A kind of brown shrivelled fruit .... with a hard stone in the middle
ROFL I enjoyed that. Thanks :0)
But seriously, on a first date you want to find out if there is chemistry between you. You should both be making an effort and that means being positive.
I don't want to hear anything more than a passing reference to his ex, or about his pain-in-the-a**e boss or his money problems. That is unless he has something to say which is genuinely funny or heart-warming.
If the subject turns to sex, you each need to gauge the other person?s reaction. If you?re going to get down to intimate details, you?ve got to be sure not only that they feel comfortable talking about it on the first date too, but also that they are attracted to you.
1. "I love you"
2. "You'd look so much better if you lost some weight"
3. "I have Herpes"
4. "I'm Batman"
5. "I want to do your mom/sister/aunt/grandma"
6. "I have a criminal record longer than my arm."
7. "I loved Battlefield Earth"
8. "I was Napoleon in a previous life"
9. "I was born a woman/man"
Never ask a women to pay for her half on the first date. Oh yeah never say dang baby you got those child bearing hips........Oh and my favorite you got something on your lips and you say really and they say yeah me lol lame
Any kind of joke that may revolve around dead babies (how many does it take to do such and such?) , gender (how do you tell a woman such and such) Race, or anything else that is somewhat controversial or potentially offensive. Shows a real lack of maturity, respect, and real wit, and is a real turn off!
Hmmmmm..... based on past experiences, below are just a few topics
Criminal history and/or your parole officer, anything to do with the size, shape or other aspects of your manhood, your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend and how good she was (or still is!) in bed, bodily functions and how much you enjoy them, the phase in college where you "experimented" with your male roommate and or/ the thousands of dollars you have "borrowed" from your employer, whether your date swallows and is going to do so that evening, and so on.......
First dates should be light and friendly. keep it fun, and not too serious. If your friends don't know something about you--is it something you should share with a date you just met?
However, that being said....If you do have a MAJOR skeleton in the closet like 14 ex-wifes, wearing an ankle bracelet as a condition of your parole or wearing little hats and yelling salutes at intimate moments like mentioned above, it is better to reveal it sooner than later.
If you truthfully want this potential relationship to succeed, be honest and fess up early. The road may be a little bumpier, but the journey will be smoother in the long run and you might just get headed down the path you were looking for.
"Oh I'm having a great time..By the way do you.. Know a good cream for such and such..It's been itching me all night"..LoL..And then you gota love the ones who.. Become overly clingy and say stuff like.. We can do this or that on the next date..With out even asking you if.. You care to have the next date..LoL..And I'm sorry but any I love yous or talk of marriage on the 1st date is def creepy..
What amounts to I want to git married and have children... do you want to be the one. Come on it's the first date, let me git to know you before you start daydreaming visions of little girls that look like me in your head. All you have to say is your not in the dating seen to play around and one day want to settle down. You shouldn't imply that a woman you barely know is the one!
Joking aside, a lot of people make the mistake of allowing lust and desire to cloud their judgement and they often say things like "Marry Me" "Lets Make Babies" "Lets go on holiday together" "I love you"
my ex-girlfriend used to wear her hair like that....i hated it...how much do you weigh? (are u planning to carry me home)...pass wind at the table..it is NOT attractive or funny....MARRY ME...i'll run screaming to the hills ...you know lil things like that
Bubs, I always LOOK under the bed!
Really though, don't mention digestive problems or health matters that are on a need to know basis. If you are headed to the sack(bed over here), doubtless any communicables NEED to be discussed. But if Broccoli races through you faster than Sea Biscuit at Santa Anita in 1937, JUST KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND DON'T ORDER BROCCOLI AS A SIDE!!!! Also, serious personal traumas are out, unless of course they are going to impact the date. Otherwise, religion, sex,politics, music and who won some sporting event you both have in common ought to be right out there in front. Ya don't want to be too hot and heavy and find out he likes to wear little hats and yell 'sieg hiel' in a munchkin voice while he is halfway to finding your G spot.