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Growing old
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Posted on Wed, Mar 29, 2006 17:03

OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee. If you're under 50, this may be amusing. If you're over 50, this is probably reality



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Posted on Thu, Mar 30, 2006 10:37

THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST!
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot screw
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks
No sense of smell, I look like hell
My body's drooping, I got trouble pooping
The golden years have come at last



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Posted on Thu, Mar 30, 2006 10:35

BULLETIN!
Seniors are the nations leading carriers of aids:
Hearing aids
band aids
rolaids
walking aids
medical aids
government aids
Most of all, monetary aid to their children!



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