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Meeting people online...What do you do?
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Posted on Sun, Jan 08, 2006 13:55

When meeting people in real life, lots of people have their own "rules" about dating. Whether you think they're silly or serious, there's stuff like you don't call someone for so many days after meeting them, don't sleep with somone for so many dates or whatever.

I know online... the standards are different. When you're meeting people online---what do you do?

How well do you need to know someone before you give out your "real" e-mail address or IM? How about phone numbers and etc.?



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Posted on Thu, Jan 26, 2006 18:07

becuase if they are creepy, i can just block them. but as for a phone number, i don;t do that until i have met the person in real life, mainly becuase they can easily do a search online and find out where you live with the number. i also always meet people at Timmies for coffee (Tim Hortons, our most popular coffee joint, for all you non canadians out there). and i always bring a friend with me for first time meetings. actually, i have only met one person online that i didn;t meet at timmies, and i met her at the bus terminal, and we went to my house...but she was a female, i had a friend with me, and we had mutual friends, so i didn;t really think she was someone i needed to be worried about.

all in all, for online meetings, whatever, you just need to remember to be careful, becuase there are a lot of creepies out there. don;t give out phone numbers, addresses, or even pics of your kids, until you know the person is not someone to be worried about.



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Posted on Sun, Jan 15, 2006 20:31

jctngirl write:
When meeting people in real life, lots of people have their own "rules" about dating. Whether you think they're silly or serious, there's stuff like you don't call someone for so many days after meeting them, don't sleep with somone for so many dates or whatever.

I know online... the standards are different. When you're meeting people online---what do you do?

How well do you need to know someone before you give out your "real" e-mail address or IM? How about phone numbers and etc.?


Well that varies alot from person to person.

Personally I prefer to chat a bit before moving to the phone. However, most of the girls I've chatted with seem to want to jump to the phone the 1st time I speak with them. I don't know maybe it's there way of trying to week out fakes whom have no intention of ever meeting offline.I have no issues giving out my cell phone early either, but I'd prefer to wait a bit.

As far as meeting in person I'd prefer to do it sooner, like within 3 weeks, rather than later that way you know for sure the person is legit and whom they say they are. It also saves a lot of time since people don't usually make up their mind before they meet someone in person and if you do it sooner and things don't work out you have wasted little time.



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Posted on Thu, Jan 12, 2006 11:23

I happen to agree with a number of comments. Use common sense! You never know who you are about to meet. On the flip side, they should take pre cautions too. People knowing where you are; the first time around and meeting in a public place.

Queensizeprize your comment on honesty about moving forward is very true. If you are not interest, just let the person know. It is not a good feeling to be left wondering. We are all different, wonderful people. Some we have chemistry with, others we do not. We should at least be nice enough to the other we have met to let them know if you do not wish to meet again.

  


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Posted on Wed, Jan 11, 2006 00:29

One other note on paranoia.

Just because you aren't paranoid, doesn't mean they still aren't out to get you!


hehe jk



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 20:47

These precautions are all fine, especially if you're paranoid. How about just attempting to use a bit of common sense and intuition? I understand that online and real-life personalities can be vastly different. When you "meet" a man online and, suddenly, those "red flags" start appearing then it's time to step back and use your own head. I certainly don't think it's a good idea to give out too much information until it feels right to do so. If the guy is demanding your phone number then I wouldn't think that he's too safe. But, if you feel that you do wish to speak with him AND you feel it's safe then go ahead and either call him or give him your phone number. The ideas about keeping in touch with a friend during the date might also be a good one. Just leave your phone off unless you wish to be annoyed or you want him to think that his company isn't worth the effort.



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Posted on Tue, Jan 10, 2006 14:24

I don't usually give out my phone number to people I have met on line till I have been talking to them for a while.
When it comes to meeting people..I always, always make sure someone knows where I going, who I am meeting, and I arrange to phone them and let them know I am ok.
I always take my own car. so I can make a quick getaway if I feel at all uneasy, and always arrange to meet in a public place.
But,having said all that...Instinct and Intuition are the safest things to use?



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Posted on Mon, Jan 09, 2006 18:02

Have a special email for dating sites.
After you banter back and forth for a while and you get a general judge of their character give them your IM.. you can always ignore someone etc if they turn out to be wieners.

As for the phone number, I'd save that till you've had a coffee date IRL. However if it's long long long distance and that is not possible. I don't know thats a hard one... get mic and web cam. You can skip the whole phone thingy.



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Posted on Mon, Jan 09, 2006 08:40

It all depends on how comfortable you are in giving out that info. My phone number is listed, and my name is very unique, so really, with very little effort, it would be easy for someone to find that info anyway, so I am not so guarded about it.

Plus, I work for a phone company, and to get my number changed in a scary situation would not be difficult.

The one thing I did not compromise on, is that the first meeting was in a public place, I had my own transportation to and from, ad that at least one other person knew where I was, and expected a check in phone call. Thankfully, I never ended up needing those precautions, unless you consider being completely incompatible and bored a perilous situation.



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Posted on Mon, Jan 09, 2006 08:10

jctngirl write:
When meeting people in real life, lots of people have their own "rules" about dating. Whether you think they're silly or serious, there's stuff like you don't call someone for so many days after meeting them, don't sleep with somone for so many dates or whatever.

I know online... the standards are different. When you're meeting people online---what do you do?



I know i met someone on a sports messg board, and we chated about sports for almost 2 months before giving talking on the phone, we didn't exchange pics till 2 months after that, then we continued to talk and decided to meet 4 months after that ( the meeting had been set up prior, maybe month in a half, 2 months later btu the actual meeting )

So i guess what i am trying to say, is use your best judgment.



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