Is having a racial preference racist? DATING Forward to friends

  • View author's info Posted on Feb 28, 2006 at 06:50 AM

    I have not read through all of the posts and I apologize if I'm restating another post, however I was struck by this topic. There has to be the consideration of who you want to spend your time with. We cannot ignore that there are cultural differences between the races. There are ways of acting with "your own" that you don't do with everyone. Music, food, humor, dress, language, etc. that have strong ties to culture and race. I think that it is naive to ignore these things.

    Also what Theo mentioned about fat people dating other fat people really struck something in me because I while I may find a fat person attractive for maybe facial or personality reasons (which being the progressive woman that I am can easily override any "preference" I may have) I am clearly attracted to and turned on by a hard, chiseled body (whew is it hot in here?) But seriously, what does that say about me? Does it make me bad or a hypocrite that I want men to be attracted to my fat behind even though I'm not attracted to theirs? Maybe. But, I'd rather believe that it just boils down to preference. Just as one has the right and inclination to be attracted to a bbw/bhm I have the right and inclination to the opposite.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 27, 2006 at 03:39 PM

    Allsoft..ok, just being still relatively new to the british slang (sorry, not sure of the correct term here!)...chuffed means proud/happy...I'm guessing the phrase chuffed dead just means really pleased/proud...but maybe wrong about that, might need some other Brits to back me up on this one?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 27, 2006 at 03:59 AM

    allsofttouches write:
    GOH!!!! no one answered yet; what does 'chuffed dead' mean?

    Transatlantic translation for you, touches......'Dead chuffed' means jolly pleased
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 26, 2006 at 02:47 AM

    I think that this could become an explosive topic! :) Well, I think everyone is different. We each have what we would term our "ideal" man/woman. Personally, I prefer caucasian men, tall, with dark hair and blue eyes...but that is only the fantasy! I was in love with a Mexican-American in high school, and certainly wouldn't say no if Denzel Washington stopped by....
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 24, 2006 at 08:52 AM

    Thanks, Millie. thats what ive been trying to say as well.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 04:14 PM

    I like what I like, and if people think it's racist or that I need to be 'educated and opened up to alternative' tastes, tough!

    Individuals are programmed to procreate, people can't help their predispositions. Fat isn't attractive to most people because it doesn't project the 'healthy gene' pool well.

    We wouldn't be here today, if it weren't for our picky (or, should that read racially motivated) ancestors selecting individuals which projected the 'healthy gene pool.' Heaven forbid political correctness took over.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 01:48 PM

    Ok, but I am not the one who said that you shouldnt PREFER one type to another. From what I can see, it sounded like you said that. I have preferences and if one of them happens to be race, I will not apologize for it. It is in no way racial. I simply don't find certain things attractive. I don't have very many preferences, but there are a few things that I am just turned off by.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 10:15 AM

    Ok Theo, so if even you "oh enlightened one" have things that turn you off then why can't the rest of us??? Why are your preferences any different than anyone elses?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 10:11 AM

    Nice job, likenonother!!!!!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 21, 2006 at 09:01 AM

    People who think they are so "enlightened" crack me up. You're not enlightened you're just prejudiced towards people for different reasons that are important to you because you agree with it. You're just someone with no taste, no preference and no standards because you will date anyone for any reason. There is nothing wrong with having preferences be it race or otherwise. I prefer men taller but no smaller than me. I am not at all attracted to large men but I like the thick ones with a little bit of a belly and stocky build. I have never dated outside my race either but would consider it with the right person. Let you tell it and not only am I racist but I'm prejudiced against fat, short, blind, ugly, jobless, ambitionless, humorless, rude, and stupid people. I guess all I can say is...I'll be that. **smooches**

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  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 10:18 PM

    So Theo, does that mean if you meet a woman who weighs 700 lbs. you would still be attracted to her? Is fat, fat regardless of how fat? Is there any kind of physical trait that would make you not interested in a person?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 09:46 PM

