Fulfilling A Natural Desire Friendship

  • View author's info Author posted on Aug 23, 2005 11:31

    Unfortunately there are some marriages in which the spouse has lost interest in physical passions, for whatever reason. Maybe the physical attraction has been lost. Selfishly that spouse thinks that your natural drive should be dead too. I think that intimate friendships are then a healthy alternative if both "friends" understand the bounderies and respect the need for discretion. Would love to hear input from others.
  • 21Comments

  • View author's info posted on Oct 15, 2005 07:50

    GW you're being a pratt.

    ALL human inter-relation is based on assumptions. You assume that people speak your language, you assume that they feel similarly to stuff as you, they assume they're not flesh-eating cannibals.

    You're moaning about being judged on a personals site? If you don't like it, go live in a cave somewhere.

    If these women think you're looking for some and you're not then the correct response is "Thank you, I'll make my profile clearer" not to shriek "If you ASSUME you make an AS'S out of U and ME" and do that weird thing with your neck that people do on Ricky Lake.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 10, 2005 03:58

    If they have permission from their wives than it's not cheating, it's an open relationship.

    Not that I'd want one... in my experience I simply wouldn't have the time or energy to run two relationships at once. If you don't love the one you're with, be with the one you love to paraphrase the song.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 09, 2005 13:44

    MrGW write:
    I just spent some time re-reading these posts in this subject. I do have some questions now. Who has descided that EVERY man who uses this site is (as was so eloquently put) "looking for some"?

    I'm not in the 'morality police' MrGW, and I enjoy your posts and your opinions.
    But it says clearly in your profile that you are married, with children, and you are seeking an intimate encounter. You mention cuddling and kissing, and that you require someone who is 'clean' (unnecessary for email & chat, I imagine).
    I'm a little confused when you seem indignant when it's assumed that you are 'looking for some'.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 05, 2005 07:48

    WOW! What a topic. I just want to observe - I am amazed.
  • View author's info posted on Oct 05, 2005 01:20

    Wow...I go away for a month or so and come back and whammo! It looks like all hell has broken loose on the forums. I like this guy! Are you a psychiatrist or perhaps clinicial worker of sorts?

    First and foremost I'd like to say I agree with some of your points. When the fire begins to dwindle, it's important to seek kindling. Although fidelity is in the best interest. Perhaps that is why most people seek out the fantasy that is the cyber chat room. The human mind is an incredible tool and if used correctly can create massive stimulus in various forms. So while fidelity and trust is important so is an active and healthy sexual lifestyle. I'm not saying if you are unhappy run out and find the next woman and man you want to get with. I'm saying be honest with your partner about your intentions. Go online express those fantasies and desires through the internet once again developing an honest and open relationship with individuals. Roleplaying is Key. But you've got to make sure the individual (as well as sifnificant other) on the other end of the cable or phone line is aware of your intent. People you do it anyways, don't hide it. It only makes things worse. I could go for days on this subject.

    By the way, I am divorced, but not due to the lack of intimacy. My ex had a heavy hand and is unable to maintain financial records for that matter gainful employment.

    Anyways, just my common sense at work again. Sometimes morals are held on too high a pedestal and expectations are too high to meet. Honesty mixed with a little integrity and a dash of laughter my friend...
  • View author's info posted on Sep 27, 2005 15:05

    to start with mc marine what a wind up merchant.

    kewannap, i didnt realise it was a singles site i thought the title was large friends, friends being the key word.

    i personally am married but like chatting with people from all over regardless of status age or anything else that may be considered non pc correct, luvver was probrably a bad choice of nickname but i am male after all and wasnt thinkin about the connortations at the time.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 26, 2005 08:13

    ill never understand... if i ever found a lady kind enough to marry me, i would be so happy every day to just be alive and in love... maybe i am just too young to understand... or i am just totally removed from reality... but... why would anyone ever cheat on their spouse... i just don't get it
  • View author's info posted on Sep 07, 2005 17:04

