Wow, anytime anyone tries to manipulate you that much after you're in a relationship, it is time to boogie! I think every woman has attractive qualities physically, and what draws me in, then, is their mind and heart. In addition, I have a tremendous amount of respect for the women here who are able to speak out so freely on troublesome topics.
Rockchick, as with all groups of people there is a variety of types. Feeders range from mild to extreme; like the one in your TV story, but they are few. I found with my ladies that I loved to see their delicious curves and rolls develope and enlarge creating a bigger more beautiful woman. This usually occured over the winter months and was gone by fall. My exwife was a BBW of 167 lbs.when we marrried. She went to 210 because of the kids. Our life was misserable because of her bad comments and constant complaining about her weight. When she finally realized that I loved her for who she was and the way she was, life was fantastic. One year, she made a feeder of me; she knew I liked her BBW body, so she encouraged me to help her make more of her for me to love. To make a bigger beautiful woman with more to love and enjoy. She went from about 215 to 284 and we stopped there. She made me a feeder. We both thought that she looked absolutely fantastic and that was her perfect body.
My initial visceral response to the articulated feeder fetish must be that it is some kind of perverse inward turning of these guys who want to control the women around them. It reeks of some sado-masochistic impulse...and these guys are to be pitied.
I have read the stories in this thread and am struck by the spirit of all of you in going on with your lives. I love your definition of 'ssbbw' , be sweet. It is full of life-affirmation...I have written elsewhere of might discomfort of group labels which creat a lump group which really doesn't do a thing for me.
What I see in the world and what I have encountered in the world is an astonishing variety of people, both in size, shape and personality. Even as a young boy in school, I noted the merciless teasing and labeling of large people (called ugly, fat and obese). I didn't have that problem: I was a bean pole and lived an 'ordinary' life. I had plenty of encounters of all kinds in my youth and onwards. It was all meaningful, exciting and soooo good!
Rockchick, your story is moving and I also note your indomitable spirit whihch I find most appealing. It shows we have to go on with courage from wherever we stank.
TESS and Rockchick - thanks girls for the encouragement - it really means a lot to me - especially since if it wasnt for FL forums, I would never be able to talk to friends and family about some of this stuff that they dont even know about! With these forums it's like I have a whole new world of friends out there who understand where I am coming from!!!! IT's wonderful!
I've never encountered anything like that before. For me it's the usual "you're too fat" response. But thanks for the information, I will never let a guy do that to me.
opgirl, it's inspiring to me to hear that you are doing better without him and you have such a positive attitude!
Some of what you girls said in this forum made me think....It really bugs me that when people see someone who's large and curvy, they automatically assume that they have high cholestoral and all that jazz and that at any minute they're going to have an asthma attack. We're not going to keel over and die people! That was my rant for the day.
"YOU I LIKE BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN GOOD HEART EASYER TO TALK TO I LOVE TO HOLD HER HAND IT IS A TRUN ON
FOR ME IM A SUPER SIZE BIG HANDSOME MALE IM A DISABLE YOUNG GUY WHO LOVE THE BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN LIFESTYLE"
Psychologically speaking, one wonders if these men are just plain old insecure, feeding their women so much that they can only stay at home, in bed and dependent on their man. He has her all to himself.
This is a form of abuse, and the man perpetrates it so his girl can't be distracted by anybody or any outside influences.
Because she becomes dependent, they are both happy, until she dies or decides that she wants more than him.
ok, my friends. I was one of those woman on the opposite end. My man was obsessed in making me skinny, which in turn made me end up a BBW. I had my daugher, gained only 40 lbs. Then lost 60! I was down to 145 lbs and at 5'6", let's just say I was wearing a string bikini and having a good ol' time feeling sexy in my svelte little frame! But that wasnt good enought for my (ex)husband. He started getting into steroids. And worked out like a mad man. I met him when he was only 155 lbs! He is short 5'7' so it looked good on him and he was very toned. The steroids did a number on his ego and personality. I wasnt skinny enough and he started cheating on me with woman who were skinnier than me. Well, by now, my self esteem was in the dumps and I became addicted to diet pills while he was feeding me differnt kinds of steroids to get rid of my extra fat (what fat?!?!?!) it was gross. My body fought it all the way, I ended up having emergancy gall bladder removal, which acted up because how screwed up my body was. Well we ended up in divorce (thank goodness) and he married one of the girls he was cheating on me with. Someone who now gives him all he needs and wants while he still does 'roids and cheats around. Guess she doesnt mind all that? Anyway, that was 2 years ago, and I got help for all the emotional issues. And a year ago I finally gave up the pills. YEAH!!! And I gained 100 lbs. Yes, I now am 245 lbs. My body relaxed it self and just piled on everything I was trying to keep off. Had all kinds of blood work done and I have excellent cholestrol levels. My thyroid is normal. My blood sugar is normal. So all my bloodwork numbers are normal and healthy (also took every kind of STD and Aids test they have with that bloodwork because of all that cheating my ex did and luckily I am totally clean!!! Sigh of relief - minus one that I know I have and will have to live with forever that he gave me) So here I am two years later, finally coming to grips with myself and the way I look. Yes, I hope someday I loose the weight again. But I am not going to ever do pills to get it done. But until then, everyday I feel more and more comfortable in my skin!!!
