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Self esteem issues
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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 08:26

I have really enjoyed reading the subjects here, there are some really positive and upbeat people here who have great self-esteem. We all know self-esteem in the larger sized people is hard earned. Over our lifetime being put down before someone even knows the person within but can be very defeating. Before I became single and started searching the internet I had no clue that there were so many fat admirers out in the world and love us for the way we are without changing.

Of course there are still people out there that think because we're overweight we're desperate and we should be thankful that they want us and expect us to invite them right on over for a romp in the hay. And I'm someone who loves a good romp in the hay but wow, I'd sure like to know that person a bit before that happens, lol.

I think we become more attractive to others when we learn to love ourselves just as we are and have a positive outlook.

Granted, we have same urges as our thinner counterparts but I hope we'll think highly enough of ourselves that we don't put our safety/health in danger by handing out our bodies to any Tom, Nick (the censor didn't like the other name, lol) or Harry. These days there's ways to take care of those urges without inviting danger into our bedrooms, lol.

There's also many sites out there, some better than others that you can meet quality people. Even clubs you can join. So, I just had to get that out in the open, work on self-esteem issues and your beauty and great energy will follow. Keep up the great posts. You guys are a blast! Grace

  


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Posted on Fri, Dec 04, 2009 09:37

It's not a matter of self esteem alone
I have seen what the average and petite and smaller women do for love too. People in general do not have the morals or values that society once encouraged, small med or large.
I am not holier than thou nor am I an evil pushover but we each have to find our own road to travel along, and allow others to do the same. I don't have to like or approve of what others choose and/or like do or say ---- But I am the one who decides how much I let it get to me, effect me or change me. And I don't!



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Posted on Fri, Jul 04, 2008 22:21

To me, being nothing but a stinky mass of lard is part of my punk pride. I really gross people out and I like that. While everybody is concerned about losing weight I just let myself get fatter and fatter. I'm the "no" answer to mainstream society's fascination with Hollywood standards.



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Posted on Sun, Feb 24, 2008 22:30

Well i have done some really silly stuff..but all in waitting for an effect on my friends. I really wanted to see who is honest..Guess what? I have come to this:Like me are hate me ..there is no middle part.
Btw us..yeah i shaved my head to..who caress :)

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Posted on Tue, Feb 19, 2008 15:51

I think one of the most difficult things about being overweight is the expectation of non-fat people. They expect you to accept that you will be the subject of ridicule, abuse, insults. But the most disappointing thing is that they also assume that as a fat person you hate yourself, you have no self worth, you're depressed, you lack self esteem etc, which isn't true for all of us. Additionally, I love the way 'fat' goes hand in hand with 'ugly' or 'disgusting.' How many times have you heard people say "fat and ugly" or "fat and disgusting?" There are unattractive skinny people everywhere!!

I've been in situations where guys have stared or said something about my appearance under their breath. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I usually say something crude like "If you're curious, yes, this is the best you'll ever have" or "it didn't bother you last night when I was sitting on your face." Crass I know, but it sure takes them by surprise!



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Posted on Tue, Jan 22, 2008 14:09

The thing that really bothers me is that I hear people say people are fat because they dont take care of themselves..
and I am not a fat person
I am a person who is fat.



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Posted on Sun, Oct 23, 2005 19:58

Hello lady!! What Ya doing?
Hello lady!! What Ya doing?



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Posted on Sun, Oct 23, 2005 14:59

angiehunny write:
people are so different these days. i have been approached by some of the nastiest men with the ludest lines. or even worse, the ones that are nice as pie and then turn into "mr bootyhound".
one of the last jerks was after me for like 2 weeks and when i told him "i'm not like that and don't talk to me that way" he yelled "loose some weight!" nice i thought? a week ago you were telling me i was beautiful and couldn't believe i as spoken for. i really do think that a man/boy/guy whatever? of "normal weight" thinks of it as a privilage that they would consider a "heavier girl"? but that doesn't mean talk to me like i am dirt?


The problem isn't the fact that you are larger the problem was that he was rejected. Had you been of "normal weight" he would have made a comment about your eyes, or nose, or hair, or attitude, etc... he would have found SOMETHING to pick at. I've found this out with meeting men: THEY DON'T LIKE REJECTION!!! The minute they encounter it on any level...alot retaliate the only way they know how..with words..and with a bigger girl what's the first thing they'll go for? Your weight. So pay no attention to that fool or any other. You are very beautiful and good for you for standing up for yourself!



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Posted on Sun, Oct 23, 2005 14:50

It is sad that people discriminate against big people. I learned though in high school, the reason that people are so mean is because they have something about themselves that they don't like. By preying on someone else it makes them feel superior. It is all because of their own insecurities that makes them prey on others. When they say something ask them what makes them so insecure about themself.
It is sad that people discriminate against big people. I learned though in high school, the reason that people are so mean is because they have something about themselves that they don't like. By preying on someone else it makes them feel superior. It is all because of their own insecurities that makes them prey on others. When they say something ask them what makes them so insecure about themself.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 20, 2005 11:04

I was in the market the other day.. my two children in tow. This man kept on staring at me. I turned around and made the comment "If you have a problem with the way I look,their are millions of others in the world, stare at someone else." I am self-confident, but to be gawked as if im a side show freak is uncalled for.
I was in the market the other day.. my two children in tow. This man kept on staring at me. I turned around and made the comment "If you have a problem with the way I look,their are millions of others in the world, stare at someone else." I am self-confident, but to be gawked as if im a side show freak is uncalled for.



