I was out with a friend the other day and ordered an appetizer for a meal - which turned out to be bigger than most of their main courses though! - and They gave it my friend (guy) instead of me. We had to swap when the waiter left. I dont think this is a predjudice, just the predisposed idea that guys eat more. Well, they do and he ended up finishing it for me anyway. ;)
Veni - I see where you're coming from and I still am flabbergasted that people would do that to anyone, ever. Chin up.
(digs my heals into the dirt and comes to a screeeeetching halt after being drug through this post)
well heck, ya'll just com'on over ta my house and have yurself a martini-argarita-aquri-driver with a twist drinks wilst i throw sum doggies on the barbie and we can'll hve a good'le chuckle bout the eenglush langwigge.
Ya all are darlin's and have MORE than posted a various number of awsome and wonderful posts... soooooooo...
Either its that time of the month when all the women on LargeFriends are PMSing, or I need to share my perscription of Chill Pills, bought by my children from the Wonka Factory.
I just re-read everything I posted here. Every bit. It is plain that I asked for help on a problem I was experienceing.
My words were misconstrued.
I was insulted when one Jan63 called my topic trivial.
I was inspired to correct BiigBiird and Rockchick, because my words were being misconstrued and they insisted that the word frequent meant "often, or a lot". And I felt the only way for me to defend myself was to explain basic grammar fundamentals.
When I was explaining these fundamentals, I did not take a patronizing tone once. I wrote them out plainly. I did not add stuff like;any idiot would know that, or; a monkey knows that, or; hey, it's what you learned in the third grade, or any other such patronizing thing.
I did not patronize anyone here, and I am offended at the implication.
As a matter of fact, I was the one who was being patronized too.
You all wrote to me:
"Hence my assumption it was a light hearted comment (which frankly this forum needs more of before a few people start disappearing up their own rear ends!!)"
"I apologise if my reply embarrassed you but I can't see that stopping you from posting nor to replying to others in your usual self-assured and confident manner."
"I think the truest word you use in your post is PATRONISE. Restaurants or otherwise, I think you should get out more"
"and VV reckons she can't find the right words to complain about food portion size in the restaurants she frequents, frequently on a frequent or not so frequent basis"
"If you read my post properly you'll see I am mocking the patronising lecturing you are doing of the English Language. Have a nice day"
OOOOOOKKKKKK .... ummmm seems I have just been lectured myself (cant say the homo thing made much sense to me though, call it ignorance dunno but thanks for the explanatation ven) ... but I still think I need to keep my mouth shut on this one .... thanks Biig and Jan for understanding where I was coming from ...
I don't mind laughing at myself, and in case you were all wondering, yes I do have a sense of humor, and a life...
But Jan63. You are still mocking me for complaining about food portion size. I find that insulting.
BiigBiird: I know you're just kidding around, but in my defense,I do get out. I get out and mingle, and learn, and experience life just like all of you. I didn't learn all this stuff from sitting around at home twiddling my thumbs.
I't just that I was sensitive about Jan63 insinuating that my topic was trivial.
I just needed some help because I was singled out in restaurants for being FAT! That is why we come here, to a fat-friendly forum, to get ideas on how to cope with the our troubles, no matter how significant.
As Always, humor is a great way to diffuse the pain...and so I laugh with you all.
BigBird.,unfortunately ...Rockchick is not correct in this instance and neither are you.
The way in which words relate to one another, or are physically positioned in a sentence , phrase or clause denotes the meaning behind the words. And if the word is a homograph, as I explained, (of which the word frequent IS), you then know ahead of time that you need to pay close attention to the sentence structure.
I agree that the word frequent is a verb, but is also a homograph, and spelled the same way it has two meanings.
In order to understand the meanings behind words, you need to know the many synonyms of various HOMOGRAPHS! Then you can glean the correct synonym for those words to understand the aspect of the verb in relation to the sentence structure.
Here is an example.
