When you date men online do you find yourself incredibly uncomfortable unless you are at a BBW site? I've found that men tend to skip over the weight portion of profiles and then seemed shocked when they see you. How RUDE can you be? It almost makes me feel like I should tell them beforehand, so as to not waste my time on superficiality. But WHY should I have to tell them this...it's not like a handicap where they might have to make special accomodations for me! I just want to scream!!!! I feel if I am pressured to mention I am overweight to men before our date that they should be feeling the need to divulge their "size" if you get my drift. LOL. Am I wrong for that?
I cannot tell you how thrilled I was to read that such a handsome, articulate man considered BBW attractive. I know this is supposed to be a site for larger people but I have found it to be not so understanding. Oh, and do you have an older brother, uncle or dad who is even half as handsome as you are? Happy Holidays everyone!
CheshireGrins write: Ladies, personally a BBW has a much better personality and love of self then most rail thin supermodel wannabes. Women like Queen Latifah, Kathleen Turner and Cameron Manheim are all beautiful ladies. I do look at the body size and when I see thin and a list of what the person does and doesn't want I know I am dealing with someone I don't want to share a moment with. Most BBW's aren't self conscious about the little things and can laugh at themselves and others with no hesitation. I am glad to be here and have not been at all surprised at how attractive and thoughtful many of you are. Don't worry about the ones who look at your weight, think of the ones who are too busy talking to you and getting to know you to even notice!
Wow, how cute are you! And so right, too. We all know there has to be a physical attraction as well as a mental/emotional attraction. Our eyes feed our mind. Some guys/gals just can't or won't see beyond that. That's no excuse to be rude, though. Sometimes people feel they can get away with saying rude things on line because you're not face to face.
I've only tried this on line thing once before, but I was concerned because the profile didn't really specify size. I only emailed one guy and it fizzled out. So I didn't get that far. LOL! I decided to use BBW sites so I wouldn't have to worry about that again. I don't like feeling self conscious.
I totally know what you mean. Just yesterday I had a guy email me on a different site and we exchanged IM's. We started chatting and he asked for more pics I said they were on the website. He comes back asking if I was a big girl and I said yes, and he said he wasn't into big girls, so I said fine...later thinking the conversation was done.
He proceeds to come back and state I bet u get that a lot, I was like no most people read my profile; I didn't hide anything on my profile. Finally he ends the conversation stating I am nasty and huge...very unattractive. It was kind of upsetting, not what he said because I can give a rats a## about what he thinks, but the fact that he even said it. I know I am not going to be attractive to everyone but I didn't lie about who I was and what I looked like, it was completely out of line and extremely immature.
I have some good experiences and I think honesty is the best policy. I have no qualms putting it out there that I am a large woman. some men are not attracted to large women and I accept that. I usually read their profile to see what is their ideal match so we don't waste each others time if we sparked an interest.
Just my 2 cents ..... I just make sure I tell them upfront on the BBW sites... I tried the other sites and as soon as I told them they were gone...... so I just don't bother with any of the other sites......but that is just me.... have a great one everybody......smiles, me
I find that it's always better to get things out in the open to start off with.. Pics are a great idea I'm getting a new one soon myself.. It just saves what might other wise be wasted time on bouth parts.. I find that it's kinda akward on other sites that are not made for bbws.. I've actualy had guys on other sites and in chat ask me what dose bbw mean LoL..
I can agree with you "TallRupunzal" but I went out with a woman from this site and the picture she had posted was at least 25 old ! I think I went to lunch with her mother instead, I even think that her daughter posted her picture just so her mother could get a date. Now I'm hesitant, and even ask for a recent picture that is dated ! She was asking for the man to be "Honest" and not a "Liar" when she wasn't.
So far I've met two men that I've chatted with in online sites....and both experiences were extremely positive and fun. I think it really depends on how your present yourself in your profile and your chat. I'm pretty candid with the guys I talk to from the non-BBW sites and let them know what to expect. So far, the response has been positive.
Thanks for all the good advice ya'll. I was having a particularly bad day when I posted this and was feeling a bit pessimistic. I do tend to feel this way sometimes but I don't let it deter me. I know eventually I'll find the one. Anything worth having doesn't come easily, right?
Its simple...Always make sure you have send a pic, or have one one your profile...I had a pleasant suprise last weekend...I met a guy and he said..." You dont look like your pic" and I was waiting for the........." You look bigger " and he didnt...He said.." YOu look younger" BLESS HIM!!!
On a more serious..ish note...If he has seen your piccie, then he knows you are not twiggy, then there should be no excuse for anyone being embarrassed, or afraid, or anything like that....
I always make sure anyone i meet is like the Scouts in the UK....BE PREPARED!! Hahahahahaha
I don't think you're wrong at all. But at the same time I think it's an individual decision. I, personally, make no bones about my weight to any prospective date. Helps me to weed out the jerks and from wasting my time.