    Somehow the excuses mem make for staying in a passionless marriage always revolve around them staying for the kids or even that the wife can't support herself and he just can't leave her without support,or he loves her but he has these needs... I've even heard "I'm afraid of her!!" Bologna! It's all about the money girls! When a man gets a certain age and he wants out, the "passionless" wife gets half of everything, in some cases he's got to pay maintainence as well. That's when we really hear the cries of his martyrdom! My 2 cents are on the fact that his "needs" are in his pants, that is, his pockets.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 06, 2005 09:55

    I'm almost afraid to post on this one. I just don't want anyone to jump down my throat or chew my a**. But I think we need to give mcmarine some credit. After all, he is being honest and up front. He's not pretending to be single just to snag some pu**y, like a lot of guys do. If you read his profile he states that he is married. I do know some women who only get invovled with married men. They claim married men are "safe" and can have the benefits, joys and comforts of a man,yet not have to deal with all the crap that comes with a relationship. I'm not saying I agree with him. My ex cheated on me, with women I thought were my friends. And it wasn't cuz he wasn't getting it at home. I have an above normal s_e_x drive, so that was never a problem. But I do see mcmarine's point and can see why some women would prefer to hook up with a married man. Who wouldn't like to get Scr#wed from time time and not worry about becoming attached to guy who you know is gonna dump ya and break your heart anyway. As long as the married person is honest and up front, I say it's his business. I guess my point is, at least he's being honest, which is alot more than most guys!!
  • View author's info posted on Sep 05, 2005 13:43

    Treasure05 write:
    Awwwwww who cares about the ol' 'Devil Dog.' I had one of those at 7-11 the other day, for 79 cents.

    Girls, I just want to tell you a little story on the topic of military personnel that may amuse you.

    Years ago, I was taken to lunch at the officers' mess by a very attractive Air Force lieutenant. While I was enjoying my rare roast beef (served exquisitely), he confessed he was married. I stood up, put my hand on my curvy hip & announced, "Married? You sir, may be an officer. But you are no gentleman. After I finish this lovely meal, you will take me straight home, in silence, & never call me again." His mates applauded.

    And so my wish was his command.

    Excellent!!!!!! I wish I'd been there to experience that. Well done young lady! As ex-Airforce myself i chuckle a little more at this... well done
  • View author's info posted on Sep 04, 2005 16:26

    I Sir, am not the one who took an oath, made vows, and am now on the internet looking to get laid. Because Marines are perceived as people of character, Marines practice self-discipline,and hold the principles of HONOR, and COMMITMENT very high in both their public and personal lives. One does not separate the Marine from the man. Semper Fi, I believe it means ALWAYS FAITHFUL, apparently to you it's faithful untill the going gets tough. I will repeat Sir, you do not do the uniform proud. In fact it saddens me to say that the more you post the more you lessen the perception of a United States Marine . It is interesting that you look at intimacy, the most personal and beautiful act two people can share as "payday". Perhaps that sheds some light on why your wife turns her back to you. But enough of this, I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 03, 2005 12:40

    Dear Sweetie,,,, My goodness, must confess that after years of selflessness.... I still enjoy the intimacy that is to experienced between a man and woman. No excuse! Just fact. Even a Marine looks forward to payday. and you, my dear lady, are probably a disgrace to your gender.
  • View author's info posted on Sep 02, 2005 19:12

    Comment: I've always wondered how the men would feel if they were the ones being cheated on???
  • View author's info posted on Sep 01, 2005 13:28

    MrGW write:
    Everyone, I just re-read my previous posting; I am very embarassed and feel badly that I came down so hard on Freysh. I am sincerely sorry; I guess that I was in a bad mood when I replied. I am just a very private person and don't enjoy being asked personal questions by a stranger.

    Hey... I've seen folks take cheap shots at you before, so the way I see it: I'm suprised you had not went off on anyone a lot sooner.

