is something wrong with me? Message board

  • View author's info Author posted on Apr 23, 2005 16:52

    I dont understand why I can't meet someone on here that is just interested in a relationship. When I ask them why they like BBW's they asll say "they are grateful fir the attention" whats wrong with men ?
  • 26Comments

  • View author's info posted on May 28, 2006 15:50

    Country Girl
    Some men---like some women---are just self-centered jerks. Some men, just like some women, are worth the effort to get to know better....don't give up the ship. Just as there are men out there that are really very attracted to BBW women, there are also men out there that will like you for yourself as well and have an interest in getting to know you. To use an old cliche: one bad apple doesn't ruin the whole barrel---and even if the whole barrel is rotten, look around, there's a lot of apple orchards in the world! There are good apples out there( I should know, I'm from Washington state---we're famous for apples!)
    Best of fortune to you!
  • View author's info posted on May 27, 2006 07:22

    kimmi1970 write:

    If they aren't going to make the effort to read my profile, I probably won't make the effort to respond. I'm sure we could all find mr one night if thats what we wanted, but I'm not going to settle... lol

    Good for you, girl! That's what I'm talking about!
  • View author's info posted on May 26, 2006 22:58

    Steve-o, while I'm glad you've learned to appreciate fat women, I think part of the reason why fat women continually question male interest is because of the very reason you stated - that fat women are viewed as the fall back option when a man is too intimidated to approach thin women. Speaking for myself, as a fat woman, I'm tired of being the fall back option, the "cute but chubby best friend," and all the other ways fat women are marginalized by popular media and, subsequently, by men and thin-to-average women alike. Not to get all Oprah on you, but I'm the leading lady, the star of my own life. I don't live my life in the margins, and I want to date a man who sees me as I am and doesn't consider me a fall back option. Until fat women feel less marginalized, and we can move out of the fat-girl dating ghetto and meet men on all kinds of websites who don't fetishize us for our fat or see us as a fall back option, we will continually ask the question, in our hearts or with our mouths, what do men find attractive about us? Is it just that we're "non-threatening," or can you be attracted to us for all we are? (BTW, fat women can be VERY threatening; just give me a rifle and step back.)

    Countrygirl, the only thing wrong with you is that you feel a need to ask yourself that question. Consider this: internet dating, while it has opened the lines of connection & communication for all of us in so many ways, has also ruined the dating world. The internet has made it so much easier for men in search of casual sex to find it without openly admitting that's what they're doing, and thereby get around feeling bad about themselves for doing it. If these men were in a bar or club, they'd run a much higher risk of getting shot down by the women they approach, and it's obvious to everyone what they're after. Now they only need to invest a few days, or sometimes just a few hours, of feigning interest in a lonely soul through online chatting, and they can be rewarded with sex at the end of it. Obviously, there are plenty of men and women who have no problem looking for casual sex online. But I'm talking about those people - specifically men - who are willing to play the game of chatting with a lonely woman with the intent to convince her to have casual sex. My recommendation for all women, whether you meet him online, at a club, or at the grocery store, is to not have sex on the first date, no matter how much you desire an intimate physical connection. Once women start demanding better treatment, I believe the number of men who troll the internet seeking lonely souls for casual sex will decrease exponentially. Just say no!!
  • View author's info posted on May 19, 2006 02:25

    Hello Country,

    I don't think that there is anything wrong with you per se. I have come to the conclusion that some of the members are testing the waters of their self esteem status to see if they will actually get a response. When they do,
    some seem to not know where to go from there. Have you noticed that some view and re- view your profile? To me it is a message of uncertainty. I am intrigued
    by those who are upfront and honest at
    least they seem to know what they want!

    unless...they can't help but to keep
    looking at the profile. I have found myself doing that to a couple of guys!

    Best wishes...I think you are a good looking woman and they need to look closer than they are allowing themselves to.
  • View author's info posted on May 08, 2005 13:24

    toketee write:
    WoooHooo Scooot!

    Hey, if the man who becomes my Prince Charming wants to think of me as 'his fetish' as well as the love of his life... thats okay with me.

    That's what I'm-talking-about !
  • View author's info posted on May 06, 2005 06:28

    Steve, thanks for you post. It kept me chuckling but also gave me the vital guy perpective...Have a good one! By the way, you''re such a good guy to help out your friend like that!
  • View author's info posted on May 05, 2005 23:19

    I actually heard a female friend the other day complaining about all the fat girls getting laid while she wasn't. Says her hubby ain't putting out. I've been trying to be a good friend and neighbor and am going over tomorrow night with some wine and viagra to talk things over with her. And yes, I'm kidding about the viagra. Crane, maybe.
  • View author's info posted on May 05, 2005 23:16

    You don't really want to hear the rest of this but the part cut off that I remember is that I've never gone to bed with an ugly gal. But I have woke up with some. That's what drinking and not thinking does. Like I've said before, I'm and easy date. Just say, Steve-bed, and I'm unclothed and smiling on my back.
  • View author's info posted on May 01, 2005 12:45

    Grrr... wish your post had not been cut off Steve.

