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dating the disable.
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Posted on Mon, Oct 17, 2005 23:07

"Why is it?, when ur interested in someone, the minute you tell them ur disable...all of sudden they're turned
off!" i'm disabled, not my brain or my
bone! disabled people need love too.

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Posted on Tue, Apr 25, 2006 20:21

I am living with my disabled spouse, who has been knocked down in his prime. He is totally dependent, and has a hard road ahead if he plans to get any better. Right now, I'm doing all the work and getting frustrated as he isn't trying hard enough. I want to be a good wife and miss him so much. This last 2 years is a blip to him, with his brain tumor surgery, stroke and rehab, but now that he is home with me it is hard. I am praying for a miracle!! I want the most wonderful spouse and friend back, I miss him so much.

  


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Posted on Wed, Feb 22, 2006 02:37

Um... how does he know people get out of his way? Besides which, to be fair I do that if I see someone with a cane simply because I don't want to get in their way.

I wish someone would do it for me on a crowded street :-)



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Posted on Tue, Feb 21, 2006 13:40

I'm so sorry that you are getting those kinds of responses. I assure you, not EVERYONE is like that! I met a quadriplegic, we became friends, we fell in love, we married, we had 10 beautiful years together. Never, never, never did the wheelchair or his disability matter to me. Be encouraged - someone, somewhere, sometime, will love you for YOU.



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Posted on Fri, Nov 11, 2005 13:09

to lebunny: My heart goes out to you lady, I hope your husband comes to his senses soon for you are beautiful!!!!!!



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Posted on Fri, Nov 11, 2005 13:07

Disabled? the only thing that really dsiables you is your attitude. My vision isn't good enough to drive legally, but I play tennis and basketball, I can do anything anyone else can, we all have limits, but your mind will handicap you faster if you tell yourself you can't do this or that, when you do tell yourself that kind of thing, your are handicapping yourself.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 05, 2005 17:45

NAUGHTYBUTNICE1963 write:
To Don, and everyone else who has posted regarding this matter:

Regretfully, there are people out there who say, and believe, that it doesn't matter to them that a person has a handicap, just as there are people out there who say that size (of ANY type) does not matter); regretfully, all of us here have experienced the pain that comes from finding out that yes size does matter and yes, those crutches, or that wheelchair does make a difference....BUT.. for me at least, it's something I'd much rather find out early on (hence the picture of me in the wheelchair despite the fact that 99% of the time I'm using crutches), because if a woman can't handle me at my "weakest" moments, then I'd rather find out before I really need for her to be there, only to find that she isn't.

Don't despair, and don't give up; the people here are A-1.

Chris


For me, the fact that he couldnt walk, really didn't matter...he was a wonderful man with a beautiful heart.. he just couldn't get past the fact that a good woman could love him for himself..disability and all. So there are some people "out there" that CAN look beyond the physical and see the spiritual and warmth of a soul.. also, I had worked with people of all ages with physical and mental handicaps, so dating a man in a wheelchair was not a total adjustment..I was aware of all that goes into helping care for someone who can't get around as well as others. It was worth it to me...just not enough to him.

Its good Naughty, that you are up front about your disability and I agree it's better to know if someone can handle your disability from the get go.



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Posted on Sat, Nov 05, 2005 12:28

To Don, and everyone else who has posted regarding this matter:

Regretfully, there are people out there who say, and believe, that it doesn't matter to them that a person has a handicap, just as there are people out there who say that size (of ANY type) does not matter); regretfully, all of us here have experienced the pain that comes from finding out that yes size does matter and yes, those crutches, or that wheelchair does make a difference....BUT.. for me at least, it's something I'd much rather find out early on (hence the picture of me in the wheelchair despite the fact that 99% of the time I'm using crutches), because if a woman can't handle me at my "weakest" moments, then I'd rather find out before I really need for her to be there, only to find that she isn't.

Don't despair, and don't give up; the people here are A-1.

Chris



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Posted on Thu, Nov 03, 2005 06:41

too true... i travel extensively (frequently alone) scuba dive, swim; i read, love music,am a fully functional and excellent lover, am a generous and caring person who's funny smart and totally self sufficient ( well, ok, i need help taking the garbage out) i also have a walking disability from knee damage. i never tell anyone that until they get to know me,(by email or phone) but mostly, still, they then find an excuse not to meet me; usually when we've already arranged to meet. the sad reality is that in a room full of eligible women, fat or not, a 350 lb woman in a wheelchair/scooter or walking with a cane is NOT anyone's first ( or last, apparently) choice. this is the first time i've admitted this in the open, so i guess that finishes me on this site as well, now. i'd like to say keep your chin up, but well, someone would just stomp on it. i think you're cute.



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Posted on Sat, Oct 22, 2005 17:50

I totally agree, Don.. ALL people need loving.. no matter what their capabilities.
I once dated a man with a disability..for 6 months...the problem was he couldnt get over his disability..not me.. I was fine with it but in the end he just couldnt trust that I really loved him for who he was. thought I felt sorry for him.. I finally told him no one could feel as sorry for him as he could himself and his disability wasnt his inability to walk..it was his self pity. Hope he got help.

Anyway, Don...there are genuine people out there looking for real friends...good luck.
I totally agree, Don.. ALL people need loving.. no matter what their capabilities.
I once dated a man with a disability..for 6 months...the problem was he couldnt get over his disability..not me.. I was fine with it but in the end he just couldnt trust that I really loved him for who he was. thought I felt sorry for him.. I finally told him no one could feel as sorry for him as he could himself and his disability wasnt his inability to walk..it was his self pity. Hope he got help.

Anyway, Don...there are genuine people out there looking for real friends...good luck.