem compatible with you. If you're on the fence, maybe give it another go and see what develops.
The idea of being "wowed is nice, but could be a bit unrealistic. And, I think with age and experience the likelihood decreases substantially. Those that get hit with it, more power to you and the best of luck.
Thanks to everyone that responded. I tend to feel like "bluegirl" on this topic. I haven't felt "WOW!" when first meeting a new man. I did feel it when I first met my "honey", but that was after we had talked for about a month before I met him.
Anyway, I am glad that there are people who are not as jaded as I and can still feel the elation of "WOW!" the first time that they become aware of the existence of that person.
nooooooooo, i was wowed like never before when i first met my man in the flesh and 14 months later i still am every time he walks through the door.
when he gazes at me with his twinkly grey eyes and hugs me i still melt.
it's well worth the wait lol
I'd like to think there is no age limit on feeling a bit of "wow" as you put it.
I think as we get older our expectations change a little .... and possibly we are less influenced by looks .... for me the "wow" might come from a gesture, a smile, or simply feeling that there was a connection with a guy, with plenty of spirited conversation.
If that's meant to all disappear after your 20s ... well I might as well just join a convent!!