Hi, I know exactly how you feel as I have noticed this with men that contact me too! The genuine ones never comment that I'm sexy looking they say your lovely,beautiful how come you don't have a boyfriend, the slime say your hot your sexy within the 1st paragraph & go on to continually bring these words up trying to turn the conversation towards sex, they don't want to talk about themselves or give too much info up on themselves(usually coz they're married or in a relationship) & you know instantly there's only one thing on there minds "can they get it", "are you up for it", & when can they?
No it's not you, it's the riff Raff that comes with dating territories alas, but there are the genuine ones out there looking for more & not how just to get l$*@ the quickest & cheapest way!! Stand your ground your beliefs, chew the hay & find the needle in that stack that doesn't sting!
I think you're being a very smart lady by refusing to see him again. His behaviour was beyond rude. If he treated you like that on a first date because he was in a bad mood, can you imagine how he would treat you after he got to know you and he was in a bad mood ? As for why he apologized and is now being so sweet, this is my take on that. There are some guys whose ego cann't take being turned down by a gal so they go all out woeing her, just to prove to themselves they can win her over. And then once they win her over they lose interest. Either way the guy sounds like he is a self centered, ego maniac to me.
Vickimonet, I'd go with your gut feeling on this. That was your very first date & it sounds like he wasn't even trying to make a good impression until his thoughts turned to the bedroom, and even then all he could come up with was a generic description of you as sexy (what made you sexy to him---your personality? your conversation? your legs? or just that he wants action?). In my opinion you're not being mean at all! If you really don't want to date him but want to appease your mutual friend by giving him a 2nd chance, maybe you could insists it be a double-date, or group date. That way you won't have to put up with the guy all by yourself.
The gesture of roses is very nice, but careful. If he was having a bad day this time around and it was not because of you, what will happen (his bahaviour) when you have your first disagreement. This may have given you a bit more information about his personality right from the start.
Maybe he was having a really bad day, and 3 dozen pink roses is a nice gesture.
But, he hasnt said sorry? or explained why he was so cranky?
Guess its up to you to decide if he is worth a second chance?...Maybe he was trying too hard and going the wrong way about impressing you? Some guys simply get it wrong sometimes!
And at least he called you sexy...would have been worse if he had called you something nasty or unpleasant or umcomplimentary?
Hugs, and you will make the right choice in the end!
I would hold my ground, if I were you. Having a bad day can make someone cranky and irritable, but there is NO excuse for rude and disrespectful behavior.
I am sorry you had a bad time. I can't believe he expected sex on a first date. Also, because of what you told him, he probably thinks that if he can get you to have a good time on the next date, that you'll have sex with him then.
If you do go out with him again, keep your guard up, and take it easy! Don't rush into anything.
I understand how you feel. I personally feel small women generally aren't treated the way we are for the most part. The worst date I ever had was similiar.
I met him at a restaurant where we basically camped at this waiter's table for 3 hours, preventing him from making the tips he would have made if we'd just eaten and left. We had pre-determined we'd go dutch. This guy I was with was a computer programmer for FedEx...he made the bucks. What do you think he did? He ordered a salad and water. At the end of our date (by which time I'd already determined we had nothing in common) he further alienated me by actually taking a calculator out and calculating the proper tip! Since he only bought a salad, he laid 32 cents on the table. THIRTY-TWO frikkin cents after this guy attended us religiously for three hours!!!! I was disgusted. I went back in and gave the waiter a proper tip and told him he'd NEVER see us in there together again.
I don't think you are reading too much at all. If it had just been using "sexy" as a compliment, I may have suggested giving him another chance, but put together with the other things....
For me, if my date treated the server at the restaurant badly, it was a huge red flag. Put that together with no tip, and you have a person who expects the world to cater to them. That would have been enough by itself for me. Add on being late, and ordering you water and not offering anything else even when he was having something else, and it's more than enough to decide not to want to see someone again. It all seems like indications of being a self-centered, thoughtless person.
Vicki, he sounds like an ignorant pig, and I would have reacted the same way.
Unfortunately, some people go through life without learning any manners.
We just live and learn....but all men are not the same, so move on and find a good one x