why do i not feel comfortable with my size to other people who meet me they think im a very outgoing person but inside im not i hate going into pubs and clubs cause i feel if your not a slim lady you always get pushed aside why does the world make you feel like that.

GWOODS, I AGREE WITH YOU! YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE BIG OR SMALL. IT MAY BE HARD TO ACCEPT THOUGH. THINK ABOUT THIS, IF YOU BELIEVE NO ONE IS ASKING YOU OUT BECAUSE OF YOUR WEIGHT AND THEN YOU LOSE WIEGHT AND THEY STILL DON'T ASK YOU OUT YOU MAY HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT IT WASN'T THE WEIGHT ALL ALONG. I HAVE BEEN TOLD I CAN BE INTIMIDATING AND UNAPPROACHABLE. THEY WERE AFRAID OF ME REJECTING THEM. GO FIGURE.

This is something that I grappled with a lot when I was younger. So I watched other people to try and figure out what made some more approachable than others, and some completely unapproachable. Found out something interesting. Those that became fixated with whatever problems they saw in themselves developed a rather miserable attitude, and people didn't approach them as much. Those that didn't seem to notice their imperfections, and had confidence seemingly from an unseen source were approached much more often. I think we create our limitations. Try focusing on what makes you not only beautiful but also wonderful. Looking at the big picture will you want to have been a miserable person, or someone who sees past imperfections and chooses to be happy?

I totally agree with this because all my friends are always worried about losing weight and being skinny. I mean they'd all love it if they get under 100 lbs and I'll NEVER be 100 lbs. unless I'm on my death bed! I'm tall and curvy, with an hourglass figure and I have to have more weight on me or I look terrible. I don't really worry about trying to meet those standards of beauty, because I find that a lot of guys like curvy, full-figured girls. They like the hips and b**bs and looking like a real woman, not a stick!

Nicely said Red I totally agree with you. The older I get the more I quit worrying about how others view me. I am the same person big or little you ethier like me or you do not.

Hey Sugar,

It's ok to feel like that....many women and men are brainwashed by the modern media and entertainment to only see 'thin' as beautiful. And unfortunately, most men don't take the risk to think differently (except the fabulous guys on this site!) even when most of the same guys, if asked privately , say they prefer a nicely padded lady.

But you know in your heart you're beautiful the way you are! You're unique, one of a kind. Listen to your friends, who love you for you. Keep smiling, and shake off the negative folks.

I usually feel sorry for the guys who have passed my by on their way to the size 4.....Wow!! they really have no idea what they're missing!

It really shouldn't matter what other people think; unfortunately though, it does matter a great deal to some of us. I'm certainly not the most handsome man in the world and I really don't care if other "people" think there's somthing wrong with my appearance. I just try to live each day without trying to compare myself to some "Ideal" man. I try to be the best myself that I can be. Maybe there would be far fewer neurotic people in the world if we could all stop emulating or striving to be the "Perfectly Ideal" people whom society "demands" us to be. In short; just be yourself and try to be the best person you can be.

I know where you are all coming from and i know we are no the only ones. Friends and family see me for the person i am but are also very quick to forget that i am not just a fat, funny girl, which is the ususal description. Yes i like being am to make people laugh and a sense of humour is great, but when will others realise that at times this is a defence reflects, especially when meeting new people.

Cinni.... Wow I had never thought of it that way but you are so right.
I have the same feeling when I go out to bars or in public places it is like it intimidates me. But my friends think that I am out going. I can't figure it out either.
Would love to find a place to go where us bigger people are more and skinner people are few.

Well... TSK unfortunatley I am NOW understanding EXACTLY WHAT you ARE saying! it's frustrating it IS!
I mean what? OMG? I've always been slim too and now suddenly to be more overweight as I'm aging well it's tramautic to say the least. I suppose it's how you look at it too and your attitude about it but? How can one NOT e a bit discouraged in being a bit overweight. My thing is that I did quit smoking 6 years ago but I'm SO GLAD I quit! Weight gain and all. So it's just hard and now I am realizng as you get larger the harder it is. I have to say I TRULY ENVY the larger person who has such a GREAT positive attitude out there. I truly admire this in you. I'm feeling as this poster is a little bit here too especially where I've never been this large before except one other time. ugh... So... I am GLAD FOR ONE thing this board is here and other people like us here AMEN! I welcome you to email me and I have invited you to as well. Hello to all out there and someone encourage us more? HELP (LOL)
But I'm trying not to be TOO negative either?

I like your post!.

I sometimes feel like that too howver I now just think f*ck it and party with the best of them anyway. All my friends love me for who I am and if anyone has any problems with the way I look it's their problem not mine.

You are who you are and no-one has the right to make you feel bad about yourself withour your permission.

Chin up babe, stay strong.

well this is just a theory of mine but I seem to notice that throughout history that which is not the norm or is not common is whats in vogue or popular. Larger women used to be desireable back in the 15/1600's,when most women were very thin due to being poor and not having enough to eat. they were thought of as lower class while the heavier women were popular because they were rich and had plenty of food and were less common,thus that was desireable. Nowadays the majority of the world is heavy and thin people are the uncommon ones and now they are the desireables. But this theory can be used in most instances, lets face it the more rare something is the more value it has in the world. And its too bad that this is applied to people with feelings, I hate it just as much as you.