Earlier this week I watched a segment on one of those news networks regarding a new study about dating and marriage in regards to income. Long story short, it said that relationships where the female makes equal or more money are hugely more likely to fail. It cited 2 reasons for this, one... women who have an income are less likely to stay in a bad or abusive relationship, and two... that men were less likely to pursue relationships with someone who was (financially) their equal.
This is still bugging me a few days later. While I am glad that women who are in bad relationships are more able to get out, the second part of this bugs me....
Guys, does it really matter? Would it bother you if the girl had a better job than you?
I just lost a guy to this, he has a warehouse job and I have an office job. He couldn't get past that and thought he would "bring me down" somehow. I love a man who comes home with a layer of dirt on them from working with their hands all day. The kicker is I only made a few dollars more and had better benefits. I guess it just wasn't meant to be...oh well.
Theophrastus write: More educated and professional? where did you read that?
It's annecdotal evidence but in the UK roughly 30% of people go to university but if you do a search of the UK women on here it's maybe 1 in 10 and it's certainly not 1 in 3.
I've seen that mentioned a few places 20/20, Fox News, and elswhere. They were probably talking more about Americans, but this is something that is pretty much well documented and known. Which is why there are so many dating sites including those looking to setup us American men with "foreign" women from Russia, Latin America, and other Eastern European nations.
I just have a 4 year degree, but would love to meet somone that has a masters or even a PHD. I find knowledge and intelligence to be a huge turn on. Also wouldnt bother me in the least if she made more money than me, that would be a huge plus.
Well it's not my theory. I simply am a realist and state what goes on in reality.
I'm basing what I say off studies I've seen and heard about income and such. For one I study I head a few months ago was saying how no matter how much money a women makes she tends to still prefer to date a man who has/makes more money than here. Sure there can be some valid reasons for that, but it leaves a very interesting impression. A more recent study I saw about online daters was the one that said online daters tend to be more educated and professional. There are other things I can state too, but this post would get even longer than it is.
For the record I'm not taking any shots at all women I'm just telling it how it is with some women. Not to mention in my other post I said plenty of women AND men too.
My only real premise is that in the real world income, just like size and looks, DOES matter despite people often times saying the contrary.
BBanditt (or whatever) your theory is so full of holes. And, I think it does a real disservice to women. From your statement, I would assume that you think that women are after only one thing. There are only a minority, in my experiance, who are that shallow. I think it's kind of sad that you might have such a poor opinion of women (unless you were just kidding).
Cathii write: why does anyone care???, or is just a major issue online, as i dont hear of many people meeting in a pub or bar or party, and this would be the major topic of conversation, over a beer.
If he/she is working then fine, if you both happy then even better...if not sell him and the kids on ebay and escape to a spa.
Cathii, you might not care, however, there are plenty of women and men too (although to a lesser extent) whom care very much about a person's income.
This is definitely not just an online issue, income has an always will be a factor that causes many people to not find that special person.
If you don't think income matters take a look around any online dating site and see how many people are lying about their income. I know that online daters tend to be more educated and professional, but not this many single people making $75K, $100K, $100K+ is highly unlikely .... especially if you're a guy ... hahahaha ... b/c we all know a guy with money not matter how you look will inevitably attract cute, sexy, gold diggers or others looking for that man with money.
Like other ladies before me have said--I don't care if a man makes less than myself. All I care about is that he's able to be employed for an extended length of time, & doesn't whine about it. The job itself doesn't matter. I don't care if it's flipping burgers--heck I've done that myself, it will give us something in common to talk about! ;-)
zbig14u write: This study you site seems kind of biased against men. The two reasons "women who make more money" relationships fail are: bad or abusive relationship (man's fault), the men can't handle not being the bread winner (man's fault). There's an awful lot of male bashing out there that I just don't understand. Yes there are bucket heads out there but believe me that goes both ways. My last live in girlfriend I made more money. I paid all the bills, and yet she was too sorry to run the house properly. I know she's and individual but if your going to keep knocking men, we got a few stories of our own to tell.
I didn't start this thread as male bashing, Zbig... more just to open a conversation...partially because when watching this segment, I did think it was kind of biased... as there are many more relationships types out there than just the one they described.
Money is truthfully just to pay bills, and I'm more interested in a guy's sense of responsibility and work ethic than the dollar amount he brings home on his W2.
That being said, I've had mixed reactions from guys on my job. Mostly due to the fact that I'm in a management in a very blue collar area.
I guess I don't know why it matters, as long as the people themselves are compatible.
