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Just me again with a Q
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Posted on Sun, Mar 19, 2006 15:46

As I have said before thank you again for the good advice.. You all have taken the time to leave here for me.. How ever I would like to respectfully ask.. That this thread be allowed to die now.. As in life everything changes in time..So dose certain situations a person finds them selves in..I no longer wish this topic to continue..And I ask that you all please respect this..Thanks again Pinkpenguins..

  


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Posted on Fri, Mar 17, 2006 18:36

hey pink i'm glad to hear u are working it out but i'm going to still give u my piece ....i was with a greek guy for 5 years and my weight was a constant issue ....he also liked to drink and when he did he was a nasty S.O.B and the next day he would be so apologitic for his horrendous behaviour...he had low self esteem and being young i felt it was my duty to always pull him out from the dump...but he never returned the favor..those years were hell and eventually when we broke up i was so exhausted emotionally...now there were red flags before we became serious but i choosed to ignore it...and in the end i suffered ....even if you lose the weight and you change he will find something else to complain about ....until he decides to change his attitude...it's never going to get better...Now i was young when that happened to me and the woman that i'm today will not stand for that crap...all i'm saying from a woman who has been there ...keep your eyes open and your ears perked ...cause you can't change people and you should not be subjected to the fantasy of another because if he really likes you, he will accept you no matter your size...btw -when i started dating my ex -i was much smaller and i gained 40 lbs..i went from a size 10 to a size 16 ..in part you feel guilty right ...but that's life ...if you have any doubt ...give it up...it is not worth it ...I've met a wonderful guy on this site who accepts me and my size....you will find someone who will love you for you....emotional abuse is strong and they don't heal fast and they have lasting results ...now i'm not saying that your friend will be that type of a person but be sure of any other red flags... i wish you the best pink



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Posted on Thu, Mar 16, 2006 02:04

Thank you all for the replys and great advice..Me and him have talked things tho and have worked things out.. I am in the process of trying to lose weight.. But it is for my own health and well being.. Thank you again for all the advice..

  


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Posted on Thu, Mar 16, 2006 02:03

NO NO NO!!!!! I don't think you should change who you are for someone! I married what I thought was the love of my life. Gorgeous, handsome, sexy, blah blah blah. And he left me for being too fat! Now, I'm roughly the same size now as I was when we met. I starved myself for several years trying to lose weight to make him happy. Then I got pregnant, my pelvic bone split open...extrememly painful! And due to that, put loads of weight on during my pregnancy. He then left me. You can never change someone....they are who they are. And if you/they cannot love each other for who you are inside...it is not worth it! Its not worth the heartbreak, the tears, the pain, when the relationship finishes. Better to wait for someone who will love you for who are, not what you look like. (Sorry, this is a huge sore contention for me, having lived it.) PLEASE!!! Don't make the same mistake I did!

  


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Posted on Wed, Mar 15, 2006 10:16

It's one thing to suggest change, it's another to harp on it. If you like how you are and feel healthy (no physical problems cause of weight) then tell him you don't want to lose weight. If he keeps it up dump him. You don't need someone to bring you down. Love isn't about changing people it's about opening doors in you life and letting people and things in that you may not have thought about before. If he was offering to do something physical that he thought is fun and wants to share with you that he thought you might like to do(dancing, yoga, mountain climbing)that results in weight loss fine but deliberately saying things that amount to "your fat lose weight" is mean and stupid. A person like that doesn't care about the other persons feelings. Git a real man.



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Posted on Sat, Dec 31, 2005 10:21

Pink hun, id ditch this guy, he doesnt even sound worthy enough to be a friend as friends dont talk like that or hide things from each other, call him an aquaintence, and he shud be proud he is even that!

Maybe even one day tell him or others that critasize the weight of a person,that u may be larger but u can lose weight, they are stuck with that face and most probably that attitude for life!! lol whos better off now??

Also, do the fattists never stop to think, what would happen to them if say one day they had an accident and were immobile for quite a while and unable to exercise or even walk, the weight then CAN pile on, or what wud happen if they were disfigured in any way, wud they expect you not to be as shallow as them and stay with them or be vain and selfish and walk away??

Wether male or Female, there has been and always be people that have closed minds! and unfortunately they are the people that end up lonely and bitter. as i have and always say, treat someone as you expect to be treated yourself, none of us are gods, we are human and have from the smallest to sometimes the biggest flaws, but thats what makes us US and we are then unique!!

huggles Vonnie xx

  
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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 21:55

Thank you all for the feed back :)



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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 09:16

Same as me. Went out with a lovely man yesterday who made it quite clear how beautiful I was (through the whole time we were together too) and how mad hubby was to let me go. lol!!! I'm not used to that sort of adoration. Yessssssssss this is one for all the BBW!!!!!!!!!!!



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Posted on Mon, Dec 26, 2005 01:58

if this man really cares for you he would not be telling you to lose weight, after all what attracted him to you inthe first place ? i myself am a uk size 26 and yes i could be doing with losing some weight but i would NOT do it if a man was to ask me to they either take me the way i am or they know where the door is as they say there are plaenty of men out there that like the larger woman,
i recently split with my hubby well back in nov and i have not had so many offers in my life and i am larger now than before my hubby and i got together i started seeing a wonderfull man in nov and 2 days later was asked out by another 4 dont know what i have but am happy with the one i am seeing he does not have a problem with my size he himself is not a lerge man he is of meduuim build and very good looking so i was supprised when he made a move on me , i had fancued him for a few months but never thought i would ever be with him if it last it lasts if not well i took my chance but just be yourself and Do not let any man dictate to you that you must lose weight for him if you want to lose weight do it for yourself



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Posted on Sun, Dec 25, 2005 13:02

I think well and good if you do want to lose weight but realistically if your body shape and size have something to do with hormones/genes/heritage (like mine)then it will be very difficult to keep it off. What life will you have if you or anybody else constantly examines everything you eat?



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Posted on Thu, Dec 22, 2005 18:02

Thats crazy Pink, I wouldnt be putting too much heartfelt effort into this dude... and keep him as a friend only ... even so as to day that he comes from a country full of "healthy people and wouldnt want people looking at you strangely" What the hell !! thats just stoopid ... I had a similar experience with a guy from PA USA... I met him even tho he wasnt into larger women ... and he was something like 80lbs overweight himself !! he thought he would be able to overcome it cause he liked my personality ... yeah right !!needless to say it was a VERY expensive let down on my part especially if we are talking other countries .... dont sell yourself short hun , lose weight if you want to for health reasons or whatever ... but dont lose your heart to someone who isnt going to want you for whatever shape u are ...

  


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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 07:56

Not preferring larger women is OK, but saying "if you were thin Id marry you" is a dime a dozen, very cheap. If you lost weight it'd be "if you had naturally purple hair I'd marry you".



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Posted on Wed, Dec 21, 2005 04:02

PinkPenguins write:
Dose any one here think that if you care for a person and want to be with them.. You should be willing to change your self for them..IE lost weight and so on..



My answer is NOOOOOOOOO! Yes, it is unhealthy to be fat and it is normal for people who care about you to want you to lose weight to be healthier. However, that has to be YOUR choice... no one elses! If he cannot love you for who you are right now, then that is his problem. If you want to lose weight, then do it for YOU .... not for anyone else. Be yourself. Just my opinion.