It's great to see so many stories being shared, I know i am not the only one to have gone through this, being rejected because of my weight. I myself have always been heavier than all of my friends. They all had boyfriends while i didn't. They all got asked to the prom, while i stayed home and cried...They all got to do the things that i could only dream of doing, I spent many nights at home crying, because the boys wouldn't ask me out....I find that even in this little town that i live in, the men don't pay attention, it's like i have the plague or something...I am a good person, with a big heart and lots to offer, I just wish they would see that...Maybe someday someone will come and sweep me off of my feet....
I think that enough women are not honest with themselves first of all about how big they are (ie all these larger women squeeeezing into clothes) and enough men are not honest with themselves about LIKING the softness, curves, etc. of a BBW. I have always been a little larger than my classmates, friends, etc. It wasn't until I was out of college that I found out how many men like me for who I am. I wasted a lot of years thinking there was no point in going out because no one was looking for someone like me. I always knew I was smart and funny enough, I just never thought guys took the time to notice that part.
OK..so this is how I feel about size...I can only say how I personally feel..as we all differ in this area. As a Amazonian Woman(tall - 6ft,xtracurvy and very sturdy) I have learned to appreciate my entire body..sure..there are days when I don't feel very glamorous...but skinny ladies have them too. I think all Plus Sized ladies and Men should really get to know their bodies..do not be ashamed by some padding here and there..or a silvery stretch mark..God made us all beautiful...So next time you come out of the shower..look at yourself and give yourself a positive comment...cause you are beautiful...I say so:-)
I have to agree with you hun. I spent my teenages years bending over backwards for guys. I would travel 7 hours one way to see a guy I was dating whenever he asked, and this was all while I was in college. When I would say that I needed to stay, he would start telling me that I wasn't dedicated enough to the relationship. You want to know how many times he drove to see me?....NONE!
because I hoped that he would eventually see me for more. But, when it came to hanging outside of the apartment, that was a big no. He was always too busy.
After dealing with guys like that, I am now afraid to go out on a date with a guy. I'm afraid that he'll be embarassed about hanging out with me, so I usually stay in. Pathetic, I know, but after being beat down so many times it's hard to get up.
Luckily, though, my sister did cure me of a few things. She explained to me that there is no excuse for a guy to make a girl drive to see them. I explained that I wasn't attractive enough to ask for so much, and I swear she would have slapped me if she wasn't my sister! LoL She explained that every woman is lovely, and if a guy is a gentleman and sincere, then he would take the time to drive to her. Obviously, not all of the time, but at first the guy should do the manly thing and come to her. He should open doors, pay for dinner (I would always take the check, because I felt like I owed them the dinner for hanging out with me.), and make the same effort he would with a skinny girl.
Since my sister talked to me about this, I have changed the way that I deal with guys. I ask them to make an effort now, and won't put up with the B.S. they offer me just because I'm a BBW. Part of that name is Beautiful for a reason, and we should be treated like we are.
*Steps off of my soap box, laughing.* Sorry..got a little carried away there, but just couldn't stop myself from sharing the story.
waves hi to everyone and wishes them a great new year!!! all's i can say is.. i love BBW's and BHM! hopefully the admins will allow this post to go through.. hehehe. i love this site and am not taking from it, but as was posted earlier.. a chat needs to be made that is worth something to us all :)
I think that men such as RomanticBill have come to largefriends.com so they can find someone who feels down on themsleves , someone who is desperate, someone who hates themself for being fat.
I am not hard up. I do not have to chase after men. There are enough men in this world who love BBW that we BBW don't have to bend over backwards for a jerk like you. I drive all week long for my business. I am looking for someone who is local to me or someone who is willing to drive to me and eventually move into my home. There is nothing wrong with what I am looking for, and I am looking for it in exactly the right place. www.largefriends.com is for people like me. But just like any date meet site, there is always a jerk like RomanticBill who thinks he is better
RomanticBill wrote, "Youll soon find that with your weight problem,not offering to do any driving shows the man you have no depth,and obviously telling them they must move there and they must meet you for coffee shows that your also not romantic at all-add your weight to the equation and you will end up alone unless you begin showing men you have somethingpositive to offer-sorry,but thats the truth
But good luck to you somehow"
Wow... I must say... I have learned so much from this thread!!! I honestly had a hard time beleiveing that a man can truely be attracted to a BBW. I guess I always felt there had to be some underlying reason other than the possibility of physical attraction. I guess I'm not so weird after all. LOL (okay, I know that is debateable, but hey!)
I have to say that its good to hear that size doesnt matter or that larger women are really wanted. I have joined other dating sites, match, yahoo ect and all the guys on them want slim, average or fit women. or if they say they want a large or cury women they just wanted to sleep with them and keep the relationship indoors (i have been there too namoi)
Me, myself does prefer the BHM or big but musclar. But personnality is always more attractive.
So far I havent met anyone on this site. Sent a few winks so we'll see what happens.
Mctrixie12 I understand your pain. As bbw have the love of many admirers, as do the "skinnys", on more than one occasion I have found myself in between both worlds. It saddens me that society has resulted in labels. I can not walk into a trendy shop and buy clothes off the rack, they are too small. So when I portray myself as a bbw (which is what I believe I am) I have been told on more than one occasion that I'm not big enough. :( I feel like I can not win. I have finally accepted myself and I am extremely happy to hear that I am not alone in my situation.
I say love everyone, give everyone a chance, you may be surprised!
hello, everyone! i just joined today and am a bit confused on how to operate...is there a chat room in here that im just too slow to figure out? or is surfing profiles and the IM list pretty much the standard? this is the first time ive joined any type of site...so bear with me, im slow on the uptake right now. thanks for any information anyone is willing to supply me! have a great new year!
Your post reminds me of something that happened to me in the past when dating someone. I was with a man who had a thin build and he would always make comments about my size. One day I was telling an older woman that I worked with and she said --- "nobody likes a bone, but a dog!" He did turn out to be real dog and he completely wrecked my self esteem. Since then I have come to realize that the wrapping on the package may be nice, but if you don't like what's on the inside, it will be harder to tolerate.
I too, am extremely interested in what men find attractive about a really large woman. I dont' find anything appealing about stretch marks and cellulite, so I can't imagine why anyone else would. Please, I'm just being honest. I prefer a man with extra meat on his bones, but not morbidly obese. I have been larger all my life but made a lifestlye change 6 yrs. ago, & lost 50# & 5 clothes sizes thanks to Atkins. It was a matter of health for me, watching diabetes devastating both sides of my families for generations, amputees, blindness, heart attacks, etc. Imagine my excitement to find a near perfect match my age at LF, but he prefers someone older and larger! Where was he at when I was a size 24?? If he could see how big my heart is maybe he'd reconsider! The physical side is important, but always be open to individuality & personality. I'll never be thin, size 14-16 is now normal for me, and I am happy with the person I have become.
It could be true that as you mature you would prefer a different kind of woman (maybe the blindfold vanishes with age as you realize real life and real people is not MTV or E! real life is you and me.), but I would say it does not take only age, I believe it only takes "a man that knows what he really wants".( i speak for myself at least )
i just joined this site all of a few minutes ago.. i llike what i am reading, more and more we BBW sisters and BHM brothers come out and are more proud everyday of who They are... i am not putting down the "skinnys" of the world, but it usualy is the "skinnys" that feel it necesary to try to make us feel bad about who we r, well i am proud to be who i am and i love the BBW and BHM society so much i have made a website for a BBW and BHM group that i am a part of. I applaud you all, and merry xmas!!!