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Posted on Mon, Oct 17, 2005 22:08

people are so different these days. i have been approached by some of the nastiest men with the ludest lines. or even worse, the ones that are nice as pie and then turn into "mr bootyhound".
one of the last jerks was after me for like 2 weeks and when i told him "i'm not like that and don't talk to me that way" he yelled "loose some weight!" nice i thought? a week ago you were telling me i was beautiful and couldn't believe i as spoken for. i really do think that a man/boy/guy whatever? of "normal weight" thinks of it as a privilage that they would consider a "heavier girl"? but that doesn't mean talk to me like i am dirt?



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Posted on Sat, Oct 15, 2005 12:21

MrG it's sad...but my thin friends experience the same thing..only when they reject a guy it's "wow you are a sl*t anyways why would I want you?" or they pick a feature like "you have no bre-asts I wouldnt want to have sex with a boy" kinda thing..it's just men that have an issue with being shot down. Has nothing to do with us ladies being bigger.

Sad.....yes. Reality....unfortunately:(



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Posted on Sat, Oct 15, 2005 09:54

Wow, you girls were communicating with some real animals/jerks. Too often, people (I'm using that term very loosely) ASSUME things. What they ASSUME becomes such an issue to them that they don't care who they might hurt. It's very fortunate that you didn't become involved with these people; they might've turned-out to be dangerous. It would be a better world if people could view things without pre-conceptions. Although, I suppose that the pre-conception is may just be the result of a past experiance which has not been resolved(sorry about the long-winded bit, I do try to see the good in every situation BEFORE ranting and raving). Anyhow, I do shudder to think of what the outcome may have been had you become involved with those "people".



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Posted on Sat, Oct 15, 2005 09:33

I was communicating with a guy years ago that got upset when I didn't ignore my friends words of caution... he ended his communication with me by saying: 'you're probably fat too" Well... duh.... we DID meet on a BBW site. Why the need to insult?? I guess that's why I never liked the term fat... it's always used as an insult, not just as a matter of defining size.

But I agree... SOME men... thankfully not all, think large women are desperate so we'll hop in bed with anyone who will give us a glance.



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Posted on Sat, Oct 15, 2005 08:20


Dee738 write:

Gracie1956 write:


Of course there are still people out there that think because we're overweight we're desperate and we should be thankful that they want us and expect us to invite them right on over for a romp in the hay.



Funny you should bring that up. Like many others, I am sure, this is not the only dating site on which I have a profile.

The other night, on one of the others, this man IM'ed me, and the conversation went like this:

him: Hey. Wanna hook up tonight?
Me: Hi, Sorry, I'm not in to casual encounters. Good luck with your search, though.
him: oh, come on, I really want to ravage your body
me: I'm just the type of person that needs the emotional as well as the physical. It's just not my style.
him: Seriously? A fat ch.ick like you must not get many chances.


Of course immediately after saying that, coward that he was, he shut off the IM and blocked me, so I couldn't ask him if I was so hideous, why he was trying to get me in bed; or point out I don't date troglodytes with shriveled members.

That other site has forums as well, and much fun was had speculating on how long he's lived in mommy's basement, etc. It was very cathartic, especially as it is not a site geared to BBW's and I recieved support and indignant rage on my behalf from people of all shapes and sizes.

The truly sad part is that jerks like that are able to successfully prey on anyone with low self esteem, not just large women.



Ive had that too! When I declined his offer the guy went as far as to say "Well considering you are fat you should actually be paying me to sleep with you". I thought... wow... someone can't handle rejetion well! Seems he had more self esteem issues than myself!

And I agree sadly they prey everywhere...



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 11:51


Gracie1956 write:


Of course there are still people out there that think because we're overweight we're desperate and we should be thankful that they want us and expect us to invite them right on over for a romp in the hay.



Funny you should bring that up. Like many others, I am sure, this is not the only dating site on which I have a profile.

The other night, on one of the others, this man IM'ed me, and the conversation went like this:

him: Hey. Wanna hook up tonight?
Me: Hi, Sorry, I'm not in to casual encounters. Good luck with your search, though.
him: oh, come on, I really want to ravage your body
me: I'm just the type of person that needs the emotional as well as the physical. It's just not my style.
him: Seriously? A fat ch.ick like you must not get many chances.


Of course immediately after saying that, coward that he was, he shut off the IM and blocked me, so I couldn't ask him if I was so hideous, why he was trying to get me in bed; or point out I don't date troglodytes with shriveled members.

That other site has forums as well, and much fun was had speculating on how long he's lived in mommy's basement, etc. It was very cathartic, especially as it is not a site geared to BBW's and I recieved support and indignant rage on my behalf from people of all shapes and sizes.

The truly sad part is that jerks like that are able to successfully prey on anyone with low self esteem, not just large women.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 14, 2005 11:11

Gracie... I agree.... WE have to accept our bodies before we can expect anyone else to accept them. I tell people to OWN YOUR BODY! It is the only one you have and you can't change it overnight. I think we inadvertently turn guys off because we are not comfortable with our own bodies. Men pick up on these things. I have found that a man would much prefer a woman who is confident in her own skin and comfortable with her body. Just remember that being s-e-x-y is an ATTITUDE, not a look. It starts in your own head. If you think it and act it, then you will be it. At least that's what I have found in my experience.

Don't get me wrong.... I was once one of those women who thought her body was disgusting and it wasn't until I actually heard those words come from the mouth of my 2nd husband that I realized that HE was the one with the problem.... not me. So women... don't sweat it.... yes, there may be some men who don't like a larger woman.... but sweetie... there are LOTS and LOTS who do!