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Can anyone explain why?
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Posted on Wed, Apr 26, 2006 03:58

Can anyone explain why some men do the things they do? You meet someone you think is a nice person and your talking and get along fine and then BAM!!!! they are gone. Why can't a man just say ya know its just not working out and I think I am moving on. I am wondering if its worth all this trouble and pain that I go through. I just want to meet someone to love and love me back, is that really asking a lot? Maybe its my destiny to be alone I don't know. I go to work everyday and come home every night and I go through the motions and sometimes I just wonder why, whats the point.

  


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Posted on Thu, Nov 16, 2006 12:23

During the past 6 years, the large majority of ladies I've got to know online, simply disappeared at some stage. This includes fairly long running friendships. In the few cases where I eventually discovered what had happened, they had found a new boyfriend, but not said anything (such as "goodbye"!).

I do know of one instance caused by an e-mail failing to get through, but doubt if that is the cause of many lost online friends?

If I don't think a friendship is going to work, I send a polite message. A couple of times, the ladies concerned went bananas and got a tad abusive, but that's always a slight risk!

About half the ladies I arranged to meet (whether or not from the internet) failed to turn up.

It must be my great charm that wins them all over :)



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Posted on Sat, Aug 26, 2006 17:28

I find myself with that same dilemma you talk to a nice guy and he goes stealth! I stop getting upset and figured it was better to know now and realize he was not a REAL man to begin with!!!!! I have more respect for a man who just put it out there, even if he is not what I want at least he is honest about what he is and wants. These so called triflin punk men really get my goat. You have the jewels but can't wear them then let me wear them as earrings then! Step aside and bring on the real men!



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Posted on Sat, Aug 26, 2006 17:21

N60deglat write:
First off not that I'm here to defent the male as a whole. Some men have a hard time talking about feelings most women know this to some extent especially if they don't have any commitment to said lady. Sometimes it's easy or less pain full for a man to "drop the Axe". Not to mention alot of men are full of themselves.

P.S. I have noticed there are alot of people in LF that are from Australia. Wanted to say one of the best places I've went on vacation to. Beautiful city's, nice people, great food, nice weather, never got a hold on the driving.

I AM SORRY THAT IS THE PUNK ARSE WAY OF DOING THINGS. I SAY "BE A MAN ABOUT IT!" YOU GET MORE RESPECT THAT WAY!



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Posted on Fri, Aug 25, 2006 18:40

OK ya'll its not just us men. The same thing happened to me. I met this lady here we started talking, and talked on the phone many times in a three week peroid. I asked her if she wanted to meet since we got along so well. So not only did she not answer but she removed her profile. I am a big boy if you don't want to meet me in the real world just say so. the lady in question had no pic in her profile....maybe like so many men here she's married, or maybe that's just my ego talking. just know this ladies players come in both sexes.



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Posted on Wed, Aug 23, 2006 03:01

First off not that I'm here to defent the male as a whole. Some men have a hard time talking about feelings most women know this to some extent especially if they don't have any commitment to said lady. Sometimes it's easy or less pain full for a man to "drop the Axe". Not to mention alot of men are full of themselves.

P.S. I have noticed there are alot of people in LF that are from Australia. Wanted to say one of the best places I've went on vacation to. Beautiful city's, nice people, great food, nice weather, never got a hold on the driving.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 13, 2006 09:22

My theory on it all is, if your having issues with the site and problems such as someone you have chatted with like dishonesty, loyalty, etc then give up online dating. Probably not for you. We all put ourselves at risk for anything when it comes to being online. I just deal with it personaly. Thanks



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Posted on Fri, Aug 11, 2006 18:24

Match

No, having to tell us would mean the risk of tears or confrontation; two things the male of our species will do backflips to avoid.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 06, 2006 09:08

I have to admit.....I had something GREAT one time it was my first online thing..NEVER had something like it before in my life......I messed it up....I guess I was selfish and didn't know the online ediqette RULES.....it was my loss...I tried to apoligise and atleast get his friendship...BUT...nothing....I will never hear from him again.....but since that I've chated with a few others and I'm doing ok....still feel alittle guilty...but I put it in my past and I'm moving on....will I ever do an online thing like I did with him.....NEVER I will never go there again..I learned my lession well....and so its not men who do all the crapy things women do it too...me for one....if I had to do over again...I would have done things diffently.....so don't give up...move on there are others and others will love and adore you.....BB Jeanie



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Posted on Sat, Aug 05, 2006 23:59

The other thing I don't understand is when you meet a so-called 'gentleman' who talks very nicely to you and seems to be a really nice guy, and then one day-WHAM! Out comes all the sex talk. Sheesh, I don't want to talk about nothing but sex! Last time I looked the world was filled with a lot of rather interesting things to talk about than just sex.

And this cuts across all barriers of education, and everything. When I hear that "Hi, how are you doing?" and then, "What are you wearing?" I just about want to scream. I don't even know this person! I could see if we had been dating and we were temporarily separated, but sheesh!

