Yeah, Geminiboss... that was my point exactly in the very beginning. We have to be careful to be sure that we don't get ugly with it. I think that we should just basically say, "Joe_Blow may not be what he claims to be so be cautious" instead of "Joe_Blow is a no good piece of dogdoo" .... you know what I mean? Let's not be ugly to anyone.... it's jut not necessary.
this just my opinion on this subject. we need to be careful , there are always 2 sides to every story. we need to be careful not to banish someone, just because 1 person out of the 2 didnt get what they wanted out of the relationship, or friendship. i agree in part. if someone is chatting up more than one person and telling all of them that they are the one and only, then so be it. they will have to deal with that.
i am just saying that we need to get all of the facts before someone is condemed. that is just my take on the subject .
Laura_Ocean write: Don't look at the person that hurt you like he was out to get you, but rather that he loved you enough to let you go. After all, he might not have been able to give you the life you so richly deserve. Just like Whitney Houston's song from the BodyGuard movie, ???I will always love you???. He loved you enough to give you up to have a better chance at a more wonderful life.
As wonderful as that seems, the fact is he lied about his name. He lied about his name. HE LIED ABOUT HIS NAME.
That's just...wrong...on so many levels. In other words, the first question I asked was, "What's your name?" and he answered with a LIE. And though I sound really bitter and very angry, please understand that a lot of that anger is directed at myself for falling for it. Yes, he is a horse's @ss but if I fell for it, so am I. I know that. I also know that my intentions were honest, ethical and true and his were never anything but deceitful.
Now, I'm very blessed to have an absolutely wonderful man in my life now and I thank the gods for sending him my way each and every day.
Rockchick,I've never seen so many Schmucks in one place!!! You're so cute! But back on the topic, I've seen some real jerks on here and I've also met some really cool people. I mean girls as well as guys. I have a blast reading the forums and talking to people and I'm not going to let a few Schmucks (ha!) mess up a good thing. I can meet men anywhere, but I like hanging out here for now. If it happens, it happens, if not, oh well, some dude is totally missing out, cuz I'm pretty awesome (I'd date me)!!
HEYMARGO thats some heavy duty stuff you went thru !!! WOW .... and laura-Ocean, as much as your post was lovely and insightful, I am afraid that a Schmuck is a Schmuck and if he knows he is a schmuck then he shouldnt bring his Schmuckness into some poor unsuspecting victims life, just to have it all end cause he knew he wasnt good enuff in the first place .... find a schmuckette to be happy with and spin their world of BS in their own Schmuck world .... I too try and stay on the bright side of things but sometimes enuff becomes enuff and u have to bring that festering fire inside to the top and let them have it !!!! hmmm now i got that off my chest !! lol
this is TOTALLY off the topic , but I have to say lwrygrl you are the spitting image of a character on the lame a$$ show that I am addicted to stupidly enuff, JAN SPEARS on Days of our lives ... Oh man I cant believe I admitted to watching that show !!! but I just had to tell u !!
Time marches on, and having wonderful girlfriends really helps to heal broken hearts. Sometimes they can tell you things like how much more worthwhile you are than someone who hurt you. And then again, sometimes someone realizes that he simply isn't good enough for you and could never be, so he had to pull away.
You pick up the pieces of your broken heart and go on. Then one day you realize he was right, because you find someone much better suited to you that you might have not given the time of day when you were in the other relationship and now you can enjoy your new sweetie.
Of course, these are just my opinions and my persistent ability to look on the good side no matter how bad the situation. You can sit there and look at the glass, crying because it is half empty or you can smile when you look and think, ???Hey, I still have lots left!???. Think positively on the past situation and what you learned from it, and go on with a smile for the new person. I simply refuse to give up on life, love and the powers of wonderful friends!
I know how it feels to be hurt. At first I was agreeing that someone who did that to me should be exposed for what he was. I was feeling very badly and depressed until I had a chat with a wonderful friend. She helped me look at it a totally different way that I thought I would share with those who have been hurt too. Its kind of like the ???glass is half full not half empty??? idea.
Don't look at the person that hurt you like he was out to get you, but rather that he loved you enough to let you go. After all, he might not have been able to give you the life you so richly deserve. Just like Whitney Houston's song from the BodyGuard movie, ???I will always love you???. He loved you enough to give you up to have a better chance at a more wonderful life. Like the song, he wishes you joy and happiness and love, perhaps more than he could have ever given you. He knew he wouldn't be enough or have enough inside of him to make you happy, so he went away and left you to find a better life. He knew you would find someone more suitable and of higher quality than he would ever be, so he let you go.
