Did you ever notice that we keep picking the same WRONG types of men and or women? I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and all have the same qualities,, the exact ones i say i'm not going to tolerate in a mate. Why do I keep gravitating towards the same wrong personalities for me????? any help would be appreciated....
Good job, Cindy Number 2! I need to change my outlook, too. But it's HARD. I'm trying, but it's HARD. No one wants to do the hard stuff in life, but if we do, and begin to take care of ourselves, we feel so much better-- about everything. So, I'm gonna go for the gold: ME!
Hi all, no help here but I just went thru the same thing. I still don't know why I didn't see from the begining that she was the same as the other. Took me almost 6 months to see it and yet I still stayed a year.
Hi, Cindy.... from another Cindy! I think that we tend to have unresolved cr*p from earlier relationships when we keep picking the wrong (and similar) types of people. I remember the day that I got fed up and decided to reduce my bad relationships to their common denominator. I did so and felt a little horrified to realize that C.D. was .....ME! Ya know what that meant? I had to start working on myself, my issues and my low self-esteem that put me in harm's way of picking losers. It's a process but I have picked a much better calibre of man in more recent years because that's what I truly want and deserve.
Why do deadbeats keep finding you? Because they are there, because you will tolerate them, because they can be that way for at least a few years before you get really tired of it. The real question is: what's in it for YOU that you keep gravitating toward them? My vote is still for unfinished business from your life that you keep trying to "finish" in these relationships.
My guess is that you have someone in your life (your past, perhaps?) that you have been trying to prove something to, to make that person love and accept you. You keep playing out that scene over and over again in your relationships to gain that acceptance, but you aren't getting it. The "cure?" Learn to love and appreciate yourself much better, and you will start expecting more from the man you choose to be in your life. Make yourself into the type of person who commands respect and you'll give yourself permission to be pickier. That reduces the men available to you, but the quality goes way up.
If your man is not "bringing in the bacon" then it is time to reconsider. I am one of those who does not do housework. That does not mean that i do not help around the house. When I was growing up I was not allowed in the kitchen by my mother. This has happened to more men than you would ever believe. I did mow the lawn, shovel snow, clean windows, and house repairs. And I did bring home a paycheck. I just hope that your relationships are open enough to discuss (not argue) your feelings.
wow,, ok,, um,, didn't mean we,, i guess i meant me. and i'm not tired of my man, I'm tired of being treated like a "den mother", I am the only one that cooks , cleans, does laundry, mows the lawn, ect... all the men i've had seem to settle back and watch me do all the work around the house and not help. 3 relationships, one 12 years,,one 9 years, and my current one is 2 years this week. so,, help me now. now that you know a little more about what i've done.
First of all do not say we as if every woman here has the same problem. Concentrate on Cindy. Serious relationships. How long did each one last and when did you discover they were bad? It almost seems that they became bad when you became tired of the other person. Self analysis is needed to stop the cycle. God bless and take care.