The "nice" men I have met as of late seem to like women who use and abuse them. I have no tolerance at this point in my life for the men who whine and gripe about a woman who used and abused him and then left him after they gave them all their money, time, love, etc. He does not attract me, since he allows this type of woman in his life and he is not attractive to me if he is not attracted to women who try to be emotionally healthy, treat men with respect and expect respect from men.
I've had several women say they were attracted to "bad boys." It wasn't a rejection of me, they just go for a different type. Although they are my friends, these women are usually "hotties" who follow fads and fashion to an extreme. I fyou are ignored by those kinds of women, good for you. Move on and look among women with healthy intellects and hearts... like here.
I have to admit that Theophrastus makes a good point. I used to say the same thing about men and because I believed it, I subconsiously lived it. "Nice" men were repelled by me, while those who prey on lonely women, (ie; substance abusers, those who were emotionally vacant, etc,)were more than happy to seek me out. After my last bad break up, I decided to stop trying to find love until I had an idea of the kind of man that I wanted and until I decided that I was WORTHY of having that kind of love. It was a year to the month of my breakup with my previous boyfriend, that I met the man that I am in love with now. I didn't have to search long, nor did I have to go through dozens of profiles before we met.
So I do think that how we REALLY feel about ourself is what attracts the kind of people who we meet. I don't think that it is a conscious act, though. I do think that if we tell ourselves that we are worthy of love and are specific in what that means to us, we will find it.
I certainly dont go out of my way to look for horrible people.. or guys with more drama than most daily soap operas... but as my mother says.. I just seem to attract them. Yep, if you are married and looking to lie and cheat.. or if you have to take more drugs than a pharmacy to get through your day... you will be attracted to me!!
But seriously, there are nice guys out there.... but even the nice ones usually have hang ups... :) Same with women... Dont think im pointing fingers at the men...
Perfection is a myth.... Im just looking for someone who I mesh with... that meshes with me.. :)
Well, I don't know about anyone else but I think you are a cutie! I can't imagine anyone overlooking you. A cutie and a nice guy... just the combination most women ARE looking for! At least I hope they are.
All I can say is it's too bad I'm old enough to be your mother! You have NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING to worry about! Thanks for your thoughts and for voicing your concerns. We all need to be encouraged from time to time!
Actually i found you very attractive. It is hard to pick a "nice" one from a pic and profile, so just keep plugging away and you will find the "one". Join us on the chat and maybe you will meet her sooner than later.
Kat , I couldn't agree more. The nice ones seem to pass me by , too.