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Growing old
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Posted on Wed, Mar 29, 2006 17:03

OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee. If you're under 50, this may be amusing. If you're over 50, this is probably reality



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Posted on Mon, Sep 04, 2006 20:28

Chuckling... Thanks for sharing! love the laughs...and knowing what to look forward to.

Happily 31 years young! :) But, looking happily to many years to come! :)



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Posted on Tue, May 16, 2006 18:48

I just love every bit of these. I am 55 years young but i just laughed and l
laughed. Thanks for the joy of the day.

BUBBLES2012



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Posted on Thu, Mar 30, 2006 10:37

THE GOLDEN YEARS HAVE COME AT LAST!
I cannot see, I cannot pee
I cannot chew, I cannot screw
My memory shrinks, my hearing stinks
No sense of smell, I look like hell
My body's drooping, I got trouble pooping
The golden years have come at last



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Posted on Thu, Mar 30, 2006 10:35

BULLETIN!
Seniors are the nations leading carriers of aids:
Hearing aids
band aids
rolaids
walking aids
medical aids
government aids
Most of all, monetary aid to their children!



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Posted on Thu, Mar 30, 2006 09:08

10 LOVEMAKING TIPS FOR SENIORS

1. Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed?with you.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting.? Turn them ALL OFF!

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep extra polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want.? The neighbours are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.