    Your honesty is both refreshing AND enlightening. The BOLD truth helps us to understand the opposite s@x more. And for whatever the reason the "fat" girl gets chosen, it's STILL an opportunity to show who she is on the inside. Dont waste that chance!
  • View author's info posted on May 01, 2005 11:45

    Try this on for size folks, maybe the reason lots of men are attracted or at least try for the larger lady, is because of his self confidence. A guy sees a total babe and feels he isn't worthy because he doesn't think he's a total hunk. But the gal who is maybe a litle rounder and larger doesn't intimidate him and that makes him bolder. There were times when I was so afraid of being seen the goof in the eyes of some cheerleader or "in" girl, I would say nothing. Better to appear the fool than prove them right, something like that. Now, I have realized that I'm so damn hot, they aren't worthy and my needs are so great, it takes a large, lovely lady to fill them. And, as I said once in another post, at some time or another, some of these men have gotten an easy piece of a$$ of a big gal and they go back to the well for more. I admit in my younger days, if I was at the bar and it was getting close to closing time, I would look for the "fat" girl and start romancing her, figuring that my chances were pretty good. And in college, when lots of kids are trying to fit in, there were those girls who would fall for my crap. The drunker, the better. The only positive, for me, was that I learned to appreciate a gal with some meat on ner bones. Even if I didn't know the girl's name, I'm bad I know, I had some great times in the sack. I'm not proud of some of the things I did or the way I treated some girls, but I was a stupid kid of 41, just kidding. But I was young, dumb, and full of c*m. And to this day, there are still occasions where I'll be out, start talking to some lady who may be alone because her cute friend has all the guys drooling and begging for a dance, we hit it off and yada yada yada, we are having breakfast together. I wonder if large guys have this problem, girls thinking they are easy because of their size, but what am I saying, guys are easy. And just to show that I can be as shallow as the next dude, I've joked that I've ...
  • View author's info posted on Apr 30, 2005 14:02


    If they aren't going to make the effort to read my profile, I probably won't make the effort to respond. I'm sure we could all find mr one night if thats what we wanted, but I'm not going to settle... lol
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 10:37

    I understand that there has to be some level of physical attraction, but I'm not going to be with someone just because of the way the look. By the same token, don't be with me just because I'm BBW. If that's part of it, great, but don't make that part of me your main focus.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 28, 2005 03:41

    kimmi1970 write:
    the guys just wanting to "hook up" and I added "don't bother" to my profile.

    I find that they don't even bother to read the profile. I've had my pic on the profile or a link to a homepage and I still get asked for a photo. I've filled it out with nothing remotely sexual and get asked often if I wanna meet for some discreet fun.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 27, 2005 19:29

    WoooHooo Scooot!

    Hey, if the man who becomes my Prince Charming wants to think of me as 'his fetish' as well as the love of his life... thats okay with me.

    Heck, when I look at a man, I'm not about to say that I dont look at his body. Of course, I put more value in the total package. Lets be realist here.

    I do hear and understand what your saying ladies, and for a very small percentage of men I would agree. But on the whole, men are no different than women. They just tend to verbalize their thoughts more openly and blatently then we women do. Try not to interpret more into what may be there.

    Have a great day !
  • View author's info posted on Apr 27, 2005 11:29

    CurvyCurly write:
    Ahh yes, the fetish thing. I think you nailed it in terms of what bugs me about it: These men see us as objects for fantasy, fun and s-e-x and not as people with real emotions. .........
    .......I realize I am making generalizations, .........

    In all fairness, I (as a man) think that if I am looking for love, of course there is more than the actual feelings involved. Explain: I prefer BBW because I do, Just like any other people would be attracted to eye color, skin color, or accents, or etnicity, any other tangible features, there is indeed a physical factor to be considered in a relationship. Not just one or two. It is needed to find the right balance. Honestly if I find someone to have a relationship with or marry, of course that it has to be a 'natural' turn on about my future (or present if you are married) wife, that keeps me hungry for her, to need her body as much as I need her soul and brains. I guess I would feel fortunate to not only be in-love with my girl, but she can also be my fetish and fantasy. whether it makes any sense or not, that is how I feel.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 27, 2005 11:09

    I've run into that a lot as well on my instant messenger, guys who find out I'm not a size 5 and either get rude with me, or ignore me. If you're not interested, fine, but you don't have to be an jackass... then there are the guys just wanting to "hook up" and I added "don't bother" to my profile. If I wanted to hook up I could do that anywhere, but I'm actually hoping there is a decent guy out there who appreciates my finer qualities. :)
  • View author's info posted on Apr 25, 2005 22:08

    this is the first time ive come on this site and i just wanna say im really impressed. Finally some intelligent strong women talking sense. I dont wanna be seens as a fetish object either i just want to be treated like a normal person and not have ppl pointing or laughing and thats about all I have to say well thats a lie cos I can talk for england.
  • View author's info posted on Apr 25, 2005 16:40

    Ty christi it's nice to hear a compliment. I am sure you will find someone too. all the men out there you are passing up a lot of good women
  • View author's info posted on Apr 25, 2005 16:39

    Oh yes, I have only gotten one of these guys. All he was interested in was my panty size. He was egyptian and had the sexist voice, but the questions were way beyond personal.
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