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How do you handle the loneliness?
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Posted on Fri, May 06, 2005 13:29

Hey guys.... I am fairly new to this particular site, but I love it. I have posted my opinion on a few posts and I love reading everyone's perspective on matters.

My question is... how do you handle being lonely? I must say that I don't handle it too well. I don't really have any single friends to go hang out with... my friends are married and have lives of their own. I can't stand going to the movies by myself or going out to eat alone.... so I find myself sitting alone at home every night and every weekend.

So if you are in my neck of the woods and you too want someone to just hang out with (male or female), let me know!

  


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Posted on Sun, May 15, 2005 20:12

I would like to thank all of you who took the time to share your thoughts and ideas with me. I do want to say that I am not as pathetic as I think some may think I am. I was basically out to see if there are any in my area who were looking for friends. I love myself and I have my kids and family.... it would just be nice to have someone to hang with. I guess I worded my original post wrong. I love to chat and talk.... so if you ever need someone to talk to... you can catch me with the same username on the place with the yellowface.

I have been talking with someone from this site who is a really great guy and I look forward to meeting him in person within the next month or so.

  


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Posted on Sun, May 15, 2005 19:53

Willow said it exactly the way I also feel. I mean, sure it's nice to have company but you've just got to learn that YOU are about the only person who you can count on. Having company is great but, you've got to admit, other people can somtimes be really annoying. Just try to lift your spirits and confidence and learn about yourself; I'm sure that you'll find that your best friend is right inside of yourself.



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Posted on Sun, May 15, 2005 12:39

kewannap,
I wish I was in your neck of the woods - we could go to a movie and have LOTS of girl talk about the guy 'things' - haha
Seriously, I think loneliness is what you make of it - if I want to be around people....I get out there....if not....then I think I'm my best company.



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Posted on Thu, May 12, 2005 00:47

well scoot I am sure if it had of been you who asked the question , you would have had the same responses from us girlies ;) I am sure that the advice given on this topic has no gender... guys and gals can take it on board ...

  


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Posted on Wed, May 11, 2005 21:19

I just wanted to make an observation about this topic and similar ones... when it comes to talk about deep or very special issues that (we all) may go through in our lives, such as loneliness, or sentimental rejection or stuff like that, 99% of the responses and support comes from other women to women ( that is great), but why is that?.. do other boys don't really care?, or consider it to be girl-talk?, or simply can't come out with something good, or supportive?...
Boys get lonely too, and sad or need a girl (thats why we are here, isn't it?) - the majority of us, at least -
....

  


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Posted on Tue, May 10, 2005 22:32

Like everything.. balance is a big part of our live. Its good to be alone some of the time. There are times when i find being alone the best thing, but there are times when i want to be with a buddy. There are people everywhere that are looking for friends.. you just gotta find them, try looking somewhere you wouldnt usually look... and who cares.. go to a movie, shopping by yourself.. its no big deal.



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Posted on Tue, May 10, 2005 17:14

I agree w/ Rockchick-- try and not look at it as being "alone" but its YOU time. When I first became single years ago I just refused to become a hermit and learned to enjoy my own company ...after all no one to argue with about where to go, what to see, etc...lol :)



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Posted on Tue, May 10, 2005 10:00

Thanks for all the suggestions. I will try some of them. Have a great day.



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Posted on Tue, May 10, 2005 09:45

Hi,

The lonliness can get pretty bad, I separated from mate because he didnt like me heavy, I know I am beautiful inside and out, I deal with lonliness by doing something to pamper me, buy something just for me, play my favorite music and dance, enjoy being with the fabulous u, You can always e-mail me I will be glad to e-mail u back, You are special and start to realize that ok?>>>>>>>>curlytop664



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Posted on Tue, May 10, 2005 02:12

Hey kew , a lot of good advice given here, getting into group activities and stuff are a good thing, but my two cents worth is, and it may sound a little strange, but learn to enjoy your own company ... use the alone time as not being "alone" but to fill the time with personal activities, maybe craft, or watching a good flick, I spose its easy for me to say cause when I do find myself with alone time, i like it ... and I am not sure of your situation, but learning to like hanging with "you" can make things easier .... hmmmm do I sound like a wack job (as u guys call it)?? lol

  


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Posted on Sat, May 07, 2005 08:32

Is there a college near you? At lots of the community colleges around here you can take classes on different subjects...jewelry making, cooking, pottery, candy making and stuff like that at night. They are usually cheap.. $40 or so for several classes. They have huge catalogs of neat classes like that, most of the people in their have plenty of free time so it might be a great place to meet people, men and woman. Plus it gives you a reason to get out and be there and more of a chance to meet someone cause you are in a class with them.



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Posted on Fri, May 06, 2005 16:27

If you are uncomfortable being alone, thats actually a good thing. It will help to get out there and try new things (remember all those things you said you wanted to do.......well nows the time to do them).

I am not making lite of your issues with lonelyness they are real but you are already taking the first steps to changing that your here on this site. the rest will follow in time... (not what you wanted to hear).

Better your continued uncomfortability with being alone then becoming to used to it which is the real danger.



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Posted on Fri, May 06, 2005 14:19

My suggestion would be if it's something that's bothering you a lot, find a club/evening class in something that you enjoy doing, or maybe have always wanted to learn.

I belong to an amateur drama group, ok, there's not many single people in that either, but at least it gets me out the house for at least one night a week doing something I enjoy and have fun doing. We have a laugh, when we're not working on a production we'll organise ourselves to go out and see some productions going on in nearby theatres. We usually have at least one party a year as well (usually more though :)).

When my father died my mum took up some evening classes, things like first aid and bridge (though obviously not both at the same time (not sure bridge is known for needing any first aiders is it? :))). I took up learning to make lace for a while as well as an evening class, we had some fun chats as I recall, sitting there in class with a load of bobbins sat in front of me, wondering if I'd ever get the hang of twisting them around each other so they made something with a recognisable pattern.

It can be a bit daunting to go to these things on your own at first, but I've usually found it's really on the first time you go that's the problem, like a first day at a new job when you don't know anyone, by the time you go back again for the second time/day, someone's bound to come up and say hi to you.

  


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