Any other ladies feel like this? And why do these guys keep doing it?

Laura...still wondering



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Posted on Sat, Aug 05, 2006 23:57

The other thing I don't understand is when you meet a so-called 'gentleman' who talks very nicely to you and seems to be a really nice guy, and then one day-WHAM! Out comes all the sex talk. Sheesh, I don't want to talk about nothing but sex! Last time I looked the world was filled with a lot of rather interesting things to talk about than just sex.

And this cuts across all barriers of education, and everything. When I hear that "Hi, how are you doing?" and then, "What are you wearing?" I just about want to scream. I don't even know this person! I could see if we had been dating and we were temporarily separated, but sheesh!

Any other ladies feel like this? And why do these guys keep doing it?

Laura...still wondering



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Posted on Wed, Jul 12, 2006 14:06

Countrygirl! Do NOT allow a man's inability to be honest with you to slow you down or make you think you're not worthy of a meaningful relationship! I had the EXACT same thing happen to me with a gentleman I met on here, but I'm not letting it stop me. I look at it like this...I'd rather know now (before too much time or money is invested) that he's not willing to be honest or communicate his thoughts about a potential "relationship" with me than to get myself entangled in a marriage with a man who doesn't have the kahunas or doesn't respect me enough to treat me the way I should be treated. To me, it just shows me that he DEFINITELY was not what is meant for me. It doesn't mean we're not worth it or that we're destined to be alone at all...just that we are better than that and for all we know they realized they couldn't keep up with what wonderful things WE have to offer.

Not trying to sound like a male bashing session at all, but God did give men the "kahunas" not women, right?...so what's going on?...how's about growing a pair and being honest for once? Lack of communication/honesty is one of the main reasons men get the bad rap that they do in the dating world.

All I can say is ladies....if you want to be treated with dignity and respect...then set the bar for him. Lay down your expectations respectfully and with dignity, but be careful not to set the bar so high that you can't uphold the same expectations with yourself! It hurts to get a bruised ego no matter WHAT side you're on!



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Posted on Fri, May 19, 2006 01:55

Hello Country,

I have a friend who actually confided
in a "let you think you put him down
method." He shuts down, backs off and
eventually you will get tired of the
ceased communication relationship. In
reality, he just didn't want to hurt
his Female companion. He figured out
a sure way to get her to back off...
stop talking.

  


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Posted on Mon, May 08, 2006 15:14

I think it's just because we aren't taught proper manners while we're children. Or, in your case as a woman, could it be that the guy wants you to chase after him and beg his wonderful favors? (please don't get too sick, I'm just kidding about wonderful "favors"



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Posted on Thu, May 04, 2006 13:56

Way stoopid, Rock!! Thanks for the reply!! It would be so much better if folks were just honest!!! Not mean - you can be tactful - but honest especially if we're all supposed to be adult about all this!

It's sort of like taking off a band aid. If you take it off slow, it really, really, hurts but if you take it off very fast, it only hurts for a moment.

Go figure!

  


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Posted on Wed, May 03, 2006 08:21

A good (male) friend suggested that guys don't/won't/can't just say they aren't into a woman any more because they either don't want to hurt her, don't want her to hate him, or simply don't know how to say it!

I would certainly appreciate that kind of feedback - not saying I'd like it at the time, but it would be useful to know and might make it easier to move on. I'm sure it's the same for guys at times too - they just don't seem to need "closure" in the same way!



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Posted on Tue, May 02, 2006 22:22

this problem doesnt only happen with men. i have had the same problem with women that i have met too. sure wish that i could find the "right one" in my area..
sweet dreams ladies



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Posted on Mon, May 01, 2006 07:33

Sorry about your experience Match ...it just DOESNT make sense does it ...?? Like that stoopid James BLunt Song ... "goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one, you have been the one for me, you made me laugh u made me cry you had my kids or some crap .... well if she was ALL THAT ...WHY LEAVE HER !!!??? stoopid huh ....

  


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Posted on Sun, Apr 30, 2006 11:44

WOW Freya & Countrygirl! You both must have been looking over my shoulder or something!

I have only been doing this on line dating for a few months now.I met a great guy in December. We emailed & chatted almost constantly & have met face to face 3 times. I thought we were really clicking but lately he has been scarce. Then a couple of weeks ago, he says that he is "incredibly busy" at work &at church. He hasn't mentioned getting together again & he hasn't been available to chat. If I send him an email just wishing him a good weekend or something, he responds saying that he hopes that I do too & that he's still really busy.

When we met face to face, he was always a gentleman. We kissed some & hugged some but that was it. We always had a great time together laughing & talking. We had a lot of common interests. I want to ask him if he has decided to move on or if he really is THAT busy but deep down I think I'm afraid of what the answer is.

So what is it with guys?!?! If a guy is "not that into us", wouldn't that make it easier to tell us "goodbye"?

  


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Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 20:12

Country there is no explanation, other than MAYBE its a gene that the male species missed alltogether !!

  


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