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5 Levels of a hangover ..
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Posted on Fri, Jan 27, 2006 23:53

One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well.

However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 Cokes and still

feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.


Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but

you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging

is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity

pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc

being wreaked upon your bowels.


Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.

Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the

flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink.

Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns.

You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke -- yet

you haven't peed once.


Four Star Hangover (****)
. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or

else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has

given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that

can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies,

it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your

eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in

perpetual spasm, and the first of about five $hits you take during the day brings

water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.



Five Star Hangover (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying

the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every

pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of

your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the

poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your

tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the

stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in

a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater'

thrown in. . Death sounds pretty good about right now....



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Posted on Sat, Mar 11, 2006 17:14

I had a ball! ( So I have been told today) LOL
And..If I spoke to anyone on IM in the early hours of this morning...I am sorry if I was rude, crude,or just plain irritating!!



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Posted on Sat, Mar 11, 2006 03:03

Awwww bubs as long as u had a good time !!

  


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Posted on Fri, Mar 10, 2006 17:11

Level 4 due in about 7 hours

  


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Posted on Fri, Mar 10, 2006 02:03

macramsay write:
SteveNads write:
If you have never had a REAL hangover, you just aren't trying.

Uh uh!!! I went out once, starting drinking at noon, finished drinking at 2 in the morning...I have NEVER had a hangover!!! :) :) Sorry, I know you'll all hate me now!!!

At your age I wasn't getting hangovers either. Of course I didn't stop drinking until 31, but that's another lie.



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Posted on Wed, Mar 08, 2006 09:04

Never and I mean NEVER! Drink apple martinis like they are shots...not even on a bet!

I think I was still drunk when I hauled myself into work the next day. My goodness what a long day THAT was!



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Posted on Tue, Mar 07, 2006 08:15

SteveNads write:
If you have never had a REAL hangover, you just aren't trying.

Uh uh!!! I went out once, starting drinking at noon, finished drinking at 2 in the morning...I have NEVER had a hangover!!! :) :) Sorry, I know you'll all hate me now!!!



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Posted on Tue, Mar 07, 2006 08:01

Some of these might help you get that 5 star hangover, lol

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is unusually pale and clear.
FAULT : Glass empty.
ACTION : Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror. Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Turn glass other way up so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while complain to the owner about its lack of house training and demand a beer as compensation.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Find someone who will buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor swaying.
FAULT: Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey game in progress.
ACTION: Insert broom handle down back of jacket.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are taken to another bar. If not, complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and fluorescent light strip across it.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: If your glass is full and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to help you get up, latch yourself to bar.

FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dark.
FAULT: The Bar is closing.
ACTION: Panic.

SYMPTOM: You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet. You cannot see your bedroom.
FAULT: You have spent the night in the gutter.
ACTION: Check your watch to see if bars are open yet. If not, treat yourself to a lie-in.



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Posted on Sat, Mar 04, 2006 04:55

If you have never had a REAL hangover, you just aren't trying. Had one so bad in college at the start of spring break and was taking the train from New Mexico to California. All I wanted to do was take my head off and put it in the seat next to me and not bother it. Instead, I drank a warm six pack of beer and rejoined my head in alcoholic bliss. Now days it seems if I do the responsible thing and have just a couple beers, I get that killer headache, which makes me mad because if I'm going to be in pain, I should have gotten drunk and enjoyed the trip.



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Posted on Sun, Feb 12, 2006 16:20

Nothing wrong with Tequila...she says, holdin her head, coz its so gonna fall off.
Found this, so thought I would post it..

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila...

Tequila....is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila... can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila... almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila...

Tequila... may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila...However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

  


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Posted on Sat, Feb 11, 2006 05:18

I agree, that was very funny. Makes me glad I don't drink like that.... I have always wondered why anyone would want to live through the hangover... was the drinking worth it? LOL ..... Does sound pretty painful I must say. Have fun ladies.... I guess someone has to stay sober to drive all of you home.. LOL



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Posted on Fri, Feb 10, 2006 20:48

Loki I was a tequila v1rg1n up until about 4 months ago , i had 4 shots of the lick sip suck thingy ... and all it gave me was a burning bellie, thats rocket fuel I can now say can stay on the shelf.... lol

My hangover remedy is a big glass of water and 2 panadol before sleep ... works WONDERS

  


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Posted on Sun, Feb 05, 2006 14:14

yeah im the same way, without the hangovers i mean. unless there is tequila involved. tequila is the devil. s'only thing that makes me sick either. thats no good!



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Posted on Fri, Feb 03, 2006 22:31

been there, done that- but only a few times. I'm one of the few, the lucky- those who don't get hangovers very often. I have low blood sugar, so all I have to do is eat a candy bar after I drink my last drink- and no hangover. Except when I drink beer- which works like an immediate emetic. Or when someone who knows me steals my candy bar out of my purse!



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Posted on Fri, Feb 03, 2006 04:11

Sure Jag take it !! ;) dont have to give me credit for it tho ...its cool

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 02, 2006 18:55

Rockchick, may I post this elsewhere as long as I give you the credit of it?



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Posted on Thu, Feb 02, 2006 02:18

Hmmmmmmmmm is it safe to say that u all have been there and done that ...??

  


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Posted on Thu, Feb 02, 2006 01:20

sounds painfully true - currently missing class while working on a level 2 or 3 :P



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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2006 20:10

That brought tears to my eyes I was laughing so hard. Well done!



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Posted on Wed, Feb 01, 2006 08:39

Oh my Goodness..ROFL

How true that is!! Such a good laugh, thanks for that Rockchick!!

  


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