I have been on this site on & off for a while as well as several others. It has finally become obvious to me that I need advice on how to get what I want. So, fine people of LF, what do I do? I am a single, educated, adventurous BBW looking for a husband. Although I am not a prude, I am very cautious in my dealings with men (in other words, I don't even think of sex until months into a relationship). It seems if you are specifically looking for a husband, the only men who respond are overly zealous Christians, of which I am not one. Yet I look for liberal thinking men (as I am a liberal thinking woman) & all they want is "friends" with benefits". Yes, I realize I am oversimplifying things here, but seriously, what gives? Any ideas on how to deal with this?
Gotta agree with Theo and Jackthelass, guys your age are probably going to be put off by you being so up front about wanting marriage. Of course it's admirable that you are, but guys are liable to think you're simply on a husband hunt. Might state what you're looking for in a guy and that you want it to lead to marriage instead of the first thing they see.
To be blunt, I'd take out the line about looking for marriage. It makes you sound like some thai bride looking for a work permit.
I you meet a guy you'll end up discussing views on marriage anyway and that'll certainly happen if you enterinto a LTR, but stating right from the beginning that you're looking to get married implies that you're looking to get married NOW! as opposed to at some point in the future.
Chances are that any bloke you go out with in America is likely to be open to marriage (statistically speaking) so you're cutting off your nose to spite your face by stressing that you don't want to talk to people who don't believe in the institution of marriage.
Um, I never said I was a devoted Christian nor is that what I am looking for. I am just looking for a decent, honest, faithful TO ME guy. I don't think you need to be a Christian in order to want that, but it seems there are far more frogs than princes out there. And somehow I doubt a devout Christian husband would appreciate my views that gay marriage should be allowed & abortion should be legal among others. :)
Hi Stephanie, I am in the same predicament you are in but I am older with children. I don't know that I have any helpful suggestions but will be watching to see what ideas may come in on this topic. It is comforting to know that no matter what our age we all share common ground. Last week I was wondering if my problem was due to my own set of circumstances. This week I have started to read through the postings for the first time, add my own two bits to some of them, and I even winked at a few interesting men. Now I'll just see where that goes. At least it feels good to make some connections with new people. I've noticed some others stay on even after making their 'love connection'(oops I'm dating myself) to lend encouragement to those still looking. I believe that the right person will come along for you when you least expect him to. Keep it positive!
Hi Stephanie. I read your profile and it's very clear what you want and what you have to offer, and I admire your determination in holding out for the perfect guy. Unfortunately, they are a whole different species, and I think once they see the words 'commitment' and 'marriage' they may well run for the hills. You do right not to compromise, but I think you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. He's out there somewhere and I hope you find him.