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Why are all the nice guys overlooked?
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Posted on Tue, Jan 04, 2011 18:53

I don't think I'm ugly, Idon't think I'll win any beauty contest either. But I can't get an even average looking lady to look at me twice?? What am I doing wrong! those women that want to say I'm good looking look like they were run over by a Train!

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Posted on Wed, Dec 29, 2010 18:11

I like that statement on being a gentlemen, it is hard to find them out here.

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Posted on Sat, Nov 21, 2009 23:14

hey hun theres nothing wrong w being a nice guy

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Posted on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 20:29

The fact that you're intelligent and talented is a turn on for me, but taking a look at your profile I think your problem lies in your expectations! You want a curvy, hot or very good looking woman. Why not try looking for the average, content and down to earth girl? You might be a little more satisfied with your relationships! Just a thought...



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Posted on Tue, Nov 10, 2009 14:50

That's crazy. I'm a nice guy and I've been overlooked and neglected for a long time. Trying to find a good woman is like trying to find a good job. It's a hard thing to do right now. I'm one of the most boring kats that you can think of, but I'm very intelligent and talented. Most women don't find these qualities very attractive. They want the so-called "bad guy" The guy that stays in trouble with everybody and everything.

Let me come around with all I have to offer and I become like a can of Raid to an insect. I realize that nobody wants me, so I haven't looked in a long time. I don't feel the need to keep hitting my head up against the wall to realize that it hurts.

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Posted on Wed, Sep 30, 2009 22:48

Well, I for one, do know what I want.
I want a man with a good sense of himself, the golden rule, and integrity. Someone I can trust and who will trust me. A man who I can love on and who will love on me. Someone who is not afraid of affection or commitment. You know what, he can be boring. Nothing wrong with that. Why waste time and energy on drama when life can be fulfilling without it!?! Really, people- it's not that complicated. Life can be simple and satisfying.



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Posted on Mon, Sep 07, 2009 00:20

I agree with you 100%! Nice guys do end up being a door mat my friend is one and I am trying to help him out in that area.

Gentleman all the way *thumbs up*! :) !!



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Posted on Sun, Jul 06, 2008 21:00

After doing some soul searching, I have come to terms with the distinction between a "nice guy" and a gentleman.

You can be nice to women without handing her your balls on a platter. The typical "nice guy" feels the need to impress women by doing things for them. But that ends up making you more of a doormat than anything.

The gentleman, in my experience, is one who is confident and enjoys being around women. He is respectful and chivalrous, but has boundaries and expects respect in return.

The gentleman's life is also marked by having a passion. He spends a good portion of his time and attention to his life and his goals.

Don't take what I say as an absolute, but I've been a "nice guy" and I find that my path to becoming a "gentleman" has been much more rewarding.

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Posted on Tue, Jun 17, 2008 18:38

well i would like to think im a nice guy. and this nice guy would love to get to know you better

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Posted on Sat, Jun 07, 2008 20:33

Quoting graceofangels:

Nice guy and girls are over looked for one reason. The way they present themselves. Women do want a Prince Charming. But think about it, Prince Charming was never shy or timid. He knew he was a prince. He held himself in that regard.

It's confidence. Prince Charming was always confident. He knew who he was. Men and women who walk around knowing who they are, that they are not people you can just play with. They walk around as if they matter. People with those attitudes are the ones who get noticed.

You can still be a prince or nice or sweet. But you have to know what you are worth, what you will and will not put up with, and that you deserve to be treated accordingly. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. And it's something that can be seen even when you're just simply walking down the street.



I completely agree with this. I for one, love and adore nice guys, but it is almost impossible to get some of you guys to admit when you like us and by the time you do it, we are already spoken for. I honestly believe that it all comes down to confidence and a little risk taking. Come on "nice guy," you can do it, just go for it!!! Besides, nice girls don't bite. We will be gentle. :)



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Posted on Sun, May 11, 2008 21:37

I don't feel overlooked. And I am a nice guy, or so I think.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 26, 2007 10:34

HERE!HERE! I AGREE TOTALLY. U MUST HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF!



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Posted on Sun, Nov 12, 2006 21:59

Nice guy and girls are over looked for one reason. The way they present themselves. Women do want a Prince Charming. But think about it, Prince Charming was never shy or timid. He knew he was a prince. He held himself in that regard.

It's confidence. Prince Charming was always confident. He knew who he was. Men and women who walk around knowing who they are, that they are not people you can just play with. They walk around as if they matter. People with those attitudes are the ones who get noticed.

You can still be a prince or nice or sweet. But you have to know what you are worth, what you will and will not put up with, and that you deserve to be treated accordingly. There's a difference between confidence and arrogance. And it's something that can be seen even when you're just simply walking down the street.



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Posted on Thu, Oct 26, 2006 00:47

im glad it isnt just me who thinks like that x



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Posted on Fri, Oct 20, 2006 16:02

Probably "nice" is so general, that it means something different to everyone. Compatible might be a better word. I know I would love to meet someone that's close in age, religion, habits, beliefs, lifestyle, distance, etc. And of course would want him to be the type of person that is generally kind, affectionate, loyal, etc. Esp to me!



