and then what happened?? Message board Forward to friends

  • View author's info Author Posted on Apr 20, 2005 at 05:49 AM

    Hi.... Has this happened to you? Let's say you meet someone here either male/female and you strike a conversation. Everything is going fine because you have a lot of things in common... After a short time of talking, you ask him/her out on a date and he/she accepts. You talk some more, having great conversation, and you think "My GOD... this is the one you were looking for all of your life." He or she is sexy and engaging. You give them flowers or a kiss (which ever is appropriate) at the end of the night (this is your first blind date and you still want to leave some mystery), you say good night to them and them to you. You ask him/her if you can see him/her next week and he/she tells you " I'll have to check my schedule and let you know". Hmmmmm... you don't think anything of it but when you try to call him/her, she doesn't answer her mobile phone, doesn't answer her messages and you think "Gee, what did I do wrong?" Now he/she says that they are totally honest with you and would let you know if they're not. Now there are circumstances.... just coming out of a divorce or almost done with one, fear, anxiety. What was the problem? What went wrong? Do you think that someone was pushed too hard during the date? Maybe he/she didn't like the way you looked (appearance, facial features, etc). You thought everythng went well. Do you move on to another individual? Do you feel like your self-esteem is just less than perfect at this moment? Did something happen afterwards that prevented him/her from contacting you? I would love to read the comments on this subject. Hope to hear from you.
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  • View author's info Posted on Apr 20, 2005 at 07:15 AM

    I think people like to believe they are honest, and so they proclaim to be just that. When it comes to uncomfortable situations though, where being honest and potentially hurting someones feelings, their supposed honesty flies out the window.
    As hard as it might be to accept, this is no reflection on you, it's a reflection of that persons weakness, and inability to deal with a confronting situation. It's as simple as sometimes, chemistry is just no there, for one or both parties, and there's no forcing that.
    What would you do, really, honestly. If you had a nice time with a person, but just didnt feel that spark that you know needs to be there in order to pursue it. Would you tell someone point blank you didnt feel you connected, or would you sugar coat it to save their feelings?
    Personally, I tend to be a pretty brutally honest person. To be anything else, means I am assuming that person cant cope with the truth, and really, I dont have the right to assume that about anyone. I find, that being honest, even at times knowing it may hurt someone's feelings, in the long runs earns you respect.
    I expect that kind of honesty myself. I am not so lacking in self esteem that I take things personally. If I expect that level of honesty, then it's only fair that I give it in return. Sadly though, there are too many people who lie to themselves when they say they are honest people, and I've met a few who claim it, but wouldnt even know the true meaning of the word. Real honesty starts with being honest with yourself.

    Just my thoughts anyway........ :)
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 20, 2005 at 06:13 AM

    Nope. Never happened.
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