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Why are all the nice guys overlooked?
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Posted on Tue, Oct 25, 2005 04:30

i like to meet all kinds of people race is not an issue i like honesty just haveing a good time
i like to meet all kinds of people race is not an issue i like honesty just haveing a good time

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Posted on Sun, Oct 23, 2005 11:53

I HAVE TO AGREE WITH THE CONSENSUS I DO LOOK FOR THE NICE GUYS YOU ARE HOT SO HON I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN REASSURED LOL SMOOCHES LOVE CANDY
I HAVE TO AGREE WITH THE CONSENSUS I DO LOOK FOR THE NICE GUYS YOU ARE HOT SO HON I THINK YOU HAVE BEEN REASSURED LOL SMOOCHES LOVE CANDY

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Posted on Sun, Oct 23, 2005 11:17

It's odd; as has been stated, we're all here looking for the same thing (friendship), people should realize that, of course, the people on this site aren't going to be Twiggy clones,and yet still I see posts from people saying they feel the reason they've had problems is because of their size.


Whatever happened to friendship? does it matter if your friend is an A-cup/300lb/green-hair/Classical music lover? (Not all at the same time, of course!)

The things that matter the most (at least to me) are the QUALITIES of the person, not their physical attributes.

Bottom line to everyone: Don't settle, you are WORTH IT, and if it takes a long time to find the right person to be with... just think about how long the time would feel if you realized all too late you were with the wrong person.


Chris
It's odd; as has been stated, we're all here looking for the same thing (friendship), people should realize that, of course, the people on this site aren't going to be Twiggy clones,and yet still I see posts from people saying they feel the reason they've had problems is because of their size.


Whatever happened to friendship? does it matter if your friend is an A-cup/300lb/green-hair/Classical music lover? (Not all at the same time, of course!)

The things that matter the most (at least to me) are the QUALITIES of the person, not their physical attributes.

Bottom line to everyone: Don't settle, you are WORTH IT, and if it takes a long time to find the right person to be with... just think about how long the time would feel if you realized all too late you were with the wrong person.


Chris

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Posted on Sun, Oct 16, 2005 18:14

Whew wee, son...with a smile like that I couldn't overlook you. I do believe it would stop me in my tracks... and I'd be forced to pull the Joey (from Friends) "How you doin'?" LOL

KB



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Posted on Sun, Oct 16, 2005 11:53

its almost funny in a way... everyone here is looking for the same thing and can't find it...

email some of the people on this site! chat! meet! make some friends

the answers may be right in front of your face...



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Posted on Thu, Oct 13, 2005 06:26

I also think that maybe women see us as "too nice".

I'm kinda quiet in real life in a 1 on 1 situation but if people saw me in my natural environment in a club or pub spinning my tunes and talking gibberish into the microphone they'd see my "wilder" side then.



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Posted on Tue, Oct 11, 2005 07:22

ok, allupinem, thats a cute title, i feel the same way,at times.i tend to get overlooked as well for the more slimer body,and and vain person. but i can say that you appear to be a nice intelligent black man. so keep the faith there is someone out there especially for you. i just join this site so i am not an active member but you can im me any time. keep an eye out for taylorwoma, from AR. i have pics i can send to me. hope to chat with you. PS YOU HAVE THE CUTIES SMILE.

  


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Posted on Thu, Sep 08, 2005 07:11

lol, "boring" is AWESOME. If boring is coming home, cooking dinner, doing homework with my babies, watching a silly movie cuz it makes them happy, playing with my dogs, football on sundays, watching the rain come down, then count me as BORING. Because, those are the things I treasure, those are the things I look forward to, those are the things that will matter when I'm old. You can keep your bars, you can keep the wild parties, give me an empty beach and my family anyday.

Kudos to the men who know what it means to be "boring". Steady, reliable, warm, and there for you.



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Posted on Thu, Sep 08, 2005 06:20

Hey Allupinem, Have a NICE day!! Just kidding, I like what you wrote, both times, and personally, I have had too many not nice people in my life. If nice means boring then bring it on. Nice is the quality I am looking for in a partner and I think I may have found it. Good luck in your search.
Trix



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Posted on Mon, Sep 05, 2005 13:37

I don't think you're overlooked, it's just hard to find a nice guy these days. Most guys claim to be "nice" but they tend to prove themselves wrong. So when a nice guy does come along it's kinda like it's too good to be true. Because like one girl said it goes both ways. I'm one of the nice girls that guys say isn't out there but seems like guys aren't interested. Soo I'm still trying to find some answers. Here's how I see it. If the right guy does come along, he will want to be with me a respect me without expecting anything in return if you know what i mean... Anyway i could go on for hours about this subject.



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Posted on Fri, Sep 02, 2005 10:38

Mr. Biggles, I think you hit the nail right on the head. I admit I have horrible taste in men, my life's experiences prove it. What I WANT is someone who will treat me nice, listen to me at 2 am when i have a nightmare, let me snuggle, blah blah blah. who i end up going out with is the overbearing, macho jerk who doesnt seem to get the meaning of the word responsible. Is that his fault? NO!! Its mine. And maybe, like you, i need to take a long hard look at my choices in men. I dont have a problem finding dates, honestly (i have no idea why that is, but its the way it goes), i guess i just turn down the ones I should be saying yes to. Thanks for your thoughts..... sometimes everybody needs a wake up call.



