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Mind your manners or Caveman Dwellers
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Posted on Thu, Apr 21, 2005 22:44

Hi.... I thought I would post this one tonight as a favor to a member here. She recently had a "date" if you could call it that. Imagine this... she had been contacted by a guy that she thought was "nice". They were e-mailing each other for a while before they decided to meet. When they did meet, there were a couple of choice restaurants. There were certain factors involved. She only had an hour break so they would have to eat light. There is a diner, a TGIFridays and a Burger King restaurant in the area. I'll give you three guesses where he took her to for the date. Let's just sa sh was a bit mortified by the situation. After he orders a whopper through a drive-thru window, he proceeds parking nearby to talk to her. She's now even a bit more embarassed. After he's had his fill, he starts rubbing her neck and then wants to make out with her. After she took his hand away, he drove her back to where she worked. She couldn't tell her co-workers or friends because she was too embarrassed by the whole situation. Now tell me something... Do some mae members think that the female members of this site are actually desperate for attention and affection that they have to act like slobs and always looking for quick intimate moments (I was censored for using the S-word) How about showing more manners when actually meeting someone? Establish where exactly you want to take her as far as restaurants are concerned (fast food joints are NOT an option). Don't start talking about intimacy until after you've dated a few times and after you've developed some sort of chemistry. Don't assume that a woman will sleep with you on the first date. How about acting ike a gentleman instead of trying to score with the next fifty women? I felt bad because we're not all like that. I don't want to feel like I have to apologize for the male race every time they screw up big. In this case, to this woman, I apologize. I just keep hoping this doesn't become a habit. Hope to hear f...



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Posted on Fri, May 06, 2005 14:20

Ok, this is my first time doing this online thing, EVER. Now I'm getting freaked out. I've been single for about a year because I've been home taking care of my little boy. What I want all of you guys winking at me to know is that I am in no way looking to have "one-fun-night" with some random guy. I've had a few guys chat with me at the Y and within minutes, the conversation goes down the toilet! So if anyone wants to go to Disneyland, or a park, or somewhere not intimate with me, or with me and Ashton... and maybe your little one... please contact me. For me, meeting a single dad, or mom to hang out with would be ideal. I guess in conclusion, what I mean to say is: "Let's hang out, I'm not going to kiss you!" At least not anytime soon. And if you're truly looking for a good relationship, I'll be worth the wait... We all are!

  


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Posted on Fri, May 06, 2005 13:31

Yanno...if I had a dollah for every conversation where a BBW was mistreated, myself included, and for every man who was considered a dog..I'd be a RICH girl!! Sad thing is, some women feel that the only way they are going to win a man is if they invite them to do whatever they want! So...if the man says I'll take you out for a little sumpin sumpin, many women, and these are the same ones who complain, go out with the man whose just looking to get his and hopefully she will get hers.

Human nature is a funny thing. We all want to be loved, liked, lusted after, cared for, etc etc etc, but no one is really willing to take the time to get to KNOW anyone. And even when we do take that extra time to get to know someone...there are just NO guarantees love is going to be the end result. If it's meant to be it will, if not, learn from it and move on.

Last Wednesday I had an opportunity to meet my X boyfriend for coffee. I was very very nervous, but we met, had a great conversation, sipped on coffee and talked about 'old' times. Though the chemistry was there...we hugged and kissed each other hello and goodbye...as I drove away I kept reminding myself what my baby brother said.."Always MOVE forward....don't move BACK."

You get what you give...and sometimes we give what we get, but I have tried to NEVER sell myself short. I have no need to have the perpetual BBW pity party. We all make mistakes, the trick is not to repeat them, and even if we do...each day presents a do over.

Marvel a suggestion to your friend...NEVER get into a car with a strange man...especially in this day and age...a smart person would meet at a public place. After a comfort level is established than trips through a drive through wouldn't be such a BIG deal because both parties would be complete agreement.

  


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Posted on Thu, May 05, 2005 23:05

The reason we throw our 2cents in when it's a penny for your thoughts is because of taxes. The Beatles knew all about this, Taxman.

And I'm starting to think that life is easier if you DON'T date. Interviews, jerks of both genders, fibbers. I'm suprised people still put up with it. Of course, that does explain the boom in large, silly home theater systems being bought by people who live alone. Adult themed movies must be better in HD, plasma, surround-sound. And you always get EXACTLY what you want and know you deserve. I think we should start a new movement of courting and hayrides and chaparones, ice cream social and box lunches. What do you say, whoe's with me, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....The late John Belushi would be proud of us. And I don't mean to make light of the subject because I know it's wrong and hurtful. And if anybody here needs some help, I've more than got your back. FRIENDS TO THE END!!!!

  


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Posted on Tue, May 03, 2005 19:54

I couldn't agree with Scoot and Icewind more. Thats exactly what it feels like nowadays!



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Posted on Tue, May 03, 2005 07:09


icewindnorth write:

2. 1st dates are basiclly an interview ( I hate to make it sound so cold) but what your doing is checking the person out and seeing if you want to continue and they are doing the same. It's the starting point possibly for something deeper.


Agree 100%



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Posted on Tue, Apr 26, 2005 14:07

I feel bad for the woman that you were speaking about, but I think that had she spoken to him a few times on the phone before meeting him, she probably would have detected that he was a jerk. I am sure that his conversation would have raised a few red flags and she would have crossed him off of her list quick, fast and in a hurry.



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Posted on Mon, Apr 25, 2005 14:56

Nicely done toketee - you are absolutely right.