    I think the point everyone has forgotten is that even though this is primarily a dating site, it still does say in the tagline "Where plus-size friends AND singles feel at home!" They seem to put emphasis on friends. Maybe that's why no one is really matching up well with anyone else... LOL
  • View author's info posted on Sep 01, 2005 01:44

    Wow... and I thought I was the only one having trouble in paradise, with the person who I thought was my ideal (believe it or not, I had found someone who had physically FIT what I was looking for!!!) but she just had some really nasty anger issues that she needs to have taken care of before she can even get into a relationship.

    Damn, and my heart was ready to jump for joy at the thought of her being "the one."
  • View author's info posted on Aug 30, 2005 20:55

    Marine Corps Values
    Honor: Honor requires each Marine to exemplify the ultimate standard in ethical and moral conduct. Honor is many things; honor requires many things. A U.S. Marine must never lie, never cheat, never steal, but that is not enough. Much more is required. Each Marine must cling to an uncompromising code of personal integrity, accountable for his actions and holding others accountable for theirs. And, above all, honor mandates that a Marine never sully the reputation of his Corps.

    YOU Sir, do not do the uniform proud.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 30, 2005 06:48

    As a long term married man whose wife began losing her interest in intimacy as early as ten or 15 years into our marriage, I can relate to mcmarine's problems. Yes, I suppose this is not the best forum for this kind of discussion, but we may all become more enlightened by it if we keep an open mind. I was faithful to my wife for forty years. But I don't feel that she has been with me.... in that she slowly decided that she no longer wishes any intimacy. For the last few years of our intimacy, it she only wanted it extremely bland... and of short duration! She has not allowed intimacy now in some ten years. She says that there is nothing wrong with her and that I am silly for still having these "urges." She will not work with me in ANY way. I know that many of you will say, "try this, or try that" but ladies, over the last twenty five years, I have tried EVERYTHING. There is not a thing that you can suggest that I have not tried many times...and with many different approaches. She is unwilling to discuss this with me...won't see a doctor, and counceling is out of the question for her. She will make absolutely no effort to work with me on this. I feel that she has cheated me out of the last half of life - at least as far as intimacy goes. You may not understand, but despite her constant rejection of me, I DO care for her... want her safe, healthy, and reasonably happy. However, I long to hold a woman in my arms... if even for a little while... to really share the "art of love making" with her....and I do mean an "art" - not just a "whambamthankyoumam" affair. I don't wish to harm any marriages, but I would love to find a lady who just wants to be appreciated occasionally by a man... who just wants to experience "passion" occasionally with a trustworthy, clean, healthy, decent man. I know that there are women who have this same problem - with their spouses. I see no problem in our becoming friends and sharing in this beautiful activity occasionally, if discretely. I did experience an affair once for a few months and I must say that my marriage was better, by far, than it had been in years. We all have different priorities and needs. Situations differ greatly. We should not paint everyone with the same color! I have no intention of leaving my wife or stopping caring for her...but I do wish to find a lovely lady friend who just wants to feel the wonderful glow of being desired once in a while... and to experience joys that most people don't even know how to dream about.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 26, 2005 15:06

    My goodness, I admit I do have weakness, it's that, when finding out that I can push someone's buttons and solicit a "from the gut" reply, I'm like a shark that smells blood. This ol' 1stSgt has been called a lot of things but "submissive" is not one of them. I appreciate your concern for my hands, and knowledge of battery location. You're a very sweet girl and I'm confident that such a high spirited woman would be a pleasure to be with. I have a great sense of humor and love the tit for tat of intelligent conversation. You seem like a very delightful and intelligent woman. As for looking over profiles, that's why they are posted. C'mom lighten up. I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised that since I've started this thread I recieved a number of inquires that may prove very productive.
  • View author's info posted on Aug 24, 2005 13:52

    The garden shed?? Not really into self-satisfaction. But I know a lot of BOB's (battery operated boyfriends) are sold. Thanks for the words of encouragement. This Devil Dog is dug in and ready for the flack. So, girls, don't be shy, give it your best shot. And if you understand what I'm saying send me a note of agreement.... Love ya all
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