    In every era, a certain standard of beauty is put on a pedstal...that being said the problem here is not racism or shallowness it's tolerance... i see it when black men date white women, when a gay male embraces his partner...anything that goes against a value we hold dear, we feel the need to speak our mind or "pull up that individual", i'm all for calling a spade a spade but what purpose is it in this forum...what truly is ignorance?.. the inablity to see someone else's point of view and understand it...i'm not talking about promotion of hate and violence which defeats the purpose of communciation..i'm talking about that we are all unique individuals therefore our ideals,upbringing,community, teachings, taste will be different ... i think the original topic was interesting but for some reason it got skewed into a morality lesson and to me that is what is so sad ...for all the posters whatever ur preference are and whatever are ur reasons for ur choices...i hope u all find it and whoever it is, brings you happiness...
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 04:41 PM

    Dummy Mcdumbersons I guess.
    But maybe that was a rhetorical question.

    On a side're fun.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 03:43 PM

    I agree 100% because who else knows exactly what it feels like to be treated like you're totally invisible?
    It's crazy.

    I try to keep an open mind.
    I'm pickier with guys when it comes to things like poor spelling and grammar.
    That's just because I'm a giant wordy nerd I suppose.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 03:23 PM

    How many people are actually that enlightened?

    Too many people are blindsided by the idea of beauty that is spoon fed to them via cable tv and glossy weekly publications. When was the last time you saw a BBW cast as anything other than the funny friend in a movie or on a TV show? Yea...I can't think of answer to that question either. We are led to believe that people who are larger are just not worthy of being loved.

    Am I getting ranty?
    Sorry, it happens!
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 02:01 PM

    in my opinion, for what its worth, I think that you have to look at why they refuse to date a certain race to determine if its racist or not. There are many reasons why a person may not want to date someone of a particular race. Now if the person said "I will not date because they are " then obviously they are racist. For some people, myself included, have families that will disown you for dating outside your race. For some people it may just be a preference. Some people don't like red hair, some people like dark eyes, some people like people of Asian race. And as for fat people who won't date other fat people, maybe they just don't find fat attractive. Fat is an unusual preference, you have to admit. Just because you are fat does not mean you have to be attracted to fat. It's the same as a skinny man only wanting to date a fat woman, right?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 01:21 PM

    This is a really interesting topic.
    My take= the following....
    Racism is bred out of ignorance and is something that is learned. People aren't born to hate and discriminate.
    Is it ignorant of people to avoid dating other people because of the color of their skin, or the size of their body?
    I think it is, arguably so.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 20, 2006 at 11:48 AM

    I stated it as a preference, yes, and I think its better to *honestly* admit it rather than dishonestly trying to be politically correct and state otherwise. I've also stated that I don't rule out people because of weight, nor have I ever. I've ALSO said he body was an initial attraction, which I think everyone has and needs because, hello, we still have instincts that tell us what to select for.
    I think you know very little about me. Me, or anyone you really tend to attack - and it is an attack, though you do it by nipping rather than having all out - and therefore you have very little to base your accusations of me being shallow other than the fact that you don't like that a fat chic is saying well, yeah, she likes thinner guys, USUALLY.
    I would say I was shallow- based off of what I posted here - if and only if I had said "hell yeah I'll only date thin guys and to hell with anyone who's not", but I haven't nor will I ever say that. I think you need to get off your high horse cause, honey, you aren't better than the rest of us. You wouldn't be here if you were.
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 19, 2006 at 11:56 AM

    oy, it doesnt mean just athletic. Rugby players are athletic and muscely, yes, but the best kind also have a nice padded layer. It also means someone taller and stronger [than myself] and bigger without being unhealthy. If i wanted runner lean and stringy, then i would have said athletic. wanna have more of a go at me, theo?
  • View author's info Posted on Feb 19, 2006 at 02:24 AM

    No your compleatly right when you said" I wasn't having a go at anyone for their beliefs/preferences/choices".. You just called any one who woulden't date out.. Of there race a racest that's all.. I guess that's compleatly diffrent..And I'm sorry if I have probs with being called a racest.. I would have with any one who said that.. Not just you so plz don't take it personaly..
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