In 1992 I was attending college in upstate NY for my last semester. One of my good friends there I met at that time(Amy) was a BBW. We went out on one or two dates, and I was so attracted to her, as she was to me. I ended up seeing someone else though, which lasted a short time. Anyways, Amy was 5'4, chunky BBW with big melons, and we became close friends. I moved away down to NC and she got lost somewhere up in NY and lost her info and spent so much time looking for her and I eventually gave up.
A few days ago, at my job, Amy walked into there finding out we work for the same company and live in the same area. How freaked out is that (though she is originally from NC) Well she has changed a lot and lost all her weight and I think she had a melon job and a change in personality. I dont know why, but I'm not attracted to her anymore. Dont know if its because of her personality or if its because shes not bubbly anymore. Any ideas??
It's a double edged sword......while I agree, most people basically stay the same, some do change.
The thing is, I wouldn't necesarily pin it on her physical changes. We are the product of our experiences, and who knows what those have been for her? If you are no longer atracted to her; so be it. All you have to look at is the divorce rate to see how common that is, sadly.
Although, I think we all have that one person we like to think of as "the one that got away", the one things could have been perfect with if only certain things had been a little bit different.
It hurts alot to meet them again and discover that may not be the case.
If you both want to be friends, then be friends. But please don't feel guilty that you have lost the spark.
Sometimes with physical change comes a personality change. There have been many posts on the boards here, discussing this very topic. All I can say is..your heart and mind know what you like, and the image you had of her obviously isn't now, what you enjoyed in the past.
I'm not suggesting asking her out and forcing yourself to take her out, but why not just go for a cup of coffee and talk. I've always believed that, for the most part, regardless of the size of a person's body..the core person remains the same.
I have the same personality now as I did when I was less heavy. I can be one sarcastic chubby lady! I have often asked the men who I dated what about me they most liked and they all generally replied in the same manor : my personality...than my body. I'm attracted to nice eyes and a warm smile. After that it's chatting and getting to know the person and see if we have any like interests.
We all change, in appearance, jobs, attitudes, etc over the yrs, but just because her outward appearance has changed doesn't necessarily mean she has, and the only way to find out for sure is to just ask her out. I figure nothing ventured nothing gained. Good luck!