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*POOF* He Disappeared...
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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2005 15:53

Margo, from what you've said, I guess he just didn't "click" with you. The standing you up for two dates was his cowardly way of telling you that it was over, rather than coming out and saying it. Sometimes, you have to come out and ask a guy, "Is this going anywhere?" and even then, look to his actions to speak louder than his words.

Whatever you do, don't let this sideline you in the game! I haven't read it, but on another site some of the ladies were talking about a book called, "He's Just Not That Into You" perhaps your local library or bookstore has a copy, or you can mailorder one from a website. It might provide some insights as to guy behavior, and let you know that it's him, not you.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2005 15:36

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer! Recently that happened with a guy I met here. Although our relationship did not get that far we really had several deep conversations and I was really vibing this guy. But the calling stopped the e-mails stopped all communications had been shut off. I think it is horrible that men do this! At least have the courage to say "I am not interested" or "I don't think this is going to work out for me" something.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2005 10:36

Yep I have it happen to me too hun. The best thing I can tell you is he has some issue or problem and doesn't want or doesn't know how to communicate that. What I would say is forget him unless he comes back around with a reason and rock on with your life. Life is too short to waste time on someone who doesnt return calls, emails, etc. I would also put in here that you can not take it as something wrong with you, if you do you are setting yourself up.

My 2 cents not necessrily the opinion of our sponsers ;)

Ravenna



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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2005 08:19

He was a jerk! Consider yourself lucky that you didn't become further involved with him. Either he was too ignorant to communicate effectively, or he's just too immature. You may feel badly but I think you got off lucky.



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Posted on Tue, Mar 15, 2005 01:13

I hear ya Margo ...

Its quiet daunting isnt it when that sort of thing happens, I would rather a "hey, U are nice and all but it just doesnt feel right" ,rather then the sugar coated words, phone calls then NOTHING ... its very confusing and can make you bitter for sure, makes you not want to trust etc, but if guys would only be honest rather then avoiding the reality of it all, then it would make life a lot easier then "hanging on" to nothing, I would rather be told Thanks but no thanks and dealing with the emotion of it then and there...and getting over it, rather then the silent treatment and stewing for however long before we can finally let go .... its Chicken sh*t behaviour and i know both guys and gals do it in fear of hurting the other party ...but the reality is it hurts more being left hanging on ... I believe in fate, whatever will be will be... people come and go in your life, and if that person that you were gelling well with in the beggining isnt going to have contact, or have the decency to say it just didnt feel right ... then they arent worth your time hun ...

I find it "safer" to keep my guard up so to speak, I will always have a little doubt if or when HE comes along, but in the end, if its meant to be, he will be patient and understand and hang around until such time he gains trust .... but that doesnt mean to treat him like dirt and push him away !! lol.... Communicatiion is one of the MOST important parts of any sort of relationship , be it casual, family , partner, friends whichever ... without it how do we know where we stand ...?? and how we convey things is important , there are easy ways to let people down...and there are brutal ways ... but to let people know what the deal is is important.. and it doesnt take Einstein to know that ... lol I am not sure if any of this helped you, but good luck in the future, dont give up ... just learn from the riff raff out there ...