Thought I'd put my two cents in here. I think that in America the words "fat" and "ugly" seem to go together far too often. How many times have we seen commercials for the lastest diet scam that talks about loosing that "ugly fat". Interesting too when you consider just how many of us are overweight anyway. Think that we are becoming schizoid about the whole thing.
Then there is the case of the women who had to complain to the medical board about her doctor because he told her that she was too fat and that no man would ever want her because of her "ugly fat". (And I note here that he was no prize himself!)
Real woman have real curves. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
In general I'd rather use the term big or large, but I'm also ok with fat ... however it depends on who's calling me fat and the context it's being used in. There are people who can say you're fat and not mean anything derogatory about it and then some people whom use it in a demeaning way.
It's kind of like black people and the n-word. We are ok when people we know, regardless of race, call us that since we are certain it's not being used in a demeaning way. However, if someone we suspect is using it in a demeaning way to us or someone we know we tend to get all bent out of shape over it. That word, just like fat, would best be left alone by all parties since they both are more times than not used in the demeaning way rather than the non-demeaning way.
Thanks for the words of wisdom everyone. I do like Theo's thoughts on preference versus fetish. He seems to share my thoughts as well.
I don't mind fat, however, it depends on the tone of voice someone uses when saying it. Believe it or not it does make a difference. And alot of times not alot is said anyway, because like someone said earlier it is obvious.
Nice one LonesomeDove...Hi.
Personally, I HATE BBW/SSBBW/BHM. It stinks of fetishism to me, and if you type it into a search engine, all you get is porn etc.
As cheramie so rightly said, if someone can see you, then why call yourself anything at all?
Fat is at least honest I suppose, although better for me to say it than someone else, as it's become a very negative adjective.
If I was describing myself to a blind stranger, I would say that I'm a 'big gal', or 'cuddly' or maybe let him have a feel for himself..LOL
My kids say I'm 'squashy' and 'comfy'.
Each to their own. We all have words and terms that we're more comfortable with. But for goodness sake let's dispense with the labels, because all they do is perpetuate the prejudices.
I personally have no problems with fat. It is what I am. When I first start talking to someone online, I tell them that I am a larger woman. I have also used the term bbw. They are just words to me. I don't take any of them personally or offensively.
It depends on the circumstances. When I'm shopping I'd say "plus size". When I'm chatting with an anonymous, nameless, faceless chatter, I say "fat ch1ck".(sheesh, can't say ch1ck). When I do a search for clothes, or dating sites, I use BBW. When in person, I practically never discuss my size with anyone. No reason, its obvious, why go there?
Theo, I agree that this is a touchy subject with a lot of personal opinions and preferences. But Theo I have to ask, just out of curiosity why in your profile you describe yourself as a BHM, I could have misunderstood your opinion but I thought you didn't approve of those labels. I am not trying to start a fight just wondering where you do stand.
As said elsewhere... yup... I completely agree with you. I also think it's unavoidable that this kind of discussion take place as the ideals of size-acceptance become increasingly disentangled from the fat fetishist scene.