Like many of you I guess, I've been struggling with being larger my entire life. I was chided by parents, tortured by peers, and ridiculed by strangers (THEY, at least, should have known better) for being a larger woman. It has been difficult for me to accept myself all along. When I was really young, wore a size 16 bikini, with curves to kill... I was called fat. The weight has crept on since then but I've managed to keep it below 300 and at size 26-28W. I am not going to be happy if I get heavier as it is hard on me physically. I just feel so downtrodden emotionally that I'm having difficulty finding the motivation to change anything in my life. Now I find that there are men who love BBW's. WOW! That's great. Except, am I not fat enough now?! I don't know which way to go with it anymore. I don't know how or where I fit in. If one more relative or friend says "you have such a pretty face" (meaing too bad the rest of you isn't), I'll scream!!!! Help me, someone! Tell me how you cope, what you do to shore yourself up when you feel you are at your lowest, when all you want is someone to hold you and love you for who you are all over, inside and out.
Good advice Freckles. I'd say the same thing. What's fat to one person is thin to another. Don't let anyone tell you you're not 'Fat' enough......likewise don't let anyone tell you you're not 'Thin' enough. You are just perfect for you....And you are a shining, smiling, stellar person no matter what the scale says.
I too have always battled with ridicule, but I'm learning to accept myself. If we don't accept ourselves for WHO we are, we will never be happy....not even at our thinnest.
Something that really helped me was getting involved in the size acceptance movement, which is what you are doing here. Find more places to interact with BBW/BHM/FA....you'll feel better knowing that there are PLENTY of people in the same situation and many (if not all) of them find you attractive EXACTLY as you are.
A turning point for me was reading "Nothing To Lose" by Cheri Erdman. You can order it from Amazon.com for only about $10. It turned things around for me.
There are BBW events all over the country that cater just to us, so get involved! Some of us are planning to go to the BBW Network's Bash in Las Vegas, please feel free to come along!! We have been posting about it in this forum under the heading "Viva Las Vegas!!!"
I feel your angst. When I joined this site, I weighed in at about 350 and wore a size 28 (I'm 5'10"). I'm down to a 24 bottom, 18/20 top (which is weird because I'm top heavy) and losing more and more everyday. I got bronchitis for 2 months, got my tongue pierced and got put on Adderall for ADHD; all of these factors have culminated in an ongoing weightloss, which I like...does that make me a hypocrite? I get comments from men with whom I'm corresponding about the weight loss and they're not really positive comments. These men would like for me to put the weight back on and we've not even met in person! C'est la vie, sweeties...there are profiles I have seen in which the gentlemen prefer "a few extra pounds, curvy" vs. the standard "large" answer. Even though I could very easily be considered large by some, I now call myself curvy or voluptuous so that there is no misconception. He'll come along...
Just hang in there ok? I am 5'1 and my ex(we are separated now) said that he couldnt love me because I was heavy, I put on weight over the years, and I am so glad to see that there are guys who love bigger women, we are uniquie and wonderful dont forget that, give me a reply ok?
My advice would be to talk to more people on this site. I'm the "fat" one in my group. I'm at an even 200, which at 5ft2in already causes my knees to creak. Anyway, to the point, I was feeling pretty badly about myself because I put on 35 lbs in a matter of 3-4 weeks, and then another ten while trying to "diet". The people here on this site have made me feel more attractive than I have in YEARS. They are beautiful people, and will make you realize that you are too! Dont worry so much about weight or size. Just remember to stay healthy, THATS what matters.
And just know that you are loved!