Please allow me to put things into perspective...seeming to be a jerk and being a jerk are 2 completely different animals. The first one came down to San Antonio from Houston and told me everything I wanted to hear. I believed it, hook, line and sinker. My bad. I allowed him into my home to meet my family and he lied to them, too. He lied about his name, he lied about his life, he lied about everything and I let him. But the worst was when he lied about getting into a horrific car accident on his way back from seeing me. I still didn't know I was being played until I tried to find him in the hospital he said he was in...I started doing some detective work and figured the whole thing out. I chalk it up to me being naive and (at the time) a little desperate. My bad. Never again. The second person never got that far. His attempt was pathetic. I got his real name out of him (after playing dumb) and looked him up at publicdata where I found that he was married and had a violent criminal history. He denided all of it and then got drunk and called me one night, demanding to know where I got my info. The third one lied about being married, stating he was divorced but living with his ex-wife so as to assist her with gastric-bipass surgery using his insurance. One day, he let it slip that they were still married. CYA!
So, you can understand my lack of concern for the privacy of these jerks as they have no concern for anyone other than their libidos.
You are right people are not always as they seem. It may seem people are worse than they are for a bad experience that you had with them. Some times people just mess up and it doesn't make them a jerk but in the persons eyes that was hurt of course they will take it harder. So should we really expose peoples on a website when it may not be the way a person is all the time? Should we listen to third party comments on other people or experience things for ourselves? I know there are people on here that think I am a jerk because I had blatently stated my opinion in a forum. I was able to redeem myself because I SAW all the slander about me and explained it was a misunderstanding.
My point is- you really don't know what some ones intentions are so why bash them on the net especially when they don't know it so they can't explain themselves?
joey76 write: Thats right. I agree totally, people are not always as they seem
Hello out there . Here are my thoughts on the subject of rude people -- well on second thoughts it is not printable .
I have a book of excuses that have been used for men not calling but family deaths & illnesses are common. Funny though, as someone else has already mentioned they can keep active on the sites & winking other people.I am adult enough to know when it is a fizzer without too much ado -- but I will NEVER understand why they lie let alone think we are too stupid to know .I also was really worried about a guy who was a bit overworked, stressed & just vanished so I kept thinking he was dead -- He showed up on the site a couple of weeks later . Cheers & give me a yee- hoo if u want
LOL..Just think of all the categories we could come up with!-Make them earn points to get on the good list! A board of directors could review them LOL The directors ,of course being women who've been burned!
I am new to this -but here's my opinion for whatever it's worth: Why not start a list for all the WORTHWHILE guys out there?? A list of jerks would start up alot of flack for sure.- Oh and let me add that I would be willing to offer my services to check out any potential candidates for that list-Just looking to serve my community...LOL
I'd like to add...if one person says something about another person, one could chalk that up to just bad feelings. If 2 people say the same thing, could give one a reason to pause. If 3 people say the same thing, that's a pattern. There's too many idiots out there as it is and I for one don't have the time to weed through the BS. Any help that someone wants to give me, I'll take it. You read about the crap all the time where someone has taken 10, 12 men or women for a ride, and I'm not talking about a long, leisurely ride in the country in a convertable. If someone wants to take the time to inform others about someone, I'll read it and MAKE MY OWN DECISION. I have no one to blame but myself then if something goes wrong.
I, for one, think it's a great idea. Not responding to a wink is one thing. They just weren't interested and I'm adult enough to realize that. Leading someone on and telling them what they thing they want to hear, is entirely different. True enough, they might be feeling it at the time they say it, but they need to make sure before they say it, that they aren't going to have any regrets in the near future. That's playing with people's emotions and that just not cool. When we start speaking from the heart, we need to be careful of what we say. On the other hand, I have had personal contact a guy on this site, who's very active on the message boards and comes acrossed as a dear sweetheart, but come to find out after 6 mos (off and on) the "sweet nothings" he was telling me in the beginning was just that....sweet "nothings". Unfortunately now, if I say anything about it, it's going to sound like I'm the jaded lover. One has to think, since he's all nicey-nice and presents himself as a real gem, who's everyone going to believe? It's too lengthy to go into here so I'll keep my mouth shut on the board, but I have much to say if anyone cares to hear. Think y*h00 if you want to chat.
You seem like one of the most together men I've ever heard of online, but you are a rare gem my dear! I'm not saying all men are scum, anymore than I would say all women are trollups, but online you can HIDE a whole lot more than you may in a face to face scenario.
I will say this, and a lot of the women hit the nail on the head here...just because you 'warn' folks about someone being a bit underhanded, doesn't mean they will listen or get it. And speaking from personal experience I met someone and he was 'wonderful' until all his little lies started to unwind.
Long story short, while he was seeing me...exclusively as he convinced me, I find out that he got another woman pregnant. Shock was a good way to describe the situation because I fell for this man in a big way, and I was 'warned' about him but chose to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I met this lively fellah online. I didn't listen to the warning from a woman I knew that also met him, but I found out after the fact that she was right and I was so wrong about him. I'm not saying I wouldn't have met him, regardless, but I should have been more open minded. I just figured she was spurned and trying to get even with him.
WE all have to make decisions, but I would rather have a 'friendly' heads up about a person than to go in completely blind. But all of this is a personal decision. I still date and enjoy the company of men, I just air on the side of caution and dont' take everything they say as gospel. Just my two cents for what it is worth.