It sometimes seems that the things that attracted you to them in the first place are the real them, but usually it's the other way around.
I didn't even know my husband until we were married for a couple of years.
That sweetness that's holding you, is only a small side of your boyfriend. He couldn't hold his dark side in any longer, and it's coming out in terrible ways. Not all men have that dark side to them, but when you see it in a boyfriend or husband, it can only get worse from there.
I have too many friends who have stayed in abusive relationships, and guess what I've found out? Every one of them regretted staying. I know it's hard, I was married for 8 years, but when the but when someone is abusing you, you are the only one who can decide to stop it.
Sadly, it doesn't matter what his size is. I don't even think it's your weight. It sounds like he just wants to hurt you.
When my husband first left, I did a lot of crying and I was very sad at first, but it really does get better. I would never go back to a man like that again.
Slowly your self esteem will get higher and higher the more you're away from him. But only you can make that decision.
What also really helps a lot is a support system. It looks like you have some people here who are willing to talk. I'm more than willing to talk, so give me a wink. I'm not a member, so I guess that's all I can get. If you have anyone at home who you could talk to who is supportive, that helps too.
Its me the clairvoyant. What I can say to you is. There are all sorts of people in this world. And I know what you thinking of your guy. How can person who is also a big guy be this way have two sides. Well for one a lot of men who have issues have issue due to influance. Some of those infulances are caused by friends, meida, and other types circumstancess. It is not an excuse but it is the most terriable and regetable truth. I know you want the best for your relationship. But the truth is there can't be a best resloution. When one person see you in a way that is hurt full. My other point is you are young and There are more people out there that will have your same ideas and need or even wants. This guy who is in your life once had thouse qualities but due to some crazzy and regetful reason he has changed. What you can do.Is you need to muster the courage to leave and start something different for yourself. I know that the thought of leaveing is disapointing, but remember this. In this world there are people who are born with fault. Those faults are normally gained by what infulancess their lives and can destroy what "love ones" are in thire life. So you must understand that people will fail you. But with that in mind you gain knowledge for the next person that comes your way. Remember what I said. Make some standards I am not saying make standards that are imposiable to reach by those who have made some notion that they like you. But to test their intent. You are a loving person by nature. You have more preciptions to others, and those around you. You are willing to do anything for a person cos you want them to be happy. These things are good but can expose your self to unwanted hurt. And the person that you are with knows this. But by understanding this you can defeat the unwanted hurt by Changeing some things about your self. Im not saying change your good personalties. What I am saying is be more argresive. But with class. Show that...
You guys have all given me a lot to think about. He's my first serious b/f, and we've been together two years. I just don't understand how someone who can be so loving can also be so mean. I would never say those things to someone I loved. I care for him and want things to work out, but I'm scared they won't. Thanks everybody! P.S. He's big just like me.
Sweety, you are beautiful. I was married to a man who was embarrassed to take me out. He never said anything, but when I gained weight, he stopped wanting to go anywhere with me. Things like that go way over my head, especially since he didn't say a word about me weight. He was mean, but I didn't realize that it was my weight until after my divorce and he found himself a young tiny skinny woman.
If I can get divorced just because of the way my husband acted, when he didn't say a thing, you can certainly dump a man who is blatantly prejudiced against your weight.
I feel 1000 times better now, and I'm still alone. You'll feel better too.
You're too young and too attractive to have to put up with that crap. Tell him you don't EVER want to be talked to like that again, or he's gone. That's if he isn't already. Most PEOPLE who treat others like that only do it to try and bring you down to the level they are feeling themselves. I have a feeling that maybe he's caught some other guys giving you the eye or maybe some of his friends have told him how pretty you are and he's feeling insecure, so he has to crap on you. WIPE IT OFF, and open your eyes and see if there are some young dudes starting to give you a second and third glance. It might be time for you to trade up.
Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn't love and appreciate you for who you are. YOU have to believe that you are not what he says. Be confident in who you are and don't let ANYONE bring your self-esteem down.
I'm a guy, so speaking from a guys point of view, you dont realize how many men are attracted to BBW. I recently met a terrific gal online at largefriends who's husband is'nt giving her the attention she needs, it's been months and she finaly said enough is enough and decided to strike out on her own. he obviously has issues with her weight,which only shows how shallow and insecure he is about himself.i've been in a relationship with a beautiful woman for eightyears who has put on weight and i love her just as much now as i ever did maybe even more, see real men are secure enough to be with a BBW, even proud, i know i am. so give him an option and give someone else a chance to treat you like the special woman we all know you are. Go for it girl!
now for a change of beat. Im in a situation that disturbs me. i ahve been with a person for along time. and they are how should we say takeing time about matters that any normal person would have done years ago. I live with this person and share many different roles, and the thing most troubling is this person is letting time slip away at a action she knows very well she needs to do. That action is divorce. so much for standards lol. opions any one
oh by the way your not a fat ugly bitch. for one your a human not a dog. for seconds your not ugly i find you very very much a goddess. and thirdly if your fat your guy must be blind. point is gather around those pepole who are here and they will guide you if you dont find anyone will give me a call ill fly with yeah. (pop Quiz students) what moive does that come from. the fly part. any how take care and may the god's of heavymetal protect you in all your ways. yea Im a metal head lol.
Iam not going to tell you the same thing every once else is saying cos you know what to do. and I am not going to say that you need to find a man that is going to treat you good cos I know that what you want you dont need me to tell you that. And I am not going to tell you that I am the one for your either cos thats a retarted statement. But what Iam going to say is. You need to sit back and think Iam in a abouse situation. Come to terms with that first. Then Make the decsion to get out. after that ask your self how did you allow this to happen. then make standards not need wants or whishies. stardards that make sense and are of logic sense. test those standards and improve them. as corney this may sound create a test for the next person. this test should be of knowledge of some portions of the bible or what ever relgion or not but make some moral test. that will prove his moral. then knowledge of basic human rights in this world. then test on what ever else you think. by doing this. It will give you standards, and teaches you what you are about and that knowledge no one can take from you. If you want to talk you know where to find me...
Well, I'll add my opinion even though it matches with EVERY other post so far.
Dump him! He's an a$$hole. You should never aloow someone to talk down to you. He's breaking down your self esteem before you can build it up.
ABUSE ONLY GETS WORSE. Do not stay in that relationship hoping he will change, because he won't. You will spend too much time feeling badly about yourself when instead, you could ditch him and be liberated NOW!!
Hey BigSexy, This is from experience.. I was married to a man that was always critisizing me about my weight it got worse as time went by and nothing I did was every good enough. I finally divorced him, but it took me several years to realize that I was not that ugly fat person he made me believe I was. I realized it was his own insecurities talking. Dont wait long. Leave him now. Your self esteem is sooo much more important than any man. And trust me, there are men out there that will look at you as though you are a goddess. You just have to be patient and keeping looking and listening. But Leave him, for your own sanity.
Why take that kind of abuse from a boyfriend? Dump him because it is better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you feel like you are something on the bottom of his shoe. You need to get away from this toxic man. If you are worried that you will be alone when you two break up, that is true. But you need to get rid of him and his negativity in order to make space for a good man to come into your life.
If your b/f is into calling you names and making you feel bad what do u get outta the relationship.You sound like nice girl and it sounds like he is making u feel bad about yourself for no reason. Obviously you only gave part of picture but from part you did I'd seriously think of leaving him if thinks don't change...Best wishes:)