I remember meeting a guy a couple years ago for a 1st date. We had chatted very briefly online and then had a quick phone call. He asked me out for a drink and I met him out at a bar in the city. He never sent me a photo of himself and said that he would explain later. When I asked him why he was online he said that his best friend just married a girl that he met online so he thought it was time to give it a try since he was looking to settle down.

So I go to meet him and he is definitely attractive. Turns out he is in a music group that was on the cusp of hitting it big so that's why he didn't put his photo up (his words). The bar we're at is crawling with his friends. So I'm thinking this is a good thing- Public place, not afraid to see his friends, good drinks. After about 15 minutes he says to me, "Wow, I didn't know you had such nice ta-tas." (ta-tas not being the real word) I blush and can't decide if I'm irritated or intrigued. Then he asks me to "go around the corner." Now I'm irritated and confused. We take a walk, I get into my car and he calls my cell and asks me into his truck. I agree to talk to him for a minute and the second I got in his truck he was all over me. So I quickly left, much to his whining, and went home to figure out what went wrong.

* Yes, I got in to his car - mistake!
* Yes, I was blindsided because he presented the situation differently. He was after a quickie and that was all, despite his words to the contrary.
* Yes, I fell for his words and INGONRED the warning bells going off in my head.
* Yes, he was disengenuous about his intentions.
*Yes, I got out safely!
*No, I did not let him make me a victim!
*Yes, he was actually married - the real reason why he didn't post a photo! (Turns out we had a mutual friend who told me his story)

We all make mistakes. Going to the drive through at Burger King on a 1st date should never be ...



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Posted on Mon, Apr 25, 2005 13:46

I agree,

here is my one cent worth (just for toketee).

1. A**holes are not gender specific. Male / female .. white, black. brown.. yellow.. blue.. what ever.. they came in all shapes, sizes and colors.

2. 1st dates are basiclly an interview ( I hate to make it sound so cold) but what your doing is checking the person out and seeing if you want to continue and they are doing the same. It's the starting point possibly for something deeper.

If some one is to willing act that badly during the interview I can pretty much guarentee there won't be a second one.

3. Male/ Female you always have to remember safety first.



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Posted on Mon, Apr 25, 2005 06:04

Whewwwwww!!!

Did this subject hit a nerve or two, or what???

I might as well throw in my two cents...

(By the way, if it only cost's a penny for your thoughts... why do we feel the need to throw in Two cents worth? Is it because humans have this natural way of needing to over do it?)

Okay, to the subject at hand...

First of all...

If the gal said that she only had an hour for lunch and wanted to eat light, I for one would not have been offended at all at going to Burger King. So I really can't and won't help bash that part of the story.

Second of all...

Yes, I agree the guy acted totally out of line in what he did... BUT... while the obvious is clearly visable, lets take a look at the one MAJOR thing the Gal did WRONG.

#1... Being alone in a car with a man she didnt know.

Come on ladies... we all have brains in our heads. For every story of "man bashing" that there are out there... there is an equal number of women doing the very same things to guys. So lets not make this story into a gender specific topic.

When you ladies agree to meet someone face to face for the first time, you have got to use your heads and not put yourself in a situation that would make you vulnerable to these negative possibilities to happen.

Had she driven her own vehicle and they sat in a booth, this would not have happened.

I was to meet a new guy this weekend. Drove 3 hours to the town he was in and called him to find out where we were to "meet". It became clear that he not only did he want me to come to his home, but wanted to get into his hot tub in the buff... and all of this for a first meeting!

Long story short... I didnt meet him... But I did get some great new heels and a purse!!! Think smart ladies... dont act desperate to be a success story. In the end... you will be the winner.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 24, 2005 21:26

toketee, I totally agree with you. You bluntly said what I was trying to say in a soft way.



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Posted on Sun, Apr 24, 2005 15:49

I think there are a lot of good points in marvel and steve's posts. Being a BBW myself, Marvel's friends ordeal did appall me. However, I think there is some assumption based on appearance by both men and women. I don't think it is a weight issue specific issue. It's an awful fact of life but some people simply look for others who are vulnerable. Be it the person is "too nice", not assertive enough, is not as attractive as the other, etc. I'm not the type that uses or hurts other people, have never been that type and don't care for that type so I can't provide any more insight there. I think both men and women should be careful because it's equal opportunity for jerks, they come as both males and females.
As far as sending a few emails to a person and letting the replies be the basis of categorizing a person it's hard not to do it, but I've learned that you really can never judge someone from emails. If you think about it, a person can be who ever they want online. You also never know how someone will take what you write to them. I'm sure I opened a huge can of worms but I had to get my two cents in this one!



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Posted on Sat, Apr 23, 2005 17:36

Hi Marvel
This is my 1st post. I really feel sorry for your friend to a point.
she really needed to tell the jerk off when he pulled up to Burger King. Some women just don't stand up for themselves. I have a big mouth and would have told him to take me back to work if he couldn't take me to a decent place for dinner.



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Posted on Sat, Apr 23, 2005 15:04

You say you don't want to feel like you have to say you're sorry every time a male acts stupid. So why did you? Trying to get the ladies to think your sweet and caring, maybe??? I have read at least 3-4 posts each week by a female complaining about the same type guys. Don't worry about responding to me because I don't intend to get in a pi$$ing contest with you. You just gave every upset, dumped on lady fuel for their fires of rage. Are you a pitcher or catcher??



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