I know this sounds crazy, but I got to thinking about it today and realized that I have never had a BHM interested in me. The men that actually have found me interesting or have asked me out are all average size men.
Tell me... do BHM prefer smaller women? I actually think I'd enjoy and be more comfortable with a larger man... maybe not. I know I've sent out winks, interest signals and emails to several larger men...I've never gotten a reply.
I was just wondering if it's just coincidental or if there's a pattern.
Yeah... I have to admit that I could very easily live without BBWs that are body fascists.
But I also could live without this ridiculous notion that because I'm fat I'm somehow further down the food chain than some skinny guy.
It's easy to look at it in terms of BBWs being courted by fetishists so they can afford to ignore big guys on principle.
It's a justification for body fascism and sizism. Everyone creates their own desirability pecking order and a BBW that doesn't date big men is like a those thin guys who wouldn't date you as a teenager, in fact they're substantially worse because they've been there.
I think size-fetishism is an absolute cancer within the plus-size community. It reinforces all the worst kinds of stereotypes that, traditionally, groups that came together over the net move away from.
As for why BHMs would'nt approach a BBW...
Maybe they've all given up and decided that suicide's the only way out.
Maybe they have and they've gotten lost in the tsunami of fetishist emails.
Treasure05 write: Hi Musicnut, I understand a lot of Louisiana people have evacuated to Oklahoma. I have never experienced so many men so wild about big body size as guys from that state---esp. some attractive Black men with "meat shakin' on the bone." So, once people get more settled in, there's an opportunity to meet lots of BHM's who like BBW's.
We've had a few families brought to our area, but not many. I live in a small town and it seems they've taken most families to larger areas.
By the way... a VERY nice man who is a BHM has started communicating.... looks VERY possible... probable... exciting... encouraging... yep... he's a nice guy!!!!
well i agree that some bbw girls go for skinnier guys as we have the same hang ups as bbw lovers, which is generally what are people gonna think, he is young and fit so every one will love me, i will get into the new secret world of skinny people because i am dating one etc! how ever i have just split up from a thin guy because he just doesn't float my boat like rugby player build + do, at the end on the day i wanna be able to relax with a strong pair of masculine arms around me and know that the bloke next to me has some understanding of what i feel and the self consiouness issues that i face even if they are not self concious themselves! just my thoughts! lisa x x x
That makes me sad. That is a prejudice all it's own from women who have been rejected themselves.
But you are probably right, because I sure haven't received any interest from larger men... but wish I would.
It's just that most of the men I have met like larger women, but they don't understand that I don't want to do some of the things they enjoy doing... like hang out at the beach. I'm a SSBBW and I'm self conscience of peoples comments... I have no desire to put myself in a situation where the majority are NOT accepting of my size even if he is. Also, sometimes they don't understand that I have a bit more of a limited physical ability. Like playing sports... it's very challenging for me and embarrassing when I get so out of breath and perspire... I think a larger man would be more understanding of this.
BBW's have a following of guys whom are interested in them and thus can usually have more pickings than we BHM. That has allowed lots of BBW's to be very picky in whom they date and alot of them want nothing to do with BHM's. Thus, after we BHM try and go after so many BBW's only to be turned down because of our size we get to thinking that maybe that's a common thought among BBW, that they don't want a guy as big as them or bigger.
Thus we BHM's get discouraged and decide to focus more on "average" sized women whom might not have the same hangups about there own size and limit whom they date.
I have checked out plenty a profiles ON THIS VERY SAME SITE and others where BBW's specifically state "not attracted or interested in big men" or something similar to that. It's basically women like that, that lead some BHM's to not seek BBW's.