Money used to be a main concern of mine...I worked long hrs and 6 and sometimes 7 days a week. As long as I was making more than my gf I was a happy man. But in the end it cost me my relationship with her and never understood why for the longest time. I was raised that the 'Man' was supposed to be the Breadwinner. After a few years I talked with her and she said the reason was "Yea...you made good money and we had everything we wanted to buy...But... You were never there to enjoy anything with me". After that I realized that money is not everything in order to make a person 'Happy'. I support my gf in what ever she does and if your in a relationship you should support each other. I may not have the money I used to have....But I am alot happier these days. And that to me is worth more than money could ever buy.
Income is not much of a factor for me in determining whether or not to date someone. I don't expect a man to pay for everything and in turn I will not pay for everything. That being said I would like to date a man that has enough money to participate in society. It's not much fun going on a date to watch other people or to feed the seagulls.
It would be nice if the man is passionate about his work. Since we spend much of our lives at our work it does say something about who we are.
I am more interested in the guy having his own place. I have met too many guys that live with their parents and they are not school boys. :)
I, for one, don't care what a partner may choose to do for work - - as long as they're doing something they're happy with and not miserable and always complaining and the fact that they work. Having a spouse that was allergic to gainful employment, it's wearisome. I don't care what you do - - just do something. I carried his weight through the majority of our 17 year union, and it just got to be too much, compounded with all the other crap that goes on. So, now, not to sound uppity or whatever, but a man has to meet or beat me. I'm not trying to take care of a grown person. I already have three people following me around every day expecting to eat.....LOL! I don't need a fourth. Unfortunately, they don't have allergy shots for this disease (dont-a-wanna-work-itis). He can make more money - - fine. I can make more money - - fine. As long as you both can take care of what you need to take care of, it shouldn't matter, just as long as your both pulling your weight.
jaguarsfan1996 write: It's not just money though. Many guys aren't comfortable if a woman has more education than them as well.
No one really likes to feel stupid. I'd have no problem with a lady friend who had a PHD in whatever.
My only issue would be with someone who would use this advantage or wealth of knowledge to put me down.
I've only met two women whom I would definitely acknowledge as being far more intelligent than I. Talkn about VASTLY more intelligent. Theres plenty of men and women smarter than I in various areas of knowledge but these particular ladies rather astounded me.
One of them was my best friend for a long time. Another one tends to pick on me for the ways I may fumble things.... I'm a bit of a klutz. Apparently according to her best friend of 10 years that means she likes me.... people are strange.
I have no issues with a woman having a better job than me. However if she had a good job and used that as an excuse to rub it in my face (theoretically) then I'd have an issue with HER not with the job .... anyhow I ask only that my gf HAS a job.
The only thing that concerns me on occasion is I have a good 8-5 job. Some people do not have this luxury. It gets stressful on a relationship if the hours of the other partner are totally messed up.
For instance my dad is a carpenter works 9 till 6-8ish. My mother is a nurse she works 4am till 1pm. So they only see each other for about 2 - 4 hours a day. depending.
Ideally my gf would work similar hours to my own. The stress of not seeing your partner for days would get annoying. And if you have a family mixed in there things can get pretty hairy.
Well, all I ask of a man is that he's employed. And this could even be at the local McDonald's. I don't ask that he be independently wealthy. Just employed. And not heavily in debt. By this I mean, not even able to borrow enough to buy a piece of bubble gum. I learned this the hard way. But I would expect a man to feel the same.
This study you site seems kind of biased against men. The two reasons "women who make more money" relationships fail are: bad or abusive relationship (man's fault), the men can't handle not being the bread winner (man's fault). There's an awful lot of male bashing out there that I just don't understand. Yes there are bucket heads out there but believe me that goes both ways. My last live in girlfriend I made more money. I paid all the bills, and yet she was too sorry to run the house properly. I know she's and individual but if your going to keep knocking men, we got a few stories of our own to tell.
"If a woman came up to me and expected me to support her heroin habit and 50 children I'd say OI! woman! NOOOOOOO!"
This issue is simple... nobody likes deadbeats.
Women's liberation means that while women are free of the expectation that their place is in the home, men are similarly freed of the expectation to be the sole breadwinner.
I want a relationship with a modern woman and as a result everyone's financially liable for their own responsibilities alone and all joint stuff gets split down the middle and we'd go dutch when we go out to dinner.
There's no point going on about women being gold-diggers partly because it makes you look like a misogynist throwback and partly because NOBODY wants a deadbeat as a weight around their neck.