Guys need to git a spine, some guts, bravery... DATING

  • View author's info posted on Jan 17, 2007 13:18

    Well I think I am decently attractive and I have yet to have a girl ask me out....should I post a thread and tell girls to grow a spine and go after what they want?

    I am shy, I am outgoing, talkative etc...but if I see a BBW in the store that I am attracted to I start the "what if she's got a boyfriend, what if she's not into me" etc..

    Public humiliation is one thing, rejection another on top of that, hit to the ego another

    I could be an act like my crap doesnt stink and approach a girl --- but I feel thats what players do and most women dont like that --- on the other hand I cant figure out why a BBW wouldnt approach me

    60% of America is larger than they are "supposed" to be and those odds increase my chances of finding a BBW yet not one has ever approached me in all my life

    The ones who I have built up enough guts to approach said they never thought I was into them etc...

    I make it clear that I like larger women. I get teased a bit by other guys and my good friends always used it as a "oh he wouldnt like her, shes not big enough for him" line at clubs and stuff but I became comfortable letting people know what I like

    There should be no reason why they dont approach me if they halfway know me....but I think it will be years before I ever get approached by a BBW in public thats a pure stranger

    And dont get me started on compliments --- do women ever compliment a guy who is a complete strager, reverse the tables for a second before blasting the guys, we are human too

    Your a beautiful girl and I would have trouble approaching you myself....and I have plenty of confidence but I am still human
  • 13Comments

  • View author's info posted on Jan 14, 2007 11:57

    It's a mix of a feeling of approachablity and confidence which can be a hard combination to work up for a guy.

    We at least in my experience either stratigize or JUST ask them out and strategy can sometimes be a double edged sword for us cause we second guess ourselves

    I don't know, it seems like to me that more guys are getting more balls up to ask out girls nowadays or at least seems that way to me
  • View author's info posted on Jan 13, 2007 18:43

    I think u should think about what type of vibes you put out there cause u are really pretty ( Out of most guys league or so they think) and like another guy said the prettier the woman the harder she is to ask out. Maybe a little sign that u are approachable would help( a smile)

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  • View author's info posted on Dec 26, 2006 20:11

    If a person is looking for their perfect person they shouldn't be a certian size. People come in all shapes and sizes , not everyone is perfect. Not worry about people think. be yourself.
  • View author's info posted on Dec 18, 2006 01:51

    Okay just felt the need to comment. I get asked out by men and at least twice in my life I have been the one doing the asking. Both of those times I was told that they had been waiting for the right time to ask and both were glad I had done the asking.One relationship lasted for 5 years the other 2 so does it really matter who asks first ? I feel that if your interested you should let it be known, don't wait for what is percieved to be the socially accepted norm of the time. Dance to your own drummer and just do what feels right , otherwise you might miss some great opportunities and fun.
  • View author's info posted on Jun 20, 2006 06:08

    I don't know about other guys, but many years of humiliating rejection when I was younger pretty much wrecked my self esteem for asking anyone out.. I was a big kid.. and unpopular.. so I had many public knockbacks of the "I woulnd't even spit on someone like you" variety..

    I literally battle with myself while standing there on a dance floor trying to get myself to ask the "girl standing on the side of the dancefloor all alone obviously wanting a dance" for a dance.. my logical side telling me to stop being stupid and ask her to dance.. while my long seated neurosis side comes up with reasons not to..

    Childhood issues like this are VERY hard to overcome.. and I think that other than the "popular" kids.... many others went through this kind of treatement, especially if you were bigger.

    I often just wish I could have the power to know what the other women is thinking... just for a minute.... just so I could know if she was vaguely interested, or totally disgusted.. just to give me a little glimmer of confidance to go the next step..
  • View author's info posted on Jun 06, 2006 15:07

    I must say this is a very interesting thread. I consider myself from the old skool the only way you were going to get a date is ASK. I find it hard to believe that so many men are afraid of the word NO. When i was younger I remember my Uncle telling me that Woman out number Men 7 to 1, now that was in the late 80's and early 90's. I'm sure that the ratio has changed.

    Come on guys, I'm not saying become arrogant A**holes, but have confidence in yourself and enjoy every opportunity that comes your way. You only live once. So live life to the fullest. Smile and say hello to every beautiful woman you come across, be a gentleman, I guarantee the benefits are great.

    Just my 2 Cents
  • View author's info posted on Jun 05, 2006 17:34

    Well I
    m a stupid wimp, lol. Fear of rejection. Especially if you look like me your, confidence gets sapped. Tigress I would never approach a woman with your looks, your beautiful. Most guys find that intimidating.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 26, 2006 09:58

    Well done gave the reasons why you don't get asked out....none having anything to do with men being gutless or spineless wimps!
  • View author's info posted on Apr 25, 2006 15:24

    well hello Tigress!! i am a shy person and i think everyone is that way to an extent. i dont get asked out too much either but i sure do ask plenty. so, i get turned down more times than you can count on your fingers and toes. i am not a bad looking person and would consider myself average. if we are ever able to talk i would ask you right out. i would say, "Tigres, lets go out some time. i want to show you how a lady is to be treated and adored. i think your awesomely pretty and a man is a fool not to take a chance with you."
    now, i would say more but i wanted you to at least smile as to what i said. i've seen many woman and you are who i write. i very much do like what i see in the picture. lock, stock and barrel! i think we can make a date.. all up to you! then i think i could make another and keep on.. there are people out there who care.. i am one. my name is greenbarry33 and i would love to get a reply from you.. (even if it is stfu) remember, the sky is only the beginning.. space is the limit!!
    well i have to go back and finish Ymail.. have a good day/night.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 20, 2006 10:45

    I disagree, Sir. Im with tigeress, I've asked guys out but I've never been asked out, or had a sober and decent guy make a move on me. My guy friends complain more about how they cant ask someone out for fear of xyz 100% more than my girlfriends do. Society is changing, and suddenly women take the reins a bit more often as well. Im not saying theryre cowardly but I dont think theres anything wrong with Tigeress' character.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 19, 2006 06:29

    If a guy posted something similar to this asking why noone would go out with him, I am sure there would be a great deal of advice telling him that he is doing something wrong.

    Tigress, I can't give you the reason why noone will ask you out since I don't know you, but I assure you it has nothing to do with guts or bravery. I hope you take this constructively but it is most likely something you are doing wrong. Instead of ranting on about how spineless men are you may want to take a closer look at yourself and ask yourself the same question. If you're able to answer it without denial, you may be on your way to correcting the character flaws we all have that may prevent the opposite sex from finding us desirable.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 15, 2006 03:39

    I'm calling BS on you. Never been asked out in my life. But i'm shy, so I sit and talk with you for a while, take you off guard, then ask you out.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 11, 2006 05:58

    I've never been asked out either, and I know what you mean about the booty-call attention only. Or the smack-heads who for some reason think that I'm that stupid/insane/ick. I don't really get it either. I think, that despite not being entirely happy with my appearance or weight, that I'm still on average better looking and better tempered than many of the girls I see in happy (and not so happy) relationships. the guys always say no no, you're attractive, but then put them on the spot about why noone's asking they havent a clue in the world.
    I've also never had a guy make a move on me (with the aforementioned exceptions and now including desperate drunks) which is starting to bother me.
    In short, Tigress, I'm just as clueless and frustrated as you are :P
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