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Don't step on the Ducks....
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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 14:17

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on . very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.


St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

  


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Posted on Tue, Jul 04, 2006 10:51

I love the duck joke it had me laughing so hard I was crying

  


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Posted on Thu, Apr 27, 2006 06:58

> > A young man called Nigel invited his mother round for dinner,
> during
>
> >the ?course of the meal his mother couldn't help but notice how
>
> >handsome Nigels flat mate was. She had long been suspicious of a
>relationship
>
> between the two men and this only made her more curious.
>
> >
>
> > Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,
> she
>
> > started to wonder if there was more between Nigel and his flatmate
>
> > than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts Nigel volunteered "I
>
> know what you ?must be thinking, but I assure you Simon and I are
>just flatmates.
>
> About a week later, Simon came to Nigel saying "Ever since your
>mother came
>
> to dinner ?Ive been unable to find the frying pan, you don't
> suppose
>
> she took it do ?you?"
>
> > "Well I doubt it, but I will email her to be sure" said
>
> Nigel. So he sat ?and wrote the following e-mail.
>
> >
>
> > DEAR MOTHER,
>
> >
>
> > I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE,
>I'M
>
> >NOT ?SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN,
>BUT THE FACT
>
> >REMAINS THAT ?IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR
>DINNER.
>
> >
>
> > LOVE
>
> >
>
> > Nigel
>
> >
>
> > Several days later, Nigel received an e-mail from his mother which
>
> >read:
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > DEAR SON,
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >
>
> > I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT
>
> SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS
> THAT
>
> IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING
>PAN
>BY
>NOW.
>
> >
>
> > LOVE MUM



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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 23:35

Brilliant!! Maybe I'll get a decent fella when I get to the Pearly Gates, lol... something to look forward to!

  


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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 16:09

LOL!!!!!!