Love ya all!!! You all are a great inspiration!!!! XOXOXOXOXO
hello cassa51 here from england. you are lucky over there, most men in this country, dont like bbw's or ssbbw like me. there are some but not many. It makes me nad that they see my size before they see me.
First off I'm not trying to Justify feeding a woman to death BUT....
I alot of guys minds "If a little is good then alot is better!" This is the same rationale' that leads men to buy their wives gigantic breast implants (the biggest I've heard of Chelsea Charms with a 158-ZZZ bra size), or the oppisite when men force women the lose so much weight that they look as if they just left a concentration camp. These are men who suffer from ego problems, they don't want the smallest, or fattest, or biggested breasted woman for any reason except to parade them around and say that "I have this and you don't."
Conversly, women with low self esteem in many cases will submit to what ever "abuse" is administered out of fear of being left alone and never finding anyone else.
This being said, when two people with these personality traits meet the affect is extreme. So its NOT the guys fault for wanting the woman "bigger", in his eyes he may believe that it is making her more beautiful.
I love big women and I know that there is nothing that I can nor want to do about that (except get to know more :)), and for these men perhaps the only help for them is a "Strong" BBW who can put them in their place and and help find a solution to their problem.
Fetishes of BBW's or SSBBW's are charged by a s*xual desire or need by the person who finds a large lady attractive. If a man sees me as a FETISH....than his interest is generally, but not always, for his sole personal gratification. I've met feeders and feedees...for some it's role play for other's its a way of life.
Certain fetish lifestyles are bizarre to comprehend, but people engage in them all the time. I know this may cause debate, but a fetish is just what it is...a want, need or desire that fuels a man or woman's libido but doesn't mean they fall in love..it's more motivated by lust.
I think the human body is a beautiful thing..but I would not let any person 'make' me overeat for their pleasure...and I wouldn't stay with someone who would abandon me if I lost weight. Body image is a serious issue that all people deal with, no matter if you are very thin or obese.
I'm not saying people with fetishes are depraved individuals, but I don't think I'd ever be a feedee...so a feeder wouldn't be a person I'd 'hang out' with or date. I'm not into 'feeding' someone's passion when it would be at my expense on any level. I met a man on a blind date who 'loved' big women, and he wanted to feed me all sorts of food on our first date. I was a bit wierded out and asked him why he thought I'd want to consume so much food, and his reply was "all fat women over eat, why should you be an exception".
The irony is ...not all overweight people over indulge...and I was disgusted by the thought of eating what he had suggested. I asked him why it was so important I eat so much and he said that all his gf's are super big and I wasn't FAT enough yet to be considered gf material. I laughed...ended the date as quickly as I could and discovered many years later I had met my first feeder. UGH!
I don't know but it kind of creeps me out. And before anyone says anything, let me explain...
I'm not an object. I'm a living, breathing, walking, talking, feeling human being. I'm also comfortable in my own skin. I'm smart, able to carry on conversations, and yes, on most occassions, I have an opinion. Whenever I see someone's profile and it says anything to the effect of "Looking for a SSBBW" or "BBW's turn me on" or "Needing some BBW love", etc. I usually run, quite fast, the other direction. Now, you might be saying to yourself that I'm pretty judgemental. Maybe I am, but I've also been around the dating scene long enough that most of them are just looking for a fat girl to make it with. I'm not saying all of them are, I said MOST of them, and frankly, I don't have the time to waste.
Like the WHOLE package guys, not just because I'm a BBW. Like me for WHO I am, not WHAT I am.