So I met some one for the first time from this site. I have to say, What a bad taste it put in my mouth to meet guys from here. He hasn't even called me ever since. At this point I just want to know why. I never wanted a relationship from him. It ticks me off beyond belief and I almost want to change my view on the whole jerk list and say lets go for it. But I know its just because I am steamed about the lack of consideration this guy has and the fact that hes SUCH a PIG!! Grrr
Rockchick- Thats hilarious that you think I look like her! I looked up jan spears and I can see where you would think that from this picture. Its not so much true though..so I think its time to update my pictures!
Modgal--I tottally feel your pain on that! I'm still looking for "the one" but until I find him, I'm gonna have a WHOLE LOTTA FUN BABY!! lol You have to have fun with it and you have to be able to laugh about it later. It s*cks for a while but it will get better; that I promise! Lisa
You know, I found some very weird guys at this site. Some were pure w*horedogs just looking for a place to do the cybernasty. They sweet talk you and all and then start the s*x talk. That was when I backed away. There are so many signs that a guy (or a girl) are pondscum who use the internet for a playground.
I had tons of flirts and e-mails when I was very active at this site and I also sent out flirts. Out of about 50 or 60 guys I only found one who was honest about who he was. I am marrying him this Sunday. He is the only guy who didn't try to impress me and is the only guy that I fell in love with.
About spouting names, I don't do that. Sure I can give you a lengthy list of jerks, but I feel that if I do that I am stooping to their level. Just chalk your experiences up to lessons and e-mail the jerk's name to potential suitors that he may hurt.
Modgal--I'm sorry to hear that. You're too young to have had such heartbreak and I can certainly understand your reluctance in the opposite gender. I'm sure you've heard this before but keep your chin up; it will happen for you and when you least expect it to. I've had to do some self reflection and for me, I realized in some of my past relationships that I wasn't as strong and self assured as I could have and should have been. When you're self assured and confident, it tends to scare off a vast majority of the a$$holes. They don't want to have to work to win you over, so they get bored or ticked off and move on. I'm not saying that this happens in call cases and you may have to weed through allot of the jerks/a$$holes/sociopaths to get to the good ones, but when you do, it's all worth it. I try to always listen to my inner voice. Always trust your gut; it will never steer you wrong.
Well being a NEWBIE at the site... I am GLAD this poster originated this thread. You just have to WATCH OUT out there and unfortunately there are JERKS who can prey on a larger gals feelings too and just the whole thing. I am glad I am now on alert and I'm VERY glad classy brought this up for us newbies on here. THANK YOU CLASSY!!
Rockchick, I'm thankful for your insight, but it helps me to believe that he knew he wasn't good enough for me! LOL I guess everyone deals with heartache differently. Just because he treated me badly, doesn't mean that I still don't want to meet a NICE GENTLEMAN from the UK. I'm thinking that someone must be sick of living there and like it better here on the west coast of Florida with me when I get there! LOL I have to laugh at everything, too, or I might be too upset about it. But, before I go, thanks for your wonderful comments! I do agree, I'm just trying to sew together my poor broken heart at this point. (sigh)
Gwoods: It very well could be the same guy. I don't know. He's on about 6 different dating sites I've discovered and he's being quite the casanova. LOL!! I suppose it wouldn't hurt so bad had he not wasted my time and his coming here to see me twice. And I was lead to believe that we were having a romantic relationship. Little did I know, he was making all sorts of arrangements with other women as we were having our 'together time.' Made me feel like such a fool. Just as someone said, just as I let my guard down I get burned. And burned bad.......
Teeree--I think we believe it because we want so much to believe its true. We naturally want to believe the best in people, even if we've been hurt in the past, that's human nature.
The problem is that there are so many people out there that take advantage of that and tell people what they think they want to hear, just for self gratification. That, in my humble opinion, is a LIE, and I don't tolerate liars well. Frankly, in my humble opinion, neither should anyone else. Why should we enable them to continue their debauchery? I too, am a veteran of the dating scene and I know that if it looks like a rat, it smells like a rat and it acts like a rat.....it's a rat.
But alas, I'm also adult enough to realize that there are 2 sides to every story and in some cases, all is not what it appears to be. I have had my fair share of heartbreak in my life that has left me feeling quite bitter at times. I also realize though, that bitterness and hate is quite a load to carry. A load that I no longer wish to carry.
I guess what I'm saying is this is a really fine line that we need to watch before we cross. We all just need to be more aware of our situations and also be aware of what we say, when we say it, and how we say it. Also, we need to be aware of our actions too, because in most caes, actions speak louder then words.
Hello Teeree2 I agree with you , I also thought the profiles were censored but some I have received have been very explicit ( I am no prude ) so now I wonder . It appears the *ex word is not allowed but an indepth description of what he wants to do is !! Once or twice I have thought I was mistakenly on the wrong site . I am not offended but very curious as to how they got approved . Cheers
kewannap: i would only put out a list of names. i would keep the comments to myself, yet i would add "for further info, contact me" and let it all hang out. i would not openly diss someone in a forum...that's just wrong. nothing unethical about listing a group of names, tho...
muddilyn: holy cow. you win. you're the queen. you have total immunity in my book. that gay thing is my single biggest relationship fear. may the force be with you, girl!
Lonesome dove your guy sounds very much like the one I was talking to always an excuse for everything very sweet with words. I guess we all learn and move on I know that is what I have done. I do not think they understand or maybe just do not care that their deceit and lies do hurt. I wish you the best even if it is not the same guy we both deserve better than what they had to offer.
This subject really has opened the door to some wonderful varied opinions which are great to read .
I must be a hard person because my compassion is stretched to the limit when someone delibrately sets out to be deceitful . I realise we all make mistakes & mess up but I see no need to invent several identies or lives as some people have done . I do not take it well when it happens to me & it has on many occasions as I am a veteran at the dating scene & I can see by reading the forums that it is not unusual .
I only date men so they are all I can speak of inway of personal experiences .I try not to be cynical or suspicious but it seems when I let my guard down is when I get stung the worst . One bloke told so many fibs even he did not know the truth anymore & his wife ended up contacting me & exposing him for having several women "on the go " .She tolerated him but felt sorry for his victims . He was nonplussed & could not care less when confronted.
I almost married another who was the "love of my life " after we had been together for two years I discovered that almost his entire story was fabricated. Harmless lies but lies just the same he had not been honest about anything & was seeing someone else the whole time in a gay relationship . Shock in itself but possibly not as much as learning everything was a fib, even innocent stuff.
Every time I think I have it sussed out someone comes along who is just that one step ahead !! Cheers all
The issue I have is with this site. They say they screen profiles, not sure what they screen them for. I have had blatantly married men send me emails solicting the physical. I believe I am pretty specific in my profile in that I am not interested in men that are involved in the least. How many of you are paying members of this site? I love to read the message boards, very much fun. I bet we could post a few names of men or women that have been less than sincere and find that we dealt with some of the same people. There was one man that was from the Netherlands that said he loved me after 3 or 4 emails, do people REALLY believe that sort of thing? Or is it me?
You know, some of these guys should be put on a list. I was just taken for the ride of my life. And he's doing it to someone else from this site. I mean, maybe I'm just bitter, but, in my opinion, I almost feel it my obligation to warn her he's talking to all sorts of women on all sorts of sites and telling us all the same things. Reciting Shakespeare, telling all of us we'd look just lovely in bathing suits. LOL!! Well, maybe I should wait till I'm over the hurt before I go naming someone on a list. But I think it could be beneficial.