Substitute the word frequent for the word "often" (as you know it can mean)which is also a synonym for frequent. Substitute it in my sentence and you will see your meaning of frequent does not work.
Your way: the restaurants I "often".
My way : the restaurants I go to.
the restaurants I patronize.
the restaurants I support.
the restaurants I stand by.
Thank you so much HappyHelena...You have been very helpful.
I honestly did experience this problem. And it wasn't just underserved portions, it was blatant smaller than my dinner guests smaller by a mile portions. (my dinner guests noticed it before I did).
I will have a hard time complaining,out of sheer anxiety, due to what my friends in the retaurant business have told me. The stuff that goes on behind the doors of the kitchen are scary. The waitstaff takes an order, and goes back into the kitchen and comments aloud about a customer out front being rude, or picky, and the kitchen staff has a good laugh, and sometimes they or the waitstaff intentionally sabotage peoples food. (I won't go into detail how, and it's not gross enough to kill anyone, but still pretty gross stuff).
These restaurants I go are very basic, common ones. Affordable ones. Fr*days, D*nny's, and S*zzler. I guess I will have to just put up with it, or stop going out altogether.
Hello VeniVici. I have never joined in one of these discussions before but I saw your post and felt compelled to make a comment. I am in the catering business myself you see. The behaviour you speak of is absolutely outrageous, (and is probably a sackable offence in most restaurants) I would complain if I were you, and to the manager, not the idiot who dares to mock you. Generally if there is any prejudice at all in food establishments, in my experience i would say it is the other way round. Certainly there is nothing better for a chef than to see people enjoying and appreciating their food, clearing plates, and asking for more. I dont see my customers looks, shape or size at all, I only notice politeness, whether or not they have enjoyed their food and are likely to a) return, and b) spread the word to others. Usually larger eaters (whatever size they may be) are the best customers by far. If you wish to carry on frequenting these places you speak of, then I say hold your head high and order whatever you like, and if anyone tries to under serve you, then just politely but firmly ask for a full portion. You dont have to explain or account for your actions to anyone. Good luck!
Perhaps you can't see that your comments might not stop me from posting nor to replying to others in my usual self-assured and confident manner.", but know that I expressed that I felt maligned to the point that I considered not expressing my personal"woes" here.
I said it, I meant it.
Of course I will still write here, comment here, express myself here in other posts. But it would seem that I may hesitate to put my insecurities out on the table for someone to come along (in an open forum)to go ahead and call them trivial.
I apologise if my reply embarrassed you but I can't see that stopping you from posting nor to replying to others in your usual self-assured and confident manner.
In my opinion if the biggest 'lack of self-confidence' issue you have at the moment is the portion size at the restaurants you frequent, a problem no-one else appears to have encountered to date, then perhaps you should think yourself lucky and count your blessings.
There is nothing more annoying than to be treated differently for being large, opposed to those who are thin. Whether if be a clothing store that a clerk says 'sorry, I doubt we have anything in your size', or a restaurant that cheats you on portions because they think you 'need less'.
In a large number of cases, a fat persons stomach is no larger or smaller than a thin person. Taking the same amount of food to make us 'full'. Why would anyone assume that because we are larger that we would not want a regular portion?
Its a stereotype that all fat people eat like pigs and really should cut down on their consumption.
First of all, who are they to make that decision for us? Secondly, we are not all pigs!
Veni, my suggestion to you would be to v e r y sweetly, at the time you place your order, to compliment the wait person in some way, then toss in a "oh, by the way, the last time I was in my dinner portions were significantly smaller than my dinner guest. If the entree of choice is nearly gone, could you please let me know as I would like to order something different."
In this manner, you have befriended the wait person and put them on your side by the compliment. By saying the stock is low, you are taking any possible blame away from the staff, leaving them with no reason to feel vindictive in your request.
Just my two and a half cents worth. *smile*
Hope things get better for you!
I do appreciate your varying inputs. I will take them into consideration. I realize that although no one in her eso far has experienced this before, I appreciate that you guys took the time out to respond in here and give me some advice.