Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.
Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married an Australian girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.
God Bless Australian Women!
And of course we arent like this :P ... well most of us arent anyway lol
Hey thanks for the wrap Dana !! heres another .... hope u all enjoy ;)
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you play golf with her?"
HUSBAND: "I guess so."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: - - - silence - - -
Heres one along the same lines.... but its called THE HUSBAND
The husband had just finished reading the book, 'MAN OF THE HOUSE'.
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said,
"From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and
word is law!
I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm Finished
eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward.
Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax.
And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and
comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The f#cking funeral director would be my guess."