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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 10:30

What I would like to know is how come all the really nice and sweet guys only go for the b*t#hy Sl*ty girls who end up breaking their hearts and making it impossible for them to trust the rest of us!?!

  


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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 09:24

Now, what on Earth makes you think that Theo?

I wouldn't say bad, just a little disappointing maybe.

  


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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 03:40


NorthernGordon write:
I've got a new one. Why do bad BBWs crap on nice BHMs?

And it happens......

As for what's been said, well I'll just stay nice and dull. You gals go and find your exciting men who cheat on you and beat you up and disrespect you.


Ouch!

I know a few BBWs that have been crapped on by men, so it goes both ways.

That said, I had an interesting experience a few years back when I had a chance to go to a high school reunion.

There was a girl that I really liked in high school and had asked out several times. We were very good friends and she kept telling me that I was too valuable as a friend (sound familiar to anyone?). All the while she kept dating the worse guys at our school because they drove great cars, had tatoos, and were general badasses.

When we graduated, she was pregnant and was about to get married to one of those guys. I went off to college and we lost touch with each other.

Fifteen years later, she has four children by three different husbands. All of her husbands were physically and mentally abusive. One is even in prison. And her "current boyfriend" at the time was a total *sshole at the reunion (even though he didn't go to our school). She kept going out with those kind of guys and I didn't understand it.

We talked that night and she regretted not having gone out with me. And I'm certain that had she taken a chance on me, her life (and mine) would have been different.

Of course, I've heard of similar stories from women about their high school and college crushes.

The biggest problem we all seem to have is that we're locked into this cycle. We talk about who we'd really like to be with, but that person is so unfamiliar to us that we don't actually take the chance on them when they do come around.

As much as I grouse about being turned down by various women I have asked out, you don't hear me talking about the women who have asked me out and I've politely said no. Why did I say no? Why didn't I take a chance? I'd like to believe that I don't know the answer to that question, but the reality is probably more like I don't want to ADMIT to the answer because I don't like it.



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Posted on Wed, Aug 31, 2005 02:05

Hi everyone!

Just thought that I'd quickly thrown in my thoughts...

I describe myself as "nice" - I like to think that this is not a euphemism for "dull" or "as interesting as watching paint dry" - I use the word "nice", because I like to think that I am a guy who is pleasant, warm and respectful toward women.

Whilst I think that I am all of the above, I certainly have a spontaneous, impulsive streak that prevents me from being boring.

In answer to the main topic of the thread, though - they do tend to be overlooked. Sadly, I am still of the impression that nice guys finish last - unless there is a woman out there who can help me disprove this theory...

  


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Posted on Tue, Aug 30, 2005 12:15

I've got a new one. Why do bad BBWs crap on nice BHMs?

And it happens......

As for what's been said, well I'll just stay nice and dull. You gals go and find your exciting men who cheat on you and beat you up and disrespect you.



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Posted on Tue, Aug 30, 2005 12:08

I love the "bad boy" look, but prefer my guy to be a sweetheart. Too bad I can't seem to find him.



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Posted on Mon, Aug 29, 2005 09:14

Hi everybody. This thread (like many others) made for great reading (wanted to use the word 'nice' but thought better of it). If I may, I'd like to add my comment.

I believe the word 'nice' is over used (and I don't just mean when describing ourselves. It's over use in many areas diminishes its meaning). True, a person may be nice, and there's nothing wrong with that, but as stated on other posts, there are other words as alternatives. Saying that, we're free to describe ourselves as we wish.

I'm digressing... are nice guys overlooked? Are nice ladies overlooked too? There seem to be many great people posting in the forums regularly, and I really enjoy the reads, and feel I know many of you, and I like it. But if any of us are 'overlooked' it can knock our confidence, but I don't feel it's because we're 'nice' however disheartening it may be. I guess if someone overlooks us, it's because we're just not their type. It can be frustrating, though, when one hears about a man or woman treating a partner badly, and the partner stays with them, and 'nice' people think, "Hey! I wouldn't treat him/her like that! Why's he/she with them?"

BUT, it's not just 'nice'. I guess stating the obvious gets some people down. I mean, I'm normal (I think!!) and enjoy a hug as much as the mnext person, but to put in an ad (not necessarily here, I've just seen them elsewhere) that a person is 'lonely, likes cuddles and hugs, looking for same' MAY be true, but I know that it can put some people off.

Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. You're very nice people.

And by the way, I've intended no disrespect or offence to anyone here, so hope none was taken. You're a great bunch!



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Posted on Mon, Aug 22, 2005 16:09

The "nice" men I have met as of late seem to like women who use and abuse them. I have no tolerance at this point in my life for the men who whine and gripe about a woman who used and abused him and then left him after they gave them all their money, time, love, etc. He does not attract me, since he allows this type of woman in his life and he is not attractive to me if he is not attracted to women who try to be emotionally healthy, treat men with respect and expect respect from men.



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Posted on Sun, Aug 21, 2005 17:13

Did somebody open the window?
I can definitely feel a breath of fresh air in here........

  


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