It is only a sickness if 1} The man refuses to properly care for and take responsibility for his LOVE- what, did I say Love? That's right- a sexual preference without total love is a fetish, whether it be an s/m fantasy, shoes, blonde hair, whatever. If two people share the same turn-ons, how can you judge their right to a sexual/emotional bond that satisfies both? There ARE men who just want to fatten a girl up for all the wrong reasons, but no one semms to call a man who wants a woman to LOSE weight down to near-skeletal a fetishist- but in reality, most men who do that ARE fetishists are do so for CONTROL and are brainwashed by a thin=worshipping society. And 2} Most men (not including those experienced in loving and caring for extreme weight BBWs; men like myself) simply are overwhelmed by the responsibilty (such as making sure she has water excercise, free of bed sores, learns the art of hair cutting, cooking and all the needs of life required by such a relationship). I'm a wonderful guy who is naturally attracted to women over 500lbs., and judges like yourselves are worse than society branding what I consider beautiful as pariahs! Go after the real sickos- the diet and weight loss industry gurus!
lvbbwbikini, thats good that you love your wife larger, and well, that you Both wanted to weight to come on, however, you didnt allow your wife to become in-capacatated, reliant on you for everything, she is still mobile and obviosuly her self esteem is still in tact, I am talking about the extremes where totall control is the issue and no regard for the health and well being of the partner .... glad your wife is happy with her new curves
Wow, anytime anyone tries to manipulate you that much after you're in a relationship, it is time to boogie! I think every woman has attractive qualities physically, and what draws me in, then, is their mind and heart. In addition, I have a tremendous amount of respect for the women here who are able to speak out so freely on troublesome topics.
Rockchick, as with all groups of people there is a variety of types. Feeders range from mild to extreme; like the one in your TV story, but they are few. I found with my ladies that I loved to see their delicious curves and rolls develope and enlarge creating a bigger more beautiful woman. This usually occured over the winter months and was gone by fall. My exwife was a BBW of 167 lbs.when we marrried. She went to 210 because of the kids. Our life was misserable because of her bad comments and constant complaining about her weight. When she finally realized that I loved her for who she was and the way she was, life was fantastic. One year, she made a feeder of me; she knew I liked her BBW body, so she encouraged me to help her make more of her for me to love. To make a bigger beautiful woman with more to love and enjoy. She went from about 215 to 284 and we stopped there. She made me a feeder. We both thought that she looked absolutely fantastic and that was her perfect body.
My initial visceral response to the articulated feeder fetish must be that it is some kind of perverse inward turning of these guys who want to control the women around them. It reeks of some sado-masochistic impulse...and these guys are to be pitied.
I have read the stories in this thread and am struck by the spirit of all of you in going on with your lives. I love your definition of 'ssbbw' , be sweet. It is full of life-affirmation...I have written elsewhere of might discomfort of group labels which creat a lump group which really doesn't do a thing for me.
What I see in the world and what I have encountered in the world is an astonishing variety of people, both in size, shape and personality. Even as a young boy in school, I noted the merciless teasing and labeling of large people (called ugly, fat and obese). I didn't have that problem: I was a bean pole and lived an 'ordinary' life. I had plenty of encounters of all kinds in my youth and onwards. It was all meaningful, exciting and soooo good!
Rockchick, your story is moving and I also note your indomitable spirit whihch I find most appealing. It shows we have to go on with courage from wherever we stank.
TESS and Rockchick - thanks girls for the encouragement - it really means a lot to me - especially since if it wasnt for FL forums, I would never be able to talk to friends and family about some of this stuff that they dont even know about! With these forums it's like I have a whole new world of friends out there who understand where I am coming from!!!! IT's wonderful!
I've never encountered anything like that before. For me it's the usual "you're too fat" response. But thanks for the information, I will never let a guy do that to me.
opgirl, it's inspiring to me to hear that you are doing better without him and you have such a positive attitude!
Some of what you girls said in this forum made me think....It really bugs me that when people see someone who's large and curvy, they automatically assume that they have high cholestoral and all that jazz and that at any minute they're going to have an asthma attack. We're not going to keel over and die people! That was my rant for the day.
"YOU I LIKE BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN GOOD HEART EASYER TO TALK TO I LOVE TO HOLD HER HAND IT IS A TRUN ON
FOR ME IM A SUPER SIZE BIG HANDSOME MALE IM A DISABLE YOUNG GUY WHO LOVE THE BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN LIFESTYLE"
WOW opgirl ....thats SOME STORY !!! good for you that you got rid of the HIMBO .... seems from one end of the scale to the other are just as dangerous as eachother ... I am glad you are comfy in the skin you are in ... u are a very attractive girl, and if you dont already have a bloke.... the one who comes along will be more then happy with you I am sure .... keep up the positive attitude .... :)
Psychologically speaking, one wonders if these men are just plain old insecure, feeding their women so much that they can only stay at home, in bed and dependent on their man. He has her all to himself.
This is a form of abuse, and the man perpetrates it so his girl can't be distracted by anybody or any outside influences.
Because she becomes dependent, they are both happy, until she dies or decides that she wants more than him.
ok, my friends. I was one of those woman on the opposite end. My man was obsessed in making me skinny, which in turn made me end up a BBW. I had my daugher, gained only 40 lbs. Then lost 60! I was down to 145 lbs and at 5'6", let's just say I was wearing a string bikini and having a good ol' time feeling sexy in my svelte little frame! But that wasnt good enought for my (ex)husband. He started getting into steroids. And worked out like a mad man. I met him when he was only 155 lbs! He is short 5'7' so it looked good on him and he was very toned. The steroids did a number on his ego and personality. I wasnt skinny enough and he started cheating on me with woman who were skinnier than me. Well, by now, my self esteem was in the dumps and I became addicted to diet pills while he was feeding me differnt kinds of steroids to get rid of my extra fat (what fat?!?!?!) it was gross. My body fought it all the way, I ended up having emergancy gall bladder removal, which acted up because how screwed up my body was. Well we ended up in divorce (thank goodness) and he married one of the girls he was cheating on me with. Someone who now gives him all he needs and wants while he still does 'roids and cheats around. Guess she doesnt mind all that? Anyway, that was 2 years ago, and I got help for all the emotional issues. And a year ago I finally gave up the pills. YEAH!!! And I gained 100 lbs. Yes, I now am 245 lbs. My body relaxed it self and just piled on everything I was trying to keep off. Had all kinds of blood work done and I have excellent cholestrol levels. My thyroid is normal. My blood sugar is normal. So all my bloodwork numbers are normal and healthy (also took every kind of STD and Aids test they have with that bloodwork because of all that cheating my ex did and luckily I am totally clean!!! Sigh of relief - minus one that I know I have and will have to live with forever that he gave me) So here I am two years later, finally coming to grips with myself and the way I look. Yes, I hope someday I loose the weight again. But I am not going to ever do pills to get it done. But until then, everyday I feel more and more comfortable in my skin!!!
Love ya all!!! You all are a great inspiration!!!! XOXOXOXOXO
hello cassa51 here from england. you are lucky over there, most men in this country, dont like bbw's or ssbbw like me. there are some but not many. It makes me nad that they see my size before they see me.