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Posted on Mon, Oct 16, 2006 10:51

It's amazing people's perceptions of 'nice' etc.

I'm financially independent, have a broad range of interests, topic of conversations, am relatively intelligent, told I am 'a good looking girl' etc. So how come the majority of men I meet think that I'm stupid enough to put up with being lied to, or put on the back burner, whilst they wait for something better to come along.

I think that the majority of men with their 'hidden agenda' have made us girls suspicious of the few good guys left out there.



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Posted on Tue, Oct 10, 2006 14:51

I just wanted to say that I am looking for a nice guy. But it isn't be that simple. I also look for someone with a variety of interests and the ability to carry on an interesting conversation. Someone with opinions and views that are somewhat different than mine make for interesting conversations. I don't want someone that will agree with everything I say and do everything I say. He needs to be his own person that while interested in spending time together doesn't get clingy or upset if we aren't together all the time. Chemistry is also important as several other people have already said. If it is too easy it quickly becomes uninteresting. Being nice doesn't mean boring!!



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Posted on Mon, Oct 09, 2006 14:43

It took me until the age of 44 to meet someone who treated me the way that I wanted to be treated, who does not feel that a relationship is another word for battle and who loves me just the way that I am. It took my man until the age of 49 to find the same. We both have said that after all of the bad relationships and heartache that we have both been through, we are amazed that we have found the love that we want and need at our stage in life. We are both very sensitive people who are "nice" people. So nice in fact that most of our heartache in relationships was due to the fact that neither of us believe in putting ourselves before the our mates. And like we both say, we wish that we had met earlier in life, but we know that we met one another when we needed to. Our relationship now, makes up for all of the bad ones in the past.

Sorry to rant on but just remember to be who you are. One day you and the lucky woman who gets you will be so happy that you did.

Peace out!!



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Posted on Mon, Oct 09, 2006 14:30

Yours is probably the most emotionally open post that I have ever read on this site. While I don't know you, I can only say that I think that it is a shame that you have been pressured by society to be something that you are not and from your nic and your letter, I don't think that you can be. At least not be it and feel good about yourself. You are trying to deal with women on a level which you cannot drop down to: you are trying to be a dog. While you really want to be a good man (and I do mean the word "good" as in nice, caring, thoughtful, etc.), you are willing to lower your standards and be fake just to be in the company of a woman. I understand that you did not meet many women when you were percieved as a "nice" guy. I understand that you are disappointed that you have not met your "Ms. Right" at the age of 28. Have you ever considered that you may not have met "Ms.Right" because it is not time for you to meet her yet? If I am not mistaken, I do believe that even though you have decided to be a "dog"--(not your word, but mine and defined earlier in this reply)--you are willing to enter into a relationship with a woman who wants to be treated well if you meet that kind of woman. Well, how will you know when you meet that kind of woman if you are planning to be a "dog" with the women that you meet? What if one of those women who you tend to treat in a non-respectful manner turns out to be someone who is supposed to be your mate? I do believe that the kind of woman that you truly want, will not come your way if you continue to be fake. And why should she? Why should a woman who wants to be treated the way that you used to treat women want to waste her time with a dog?

What I am posting is not meant to be judgmental or hurtful. I am just hoping that you see this from another view. There are so few unauthentic, unkind, unfeeling people in the world now that we cannot afford to lose someone like you. Take it from another sensitive person.



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Posted on Fri, Oct 06, 2006 14:15

I also believe that I am a good person because everyone I have held with high regards has told me so. I am now willing to have purely physical relationships, when only a year ago I would have refused them. I am changing the way I see and do things because finding true love seems impossible, so if anything about me appeals to you women out there that believe you are looking for a 'nice guy' then you may want to stop focusing on one specific detail about a man that makes you not want them, and focus on the things that make you desire them. Chemistry is learned, just about everything you could want in a person is a learned trait. The only thing I have found that is not a learned trait is love. That is something you just can't teach about, it either is there, or it isn't. You can teach a man to be more interesting, more desirable, but do you really want to? Do you want him to be so spontaneous that he decides to go out with another woman when he meets them in a supermarket?
Try to understand yourself and what you want, don't just move forward without looking back. You may say you want a 'nice guy' but if you don't really know that then you'll be waking up in 20 years deciding you want a little more spice in your life, and you'll break my heart by leaving me for a jerk who gives off a 'dangerous' vibe. If you wait too long, us nice guys will learn how to be selfish and arrogant so we can attract the attention of the majority of women, since being ourselves and being kind and respectful doesn't seem to do anything.
BTW, if your criteria involves a man who has a job who can support you, I quit my job to go back to school, and now live with my family so I can finish college. I no longer have a working car, and if you judge by the purely physical world, I am a nobody. All I have to offer is my friendship, my love, my opinions, and my mind. I can not even visit people in person because I have no car, and I would not expect a woman to go out of her way just to come visit me.



